A New Year..

It's 2011.

And I'm 19 going on 20. TWENTY! The big TWO-ZERO! The word 'teen' is not gonna be on my age anymore.. soon.. a few more months to go.. I feel older already.. Gahh! And I thought this "feeling old" crap only starts at 29! :p

New year's day was uneventful.. just normal like any other day.. it didn't really feel like a public holiday... I guess any holiday would feel that way if you felt alone and someone that you care about very much was in a different country... =.=

I feel like many things have changed. Friendships. Relationships. Perspectives.

And it felt like it was only yesterday that I stepped into high school.

Those years it seemed only too important to ranked at the top of the class.. Straining in the anticipation to find out who would be in the top positions... Always looking at our backs to make sure that our competitors were a good length behind us and to always improvise ourselves to step ahead the next time. To move up the ranks. To snatch at any marks to climb up the ranks.

Those years it seemed only too important to attend the best tuitions in town.. Hours and hours spent on homework just to beat everybody else...

Those years where I loathed Sports Practice. I hated it. I hated the sweat. I hated the unmerciful glare of the Sun.

Those years I spoke in only English and hokkien and the occasional Malay when I was required to.

Those years where I thought I've seen enough of the world and the people in it. And boy, was I wrong!!

How things have changed.

Now I was at a University, doing my Honors.

And I realize... the world is a vast and deep ocean yet to be explored.

So much variety. So many tastes. But only, too little time.

The people that I've met changed my whole perspective on life greatly. Especially the ones that have been close to me.

The people that I admire and respect. They seemed to share in the things that they have.

Never selfish, as the act of a candle lighting another candle, does not dim its light but instead magnifies and passes on the flame of generosity...

There is probably less competition of who's on which ranking...

There is no 1st, 2nd or 3rd..

There are only As, Bs and Cs..

And it was enlightening and touching to see that we were sincerely helping one another to achieve the best that we can... And that is what I call, a true friend. Someone who supports you, gives you advice, and is happy for you when you're happy. Someone who trusts you and has your back and thinks of you even when you think they have forgotten you.. :)

Now I kinda have a crush on Sports. The sun isn't that bad. You only need to know the time of the day to enjoyed the weather. Sweating is something that I find pleasurable and not to mention that it's actually beneficial to my health! :D

Nowadays. Mandarin is a must.. and I find it an interesting language to explore.. :)

And now I definitely know that there are so many different kind of people and personalities in the world.. and sometimes.. you never knew these kind of people even existed until you've really met them! Hahh!

Old friends are not forgotten.. New friends bring fresh perspectives.. and Future friends are always welcome! :)

But most of all, I realize that it's not which position you are at that counts.. it's what you've learned throughout the learning process that really matters.. :)

Sure there are changes. But there are still things that remain the same. Things that make me ME! I still love reading. And I still love writing. And I still love animals.. (mostly warm-blooded ones..) and I'm just truly grateful to have the best family in the world!! :D

And I'm still on sem break till mid-Jan..

So currently I'm finding stuff to do to kill the time..

I was reading the Vampire Diaries series and I was captured by this very romantic scene :) ~

"Ah… Stefan," she added in a changed tone as a new thought struck her, "what about mirrors? I don't remember ever seeing you in one."

For a moment, he didn't answer. Then he said, "Legend has it that mirrors reflect the soul of the person who looks into them. That's why primitive people are afraid of mirrors; they're afraid that their souls will be trapped and stolen. My kind is supposed to have no reflection—because we have no souls."

Slowly, he reached up to the rearview mirror and tilted it downward, adjusting it so that Elena could look into it. In the silvered glass, she saw his eyes, lost, haunted, and infinitely sad.

There was nothing to do but hold on to him, and Elena did. "I love you," she whispered. It was the only comfort she could give him. It was all they had. His arms tightened around her; his face was buried in her hair. "You're the mirror," he whispered back.

It was good to feel him relax, tension flowing out of his body as warmth and comfort flowed in. She was comforted, too, a sense of peace infusing her, surrounding her. It was so good that she forgot to ask him what he meant until they were at her front door, saying good-bye.

"I'm the mirror?" she said then, looking up at him.

"You've stolen my soul," he said. "Lock the door behind you, and don't open it again tonight." Then he was gone.

PS: HOW SWEET & ROMANTIC!! >.< :p Can't wait to watch the upcoming episodes of Vampire Diaries.. damn that PPS!! :p

The Little Things That Really Matter...

Time passes by. Sometimes quickly. Sometimes slowly. And sometimes it feels like time doesn't move at all. But passes, it does.

It's time for final exams again. And the study week passes just like that - in a blink of an eye. And after all that's said and done, I just wanna say.. Thank You, Wong Yi Heng.. for making my study week bearable and also kinda fun.. :)

So much has happened this sem. So many things thought. So many things said. So many things done. But at the end of the day, it all doesn't really matter. What matters is what you've learned and what kind of a person you've turned into throughout the entire process we call life; what are the little things that make us become who we are and who we are not.

The other day, I read this email that my aunt sent me. It contained many words of wisdom. And one that really caught my attention was this: People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. It really got me thinking. Walls. Bridges. A wall separates. A bridge connects. People are lonely, because they build walls. They build a wall around themselves; they shut other people away. As humans, sometimes that's what we do. Maybe we do it to protect ourselves from the potential pain that other people may cause when we let them into our lives. Maybe we do it because we're just too afraid to feel happy, afraid that one day when we wake up...we discover that all the happiness shared with the other person was only a dream. Maybe we do it because some of us are just that way - shut everybody else out - without giving them a real chance to show us the kind of person that they really are. We make judgements, comments and we even place labels on other people without really knowing what their story is; without giving them time; without giving them a fair chance to prove themselves and what's most tragic is that we don't even give ourselves a chance to find out the real them. And sometimes, that's when we miss out on the good stuff. We miss out on noticing someone that could have been someone special to us.... And before we know it...it's already too late to regret the pass...the chance has come and gone...and that's why some people turn out to be Lonely. Upset. Angry. Bitter. Miserable. All because they build walls instead of bridges.

And observing the people around me this pass few weeks... I notice one thing. Mostly people tend to thrive on the negative instead of the positive. They're always thinking of ways to tear other people down when they should be building them up. Some people can't stand the sight of other people's happiness. Maybe it's because other people's happiness remind them of their sadness, or loneliness and they hate to see other people being happy.

Once, a teacher told me that sometimes, people gloat over your failure.... and it's true. We, humans.... we always look out for other people's mistakes and once we get our chance, we point them out to the world. It's just so easy to see other people's shortcomings and weaknesses isn't it??? But why it is so hard to notice their strengths and uniqueness? Shouldn't we be counting their good traits instead of their bad? But maybe that it just typical human nature. Something that has been incorporated into our genetic make-up when Adam fell from grace.

Sometimes, life gets so busy that we get caught up with the big things.. and we totally forget to stop, catch a breath and notice the little things in life. We're always ready to pin point out a mistake. But what about appreciating and complimenting other people when they are nice or good at something? Maybe someone was nice enough to clean the dishes or maybe someone was nice enough to sweep the floor. Or maybe they showed concern when they found out about a problem that you were facing.

For every single little deed of kindness shown to us.. sometimes, being caught up in the swiftness of life, we just forget to say a simple, warm Thank You - just to symbolize that.. hey.. i appreciate you and i appreciate what you've done. Sometimes, we're too indulged in our work and achievements.. and we just don't say Thank You to the people around that care about us...and we just don't say it enough.

Many a times, we try to change other people. We try to alter their perspectives. We try to change them, in hope to get them looking at things at our way. We hope that they would be on our side no matter what. No matter we were right or wrong. We are selfish creatures. And when things don't work out the way we want them to, sometimes we just get tired of trying and somewhere along the way...we give up; feeling disappointed and defeated. But perhaps we should be changing ourselves rather than always trying to always change others? Or maybe it's impossible to change other people and it's just easier to accept the things that we cannot change? Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Maybe there is just no answer to the question at hand. Just another shade of grey, inseparable from the whites and blacks of life....

But I always believe that change happens all the time. So,maybe people change when they're ready; and perhaps they change on their own terms. And maybe we just need to sit back and let them live their lives and start to really live ours... Because life's too short to waste it changing somebody else. And I will always believe that love can change everything. I only sincerely hope that as I change through time, I would be the person that makes you proud. I understand that I can't always expect you to do things my way because you are who you are. And I'm sorry if did anything that made you uncomfortable. I'm not angel. I'm only human. And I make mistakes, too. I guess it only hurts so much because I care so much, about you.

I've thought about the 3 words that we sometimes, don't say enough. They are:

I love you.

I miss you.

I appreciate you.

I am sorry.

I forgive you.

And there are also words like " You're special", "I'm proud of you", and "You're doing great!" that we don't bother to say... because we think that giving compliments to other people returns us zero benefit. Yes, it may be true that giving other people compliments may not be beneficial to us.. but it really gives the other party a confidence boost and it really makes them feel good to be acknowledged and noticed. Someone should tell another person how good they are when they are good at something. Because a few kind words goes a long way.

We all need to be loved and appreciated for every little thing that we do... and the little things that make us who we are... and we also have to appreciate and love others for every little thing that they do and the little things that make them who they are. We all need to feel special every once in a while. We all need to hear words of kindness and appreciation. But we just don't say it enough.

Perhaps by saying these words more frequently, we wouldn't be building invisible walls... but instead we would be building tangible bridges that connect lives and link relationships.

QUOTE: The last time I gave a speech about Nathan and Haley was, well at their first reception. I remember saying, 'Prepare to be surprised.' Well, I have to say even I was surprised; because, you see they do something that's very rare to see in someone our age. Actually, it's very rare to see in anybody; they give their hearts to each other, unconditionally. And, that's what true love really is. It's not this fairytale life that never knows pain, but it's two souls facing it together and diminishing it with unconditional love. To Nathan and Haley Scott. ~Lucas Scott.