Here's How I See It

A New Year..

2011-01-05T23:44:00.012+08:00

It's 2011.

And I'm 19 going on 20. TWENTY! The big TWO-ZERO! The word 'teen' is not gonna be on my age anymore.. soon.. a few more months to go.. I feel older already.. Gahh! And I thought this "feeling old" crap only starts at 29! :p

New year's day was uneventful.. just normal like any other day.. it didn't really feel like a public holiday... I guess any holiday would feel that way if you felt alone and someone that you care about very much was in a different country... =.=

I feel like many things have changed. Friendships. Relationships. Perspectives.

And it felt like it was only yesterday that I stepped into high school.

Those years it seemed only too important to ranked at the top of the class.. Straining in the anticipation to find out who would be in the top positions... Always looking at our backs to make sure that our competitors were a good length behind us and to always improvise ourselves to step ahead the next time. To move up the ranks. To snatch at any marks to climb up the ranks.

Those years it seemed only too important to attend the best tuitions in town.. Hours and hours spent on homework just to beat everybody else...

Those years where I loathed Sports Practice. I hated it. I hated the sweat. I hated the unmerciful glare of the Sun.

Those years I spoke in only English and hokkien and the occasional Malay when I was required to.

Those years where I thought I've seen enough of the world and the people in it. And boy, was I wrong!!

How things have changed.

Now I was at a University, doing my Honors.

And I realize... the world is a vast and deep ocean yet to be explored.

So much variety. So many tastes. But only, too little time.

The people that I've met changed my whole perspective on life greatly. Especially the ones that have been close to me.

The people that I admire and respect. They seemed to share in the things that they have.

Never selfish, as the act of a candle lighting another candle, does not dim its light but instead magnifies and passes on the flame of generosity...

There is probably less competition of who's on which ranking...

There is no 1st, 2nd or 3rd..

There are only As, Bs and Cs..

And it was enlightening and touching to see that we were sincerely helping one another to achieve the best that we can... And that is what I call, a true friend. Someone who supports you, gives you advice, and is happy for you when you're happy. Someone who trusts you and has your back and thinks of you even when you think they have forgotten you.. :)

Now I kinda have a crush on Sports. The sun isn't that bad. You only need to know the time of the day to enjoyed the weather. Sweating is something that I find pleasurable and not to mention that it's actually beneficial to my health! :D

Nowadays. Mandarin is a must.. and I find it an interesting language to explore.. :)

And now I definitely know that there are so many different kind of people and personalities in the world.. and sometimes.. you never knew these kind of people even existed until you've really met them! Hahh!

Old friends are not forgotten.. New friends bring fresh perspectives.. and Future friends are always welcome! :)

But most of all, I realize that it's not which position you are at that counts.. it's what you've learned throughout the learning process that really matters.. :)

Sure there are changes. But there are still things that remain the same. Things that make me ME! I still love reading. And I still love writing. And I still love animals.. (mostly warm-blooded ones..) and I'm just truly grateful to have the best family in the world!! :D

And I'm still on sem break till mid-Jan..

So currently I'm finding stuff to do to kill the time..

I was reading the Vampire Diaries series and I was captured by this very romantic scene :) ~

"Ah… Stefan," she added in a changed tone as a new thought struck her, "what about mirrors? I don't remember ever seeing you in one."

For a moment, he didn't answer. Then he said, "Legend has it that mirrors reflect the soul of the person who looks into them. That's why primitive people are afraid of mirrors; they're afraid that their souls will be trapped and stolen. My kind is supposed to have no reflection—because we have no souls."

Slowly, he reached up to the rearview mirror and tilted it downward, adjusting it so that Elena could look into it. In the silvered glass, she saw his eyes, lost, haunted, and infinitely sad.

There was nothing to do but hold on to him, and Elena did. "I love you," she whispered. It was the only comfort she could give him. It was all they had. His arms tightened around her; his face was buried in her hair. "You're the mirror," he whispered back.

It was good to feel him relax, tension flowing out of his body as warmth and comfort flowed in. She was comforted, too, a sense of peace infusing her, surrounding her. It was so good that she forgot to ask him what he meant until they were at her front door, saying good-bye.

"I'm the mirror?" she said then, looking up at him.

"You've stolen my soul," he said. "Lock the door behind you, and don't open it again tonight." Then he was gone.

PS: HOW SWEET & ROMANTIC!! >.< :p Can't wait to watch the upcoming episodes of Vampire Diaries.. damn that PPS!! :p

The Little Things That Really Matter...

2010-09-12T00:31:00.014+08:00

Time passes by. Sometimes quickly. Sometimes slowly. And sometimes it feels like time doesn't move at all. But passes, it does.

It's time for final exams again. And the study week passes just like that - in a blink of an eye. And after all that's said and done, I just wanna say.. Thank You, Wong Yi Heng.. for making my study week bearable and also kinda fun.. :)

So much has happened this sem. So many things thought. So many things said. So many things done. But at the end of the day, it all doesn't really matter. What matters is what you've learned and what kind of a person you've turned into throughout the entire process we call life; what are the little things that make us become who we are and who we are not.

The other day, I read this email that my aunt sent me. It contained many words of wisdom. And one that really caught my attention was this: People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. It really got me thinking. Walls. Bridges. A wall separates. A bridge connects. People are lonely, because they build walls. They build a wall around themselves; they shut other people away. As humans, sometimes that's what we do. Maybe we do it to protect ourselves from the potential pain that other people may cause when we let them into our lives. Maybe we do it because we're just too afraid to feel happy, afraid that one day when we wake up...we discover that all the happiness shared with the other person was only a dream. Maybe we do it because some of us are just that way - shut everybody else out - without giving them a real chance to show us the kind of person that they really are. We make judgements, comments and we even place labels on other people without really knowing what their story is; without giving them time; without giving them a fair chance to prove themselves and what's most tragic is that we don't even give ourselves a chance to find out the real them. And sometimes, that's when we miss out on the good stuff. We miss out on noticing someone that could have been someone special to us.... And before we know it...it's already too late to regret the pass...the chance has come and gone...and that's why some people turn out to be Lonely. Upset. Angry. Bitter. Miserable. All because they build walls instead of bridges.

And observing the people around me this pass few weeks... I notice one thing. Mostly people tend to thrive on the negative instead of the positive. They're always thinking of ways to tear other people down when they should be building them up. Some people can't stand the sight of other people's happiness. Maybe it's because other people's happiness remind them of their sadness, or loneliness and they hate to see other people being happy.

Once, a teacher told me that sometimes, people gloat over your failure.... and it's true. We, humans.... we always look out for other people's mistakes and once we get our chance, we point them out to the world. It's just so easy to see other people's shortcomings and weaknesses isn't it??? But why it is so hard to notice their strengths and uniqueness? Shouldn't we be counting their good traits instead of their bad? But maybe that it just typical human nature. Something that has been incorporated into our genetic make-up when Adam fell from grace.

Sometimes, life gets so busy that we get caught up with the big things.. and we totally forget to stop, catch a breath and notice the little things in life. We're always ready to pin point out a mistake. But what about appreciating and complimenting other people when they are nice or good at something? Maybe someone was nice enough to clean the dishes or maybe someone was nice enough to sweep the floor. Or maybe they showed concern when they found out about a problem that you were facing.

For every single little deed of kindness shown to us.. sometimes, being caught up in the swiftness of life, we just forget to say a simple, warm Thank You - just to symbolize that.. hey.. i appreciate you and i appreciate what you've done. Sometimes, we're too indulged in our work and achievements.. and we just don't say Thank You to the people around that care about us...and we just don't say it enough.

Many a times, we try to change other people. We try to alter their perspectives. We try to change them, in hope to get them looking at things at our way. We hope that they would be on our side no matter what. No matter we were right or wrong. We are selfish creatures. And when things don't work out the way we want them to, sometimes we just get tired of trying and somewhere along the way...we give up; feeling disappointed and defeated. But perhaps we should be changing ourselves rather than always trying to always change others? Or maybe it's impossible to change other people and it's just easier to accept the things that we cannot change? Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Maybe there is just no answer to the question at hand. Just another shade of grey, inseparable from the whites and blacks of life....

But I always believe that change happens all the time. So,maybe people change when they're ready; and perhaps they change on their own terms. And maybe we just need to sit back and let them live their lives and start to really live ours... Because life's too short to waste it changing somebody else. And I will always believe that love can change everything. I only sincerely hope that as I change through time, I would be the person that makes you proud. I understand that I can't always expect you to do things my way because you are who you are. And I'm sorry if did anything that made you uncomfortable. I'm not angel. I'm only human. And I make mistakes, too. I guess it only hurts so much because I care so much, about you.

I've thought about the 3 words that we sometimes, don't say enough. They are:

I love you.

I miss you.

I appreciate you.

I am sorry.

I forgive you.

And there are also words like " You're special", "I'm proud of you", and "You're doing great!" that we don't bother to say... because we think that giving compliments to other people returns us zero benefit. Yes, it may be true that giving other people compliments may not be beneficial to us.. but it really gives the other party a confidence boost and it really makes them feel good to be acknowledged and noticed. Someone should tell another person how good they are when they are good at something. Because a few kind words goes a long way.

We all need to be loved and appreciated for every little thing that we do... and the little things that make us who we are... and we also have to appreciate and love others for every little thing that they do and the little things that make them who they are. We all need to feel special every once in a while. We all need to hear words of kindness and appreciation. But we just don't say it enough.

Perhaps by saying these words more frequently, we wouldn't be building invisible walls... but instead we would be building tangible bridges that connect lives and link relationships.

QUOTE: The last time I gave a speech about Nathan and Haley was, well at their first reception. I remember saying, 'Prepare to be surprised.' Well, I have to say even I was surprised; because, you see they do something that's very rare to see in someone our age. Actually, it's very rare to see in anybody; they give their hearts to each other, unconditionally. And, that's what true love really is. It's not this fairytale life that never knows pain, but it's two souls facing it together and diminishing it with unconditional love. To Nathan and Haley Scott. ~Lucas Scott.

2010-08-16T01:32:00.006+08:00

Another busy week passes by.... I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be dreadful, tiring and unbearable... brutal! But thanks to your company, the week passed by ..and it was not bad.. :)

Just had my maths test 2 on Saturday and my programming test on Thursday... and i really don't wanna see the results when they are out. Especially my programming..Haih... (shakes head)

Just have been thinking lately. Some people really get on my nerves....but really, when I think about it... it's really nothing big. They didn't really did anything to me. Besides showing a "bittergourd face"...or rather "poker face"...(as they call it)...almost 99% of the time and shooting almost everyone in our class when they didn't even really knew us yet!!! They might think that that kinda face is so cool.. but in fact.. it's just plain cold, uncool and pathetic!! Yeah, yeah.. I get it. You're miserable. But do you really have to project that "miserable-ness" to everyone else beside you? Please go get a life, man! You mean nothing to me. Nothing. So please. Just stay away from me and get out of my way...and I'll stay out of you face. Go ahead with you childish ways and your self-centered-ness... you always mock the many people that you dislike...but really... are you even aware that actually, there are many, many others who don't really "like" you that much too?!! Please.. just look into the mirror and you might just see that the reflection in the mirror is something that I would run away and hide from...how ridiculous and how funny that some people can be so self-indulged and arrogant.. Really...I don't hate some people. I'm just happier when they're not around.......

I admit..I do side with some people ..because they are my friends. And that's just what friends do. I know. You are the neutral one. You are always the neutral one. You've told me before that you won't take any sides. I get it, really. It's good that you are not biased. Because that means that you're rational. And that is something that I love about you. But sometimes, I really hoped and wanted you to picked a side. My side. Maybe I sound really selfish saying this out loud. But that's just how I really feel. I really wanted you to maybe be not so rational for once. Some things just didn't have to make any sense right? The simple reason is that you side with the person that you love. You side with the person that holds your heart. But I guess that was too much to ask of you. And I will not bring this matter up anymore. Because I don't wanna get disappointed again.

Today..just realized something. Sometimes i really try my best. I try so hard. But what for? Try to hard just to get disappointed at the end. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it anymore? Am I doing the right thing? Or am I just plain silly?.. But well.. I don't regret anything. All the effort. Because at least I've tried. But it just really hurts sometimes. And it makes me feel like giving up and not to bother so much anymore. Just ignore everything. But that's just not who I am. I am who I am. And this is the best that I can be. This is the best that I can do. And if that's not good enough for you. Then I guess there's nothing left to say. There's nothing more that I can say. All I can do is just to focus on my studies from now on... and just be myself..... so that I will be someone that isn't just "good enough"... but even better,... great, ..and the best.

Rough Day...

2010-07-15T21:45:00.005+08:00

Today..

Finally figured out something...

This Saturday, there's a Maths for Engineering test... so now..everyone's busy focusing on Maths.. so am I...

After the test, my groupmates & I have to meet up to discuss our English for Engineering assignment...and to be frank, if I didn't ask them to do it.. we still wouldn't have selected an article by now! ..

Next week... there's a Engineering Computing practical lab test on Tuesday... it's open book.. but still.. I'm not really pro in programming.. damn!

Next... Friday.. we're supposed to hand in our Circuit Theory lab report and Circuit Theory assignment!! And I still haven't touched both!

And..today.. I finally noticed the attitude of my groupmates. They are ignorant and lazy. They like to take their time and drag the work. All the readings of the Circuit Theory lab report was with me..and only yesterday one of them decided to take the readings from me.. after almost 2 weeks!! And the rest of them only took it from me today..and they haven't even printed out the lab manual!! Wah lao!.. really...speechless liao... since we were in the same group and we had similar readings..there were 5 parts of calculations in our report...I suggested that each of us took 1 part and then we can combine our answer... 4 people..each choose 1 part..and the final part, we would solve it together.. And they said: "Isn't it supposed to be an individual report?!"

== ...I was trying to make things easier for them but it seems like my efforts went to waste. I was telling them about how busy next week would be..and we really have to do something. And one of them said in mandarin: Cool Down!! You cool down first!! Wait first!..

And I said: Cool down?? Hey..the questions won't get calculated on their own you know! You've gotta get moving and calculate the answers!!!

Wah lao...ask me to cool down! How to cool down when time is running out and I know that I'm not superwoman?!

Really frustrating. Not that I wanna be bossy or anything. But sometimes, someone's gotta say something!! Well.. I tried my best..so if they're still ignorant, I'll get my things done on my own and find other ways to complete my work... Since my efforts are not appreciate..why care so much? At the end of the day.. no one's gonna thank me.. and I might even end up being the 'bad guy'...

I've been thinking alot today... And I feel that I've changed. I don't like this change. I've become weak and dependant when instead, I'm so much better than that. That's it. I'm tired of doing this. Again and again..and sometimes it seems like there's no end. I'm done being the weaker one. I'm done being the dependant one. I'm done missing you too much all the time. I'm done procrastinating. I'm done wasting my time on people who don't even care. I'm done with all this crap.

After today..after thinking for like the longest time... I finally realise that in life.. I've gotta be strong... I've gotta make my choices efficiently. Sometimes, I've gotta lead and take control, even when it seems like I'm gonna be the 'bad guy'... I've gotta take care of myself. I've gotta get used to doing things on my own... although I know that you're always there for me.. but I don't wanna trouble you and become a burden... Yeah.. I've cried when I feel helpless.. But SO WHAT?! Life is not always smooth sailing..and I'm just having a rough time right now, that's all..

Today I recall the bookmark I once bought for my dad. It printed: "Tough Times Don't Last, but Tough People Do!" And yeah.. I'm gonna be tough from now own.. I'll try...although things may not always work out to be the way I want it to.. I'm gonna make the best of it. Like I once heard this saying..somewhere..I don't remember where.. When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade!!

:) :)

~~I just wanna say..thank you, WYH for being there for me... I really really appreciate it.. =3=

I'll Try~

2010-06-22T23:25:00.006+08:00

Today...
Finally played some badminton...
It feels good to sweat..and release all the tension...release all the stress...release all the sadness
And get lost in the happiness of the moment...get lost.......lost; away from everything........
For a moment...... If only it could have last longer...

Today...
I start to think about what I dream of when I'm asleep...
I haven't been getting much sleep lately...and I wonder why...
I start to wonder if that feeling is ever going to go away.....
Because it's really draining out my energy....
Sometimes, I feel like I'm fighting...but I can't really see who or what I'm fighting against...
Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a ghost...
Fighting just to be who I used to be....
Fighting to be who I wanna be...
The weird thing is... resting & sleeping doesn't seem to take the tiredness away...
Tired. Just tired.
Tired. Because I can't do anything. Because nothing can be done.
I can only let the time pass by.
I'll try. And that's all I can tell you. For now.

累了～

2010-06-20T16:50:00.008+08:00

那天。。。
我不小心看到了一些我不应该看到的东西。。。
我告诉过自己～不可以在乎，也不可以介意因为如果我在乎，我介意，受到伤害的人这会是自己。。。
但，我做不到。。。
我承认。我就是在乎。我就是介意。

心～
就流血了，
就痛了。。。好痛。。。
是那种连我自己都不了解的痛。。。

心痛了。哭了。累了。
我真的不想再有这种感觉了
我真的失望了
我真的累了

有时候我会想，我是应该放弃了吗？
有时候我会想，我还有没有力量继续走下去呢？
有时候我会想，如果你是我，你会有什么感觉呢？

可能你知道
但，知道并不代表你了解
我是该怎样才可以让你了解呢？
这两天～我想了很久很久。。。
但，答案就是我什么都做不到。。。

我累了。
真的累了。。。。。。。。。。。

Invitations & Thoughts...

2010-06-14T21:40:00.005+08:00

Today..suddenly feel like I received so many invitations...

My coursemates asked me if I wanted to join them for a Orchestra Concert this Sunday night from 8-10pm.. still considering.. I'm afraid that it might bore me..and homework seems to be pilling up these few days.

After that, they asked if I would like to play badminton with them this Saturday..and also 31st August.. (so far away! and it's a public holiday!) ..also still considering...My badminton skills aren't really good.. I've always wanted to find someone to practice with me but... I guess so far I haven't... and my racket's collecting dust in my room! Haha...

Later, they said.."Hey, maybe we should visit Gua Tempurung! You wanna join?"... errmmm..

Another friend asked if I wanted to join choir practice for a performance this Thursday afternoon from 1-3pm... but I think I'll skip this one.. I'm not good at singing and I'm a lazy performer.. :P

I've been thinking alot today.... About many things... About who I am... About what I want.... About what I need.... About what I am capable of. I've realised that when life puts you into situations that need you to step out of your comfort zone, and forces you to do something that you consider truly hard...that is when you will discover your full potential..and maybe even discover that you have a hidden ability.

I've been thinking alot about what we talked about.. about how I felt... and I realised that maybe... I acted that way..it's not so much about love.... but more because of weakness and dependency... because you were there when I needed.. maybe it has become my habit..a habit that I intend to correct, now that I've realised... now that I see the clearer picture.. Things are becoming out of balance...and that's not how I ever wanted it to be... It has to stop at some point... because it's not who I was; it's not who I am..and it's definitely not who I wanna become...

Yes. It's too high a price to pay; and it's a price that I can't afford...and the price is only going to get higher everytime... I have to protect myself, too. I once had a shield to protect myself... from you; from them; from the world... but I've let my shield down... and now I have to pay the price... and I don't like the way it is going... more and more out of balance. It should be the other way round... and it's up to me to re-create that balance. I know what I must do. And I will do it. I promise. A promise to you and to myself.

Sometimes you've just gotta go what you gotta do ..for the better.... I guess....

2010-06-13T20:36:00.005+08:00

Today, I passed by a group of friends playing frisbee in the field...

It made me think about you guys and all the fun that we used to have together.

I miss frisbee...

World Cup has started but so far, I havent't even seen a full game yet... Ughh..
I kinda miss home these few days... I miss my mom and dad... I wished that I could watch football with him... Enjoy the game, dad! :)

~ I will wipe away the tears; harden my heart; change my mind and move forward... never look back... ~

THE DIFFERENCES... ~ 不一样了。。

2010-06-12T23:26:00.009+08:00

Time flies. The 2nd week of my 1st sem as a degree student has passed. How quickly. How swiftly. Sometimes everything seems to pass by in a blur..just like what happens when I sit in the back seat of my dad's car..he drives so fast that all I can see when I look out the window is just a blur of the view passing by...the shapes undefined; moving like shadows - impossible to catch.

The 1st week of degree was OK. Although the first few days were kinda hard to get by. Time seemed to pass so slowly, as the clock ticks by the hour. The tutorial classes were cancelled, so the breaks in between made it worse. I saw many unfamiliar faces. Strange rooms. And corridors that were alien to me. It was all just... Different.

Different. That's just how things are going to be now. That's just the reality that I have to face - no matter how cruel it is, no matter how hard it is.
Different. That's just how it feels like when I walk by the long, empty corridors without you... when I walk into a class full of strangers... when I search for an empty seat in the crowded cafeteria just so that I can get a place to eat...
Different. That's just how life is now... when I think of something funny but I turn around to find that you're not there to laugh with me... when I say 'whatever' but you're not there to shoot me back... when I feel like going to the park to play frisbee, but you are not there to run beside me...when I'm hungry and miss eating home-cooked food, but you're not there to prepare me that delicious porridge. Not anymore.

But I guess that's just the way it is..and that's just the way that it's gonna be. You go your way.. and I'll walk on my own path. That's just life. It's nothing cruel. It's nothing bad. It just happens that way. Someone once told me that.. In our lives, people walk in and people walk out..Some might even linger, and stay for awhile..but true friends leave footprints on our hearts. And that's true. Alex Yip Pak Hong, Ooi San Nee, Lim Pei Wern, Wong Yi Heng, Shio Soon Yi, Lim Yu Tai, Liaw Kai Jun, Tong Boon Jie... All I wanna say is.. THANKS - for giving me the best time of my life; for giving me a great foundation year; for leaving me with the best memories of friendship... I am proud to call you all my friend.. and thank you for everything that you have done for me.. teaching me when I don't understand... helping me when I couldn't handle it.. lifting me up when I fell.. and cheering me up when I'm down...

Last weekend.. I went to KL to visit my friends.. their house was great.. it's was pretty clean.. for a house with 6 guys in it..really not bad d.. haha! Sunny & I camped in at Pei Wern's room and Soon Yi provided me his bed..(as promised)..thanks, Soon Yi! You're a good bro! :) On Saturday, we hung out at MidValley..and watched Prince of Persia...it was a great movie..although before that, the shopping part was kinda dull because I wasn't in the mood to shop...but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I got to spend time with my friends... :) At night.. Pei Wern, Sunny and myself had our pillow talk session..and we were joined by Alex, Jia Zhen, Yu Tai & Soon Yi...there was so much to catch up on..and we had a good time talking and laughing like old friends..And as usual, time passes even more quickly when we're enjoying ourselves..and more so in a city like KL where time is wasted catching the public transport and bustling through the traffic... Sunday came and it was time to return to Kampar..we took the 2.30pm bus.

2nd week in campus as a Degree student..was better... I got to know more about some of my coursemates... The guys are pretty friendly.. There was one day when we were having our Engineering Computing practical class.. I'd printed out my question.. but the rest of them didn't.. so the lecturer asked why do I have the question paper? I said "Because I took it from Ms. Mak.." Then he asked.."Then why they all don't have it one?".. I answered .." Err...coz they didn't take it from Ms. Mak lo..." (it's kind of a funny way to answer back..haha!) Apparently, we could all access the WBLE but there were no notes uploaded in it..so we could not get the notes unless we personally took the soft copy from our lecturers and printed it ourselves... So the lecturer teased.."Hmm..there..this is what we call University student! If you don't have the notes, you must go and find it! Go and ask from your lecturer! You all ahh..still sekolah menengah students ler.." I sat there..don't know what kind of reaction to give.. just sat still... with a sheepish look on my face...i guess.. then he continued.."You all get the notes from her lah..and you (referring to me).. and charge them 5 cents per person.." LOL! If I really wanted to charge them..I would charge even more lo! haha!!

After the class ended, they asked me if I could give them all the softcopy notes that I have..and I was happy to help. 2 of them gave me their pendrives and I told them that I would return it to them the next day. Then they asked me to join them for lunch. Me and a bunch of guys.. it was kinda weird at first.. but later on, it was kinda nice... most of them were from Perak.. and one was from Pahang.. and even some were banana! hehe.. it was nice to get to know them... :) They even asked if I wanted to join them for badminton.. and another guy asked if I was a Christian.. and invited me to a Christian event that night... (sometimes I wonder whether it's so obvious that I'm a Christian or is it because of my name?..hehe..but I'm happy about that..) All in all, 2nd week was kinda nice... I was getting used to the routine... walking solo through the long, silent, empty corridors in block E... strolling by the lakeside from block E to the cafeteria.. hanging out at the small cafeteria and doing some homework... and going to block B to use the computer labs... just me... although everythings is just different. But I guess I am getting used to it.. and that's a good thing...

Friday...I had a bad case of flu.. after being caught in the rain for 2 times... lectures were a drag and I wished that classes would end sooner but the time seemed to pass by so slowly!! So, when there was a 2-hour break I went to the sitting area near the ATM..the place that we all used to hang out - the place where we did our revision before our tests - the place where we waited for our next class - the place where we had our discussions - the place where we chatted, laughed, worked and even, slept! It was a place full of our memories. The entire scene was just the same.. with yellow tables and orange chairs.. but the only difference was.. I was there.. by myself... Yesterday night you were supposed to bring my dinner.. but it kept on raining for the whole night.. and you said that if it didn't stop raining soon, you would walk to my house. But I told you not to come..it was raining quite heavily..it was wet, cold and it wasn't a short walk to my place...so I said that if it didn't stop raining at 9pm, then don't come anymore. But to my surprise, you showed up at my front door at 9pm! And it was still raining! .....It was just so sweet of you... touching!! :) The porridge was extra delicious, really.... :) Thank you, so much...

This past week made me realised many things....
One thing that I found out was that I didn't realise how much I missed you guys..until I after I came back from visiting you all that KL... It was so sudden.. and yeah..really.. I miss you guys... And I hope that we will meet again soon.

One thing about life. It has no 'undo' button. We can never change what we did in the past. We can only live in the present... to create a better future... a better future for ourselves and for the people that we love. And if you'd ask me.. "Would you change for the people that you love?" My answer would be .."Yes, I would." Because, to change..sometimes it means to sacrifice.. and sacrificial love is the highest level of love.... like God who sacrificed his son for all of mankind.. because He loved the world so much... Sure..the past hurts, sometimes..more than you can ever imagine. Now I look at the word 'pain' in a whole new different meaning... physical pain is just so shallow...and usually temporary... and the pain in the heart.. is just an entirely different story. It's the kind of pain that makes you wanna cry... that makes you cry till you can't stop.. that makes you feel like you can't breathe... that makes you feel like someone just punched a hole in your chest... that makes you feel like drowning and there's no way to get up to the surface... Sure, the past hurts, sometimes. But there's just nothing I can do about it, can I? Sure, the past hurts, sometimes.. But do we let it bring us down? No. I won't let it win. I can't. I can do better than that. And I've done it. I've accepted it. All because of the simple reason. Love. A friend once told me.. "In life, you can't change everything.. but..you can accept anything." There are no 'undo' buttons in life. So, the only way to live life is by appreciating every moment and cherishing the people that you care about... it never hurts to think twice, or even three times before making a decision.. or before saying a word...because life is not like a computer program where you just 'delete' what's unwanted, 'cancel' what's wrong and 'undo' what's past... that is something very valuable that I've learned...

The next thing I noticed was.. when we get closer to someone, we tend to rely on them. Rely on them for support. Rely on them for help. Rely on them for companionship. Rely on them for relieve. We start to depend on them. For many reasons. And when the people that we rely on are not there for us.. we begin to feel a little helpless and weak.... and I realised that.. maybe.. I've been relying and depending on you a little too much. Was I? DEPENDENCE. What is the meaning of dependence? Does it mean that me wanting to be with you means that I'm depending on you? This is something that I've realised.. and yet, it is something that I don't fully understand. But even so, I will try to stand on my own...from now on.....................

Next weekend, you'd be away.. just wanted to spend more time with you this weekend, that's all.. The coming weeks are not going to be easy. It's different now. Degree and Foundation just don't go along on the same page. It's time to be more self-reliant; more determined; more hardworking. Assignments and mid-term tests are on their way... Different people have different responsibilities.. And our responsibilities are greater now...You have yours and I have mine... and I fully understand that... Just give me this weekend... and that's all I'll ask... I'll be more independent than before, after this... I would be standing on my own... and that's a promise that I intend to keep.

~To all my friends, All The Best in your Degree Year1 Sem1... Thank you, once again..Missing u guys always.. and I hope to see you all again soon!! :) ~

My HERO ~

2010-05-11T13:42:00.008+08:00

---Mother. What are the words that come to your mind when you hear or see the word 'MOTHER'? For myself, these words come across my mind. Mother - short. cute. loving. caring. concerned. inspiring. encouraging. listener. a best friend. likes to nag (only sometimes! :p). clean. strong. kind. hug-able---

I still remember that day. Friday, 30th April 2010 - Last Day of my Foundation Studies, Year 1 Sem 3. After that day, I would have finally completed my education in Foundation Studies. And I dreaded that day - because that day, to me, was not a happy ocassion (although it ought to be..)..to me, it was like the day that everything would finally come to a close, a conclusion. I was a person who did not like saying goodbyes to the people that I cared about... sometimes, even if the time before I saw them again was just short..but I just didn't like the feeling of saying goodbye...

The final paper for that day was Management Studies. To me, management wasn't my favourite subject..at all! - it was like 'Sejarah', but only that it was in English and its content was based on office politics, leadership qualities and how to be an outstanding manager. Only one word to describe it - BORING.

To be honest, I didn't put much effort into my revision for Management Studies. Perhaps it was because I knew that I've done well in my mid-term test & assignment, so I was more relaxed. Or perhaps I was already too tired & frustrated to force the never-ending information into my brain. It didn't matter. Towards the final hours of my revision, I knew that it was impossible to cover everything. I decided that I would only read what was in the 'scope'. Time was running out - and I knew it. I've considered staying up all night - not sleeping at all - to complete my revision, but in the end, I knew that doing that was not a good choice. I needed to sleep. But I did not regret for being relaxed in the beginning because it was my choice. It didn't matter. Not anymore. I would do what I could...and try my best..and leave the rest to my Father in Heaven.

The next morning, I awoke. 7am. It was raining, so I had to follow a friend with a car to campus. As I was waiting for her to pick me up, with the thick pile of Management notes in my hand and feeling nervous, I saw the most amazing thing. On one of the branches of the little tree outside my house hung a little bird's nest. I've never seen it there before..perhaps I was too busy to even notice it. And instantly, peace and tranquility filled the atmosphere around me. Before that, I was quite nervous as I knew that I've not finished my revision. But after I saw the nest, i felt different - happy and at peace - and in my heart, I thanked God and prayed for my coming exam. It was amazing to see God's creation through nature and I had a feeling that the morning would be a good morning.

And indeed, it was a good morning. I felt calm - as I was on my way to campus..sitting in the car and staring at the rain outside the window, and I was calm even when all my other friends were busy studying before the exam. It was weird. I should be panicking because of my lack of revision, but somehow, after praying, the calmness filled my entire mind. It was a good feeling. Thank you, Jesus, for helping me. It was almost time to enter the hall and I did my last-minute revision - glancing through the pages - flipping & flapping & finally, it was time. The examination paper was on my desk. I put both my hands on the paper & then I said a simple prayer. I've done my best - and the rest - I leave it to God. After the 2-hour exam, I would say that..the paper was OK..well..sure there where some question that I did not know how to do..but at least for someone that did not complete her revision, it was considered OK.. :)

When, I got back to my house, I saw the little nest again and I felt happy. Surely, my house gave the little bird a feeling of safety, if not, it wouldn't have made a nest there.

Night time came & all my friends met up to have a 'Reunion Dinner', as it was considered our last night together. Before I left the house, the nest was still there & I could see the mother bird inside. We went along and enjoyed our dinner and it was time to gather at Alex's house for 'night gathering'. Before that, I first had to go home to pack up some stuff. But when I arrived home, I could not find the nest anywhere on the tree! I searched for the nest and finally, I saw it there - lying on the ground - still and lifeless. It picked it up & got bitten by some furious red ants instead. So, I had no choice but to leave it there, on the ground & went inside to pack up. Later, I took my torchlight outside to check the nest & found that there was a tiny broken egg beside it, with red ants crawling all over it. It wasn't a pleasant sight. The mother bird had flown away & abandoned its nest. I just couldn't understand how the nest fell to the ground. There were heavy rains the night before but nothing happened. Maybe some evil cat had attacked the nest while I was at dinner. The incident was saddening. It made me feel sad.............

---It was that time of the year again. Mother's Day. It is a time when we thank our mothers & appreciate them for all that they've done for us. And I suddenly thought of the bird's nest. A safest place a person can be is to be by a mother's side. My mom raised me up. She gave up her job so that she could take care of me the best that she could. She was my best friend. She was always there when I needed her.

Dear Mom,

All that I can say is - Thank You - for all that you've done for me. Your love & your care for me is beyond words & descriptions. I know that I can never repay you for all the things that you've done for me. Having you as my mother makes me feel so safe - like the little egg in the warm and secured nest. You are the best, mom! Without you, I would probably end up like the egg that fell unto the ground - abandoned, lifeless, cold & broken. You've made me into the person that I am today & I am deeply grateful for that. I really thank God that He made you my mother, for I would not be the person that I am today if it wasn't for your guidance, care, preserverance & love.

Thank you, mummy, I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
You are my hero ~ always & forever ---------------

From,
Your daughter

Shades of Grey...

2010-04-13T02:31:00.013+08:00

~~Perhaps I've grown; perhaps I've matured a little bit more; GREY - perhaps that's the colour of life after all...is it really?~ ~

Last weekend was a great weekend.... I had a DAMN GOOD time.. =D
My friends and I decided to go for a short trip to KL...some of them needed to go for "house-hunting" as they were moving to Setapak the next sem...so the rest of us thought that it would be rather fun to go KL for some shopping, food & movies... =)

The previous weeks were really busy ones, as we had to complete all our assignments (English for Communication, Webpage Design & Management Studies) and they had to be submitted on the same day!! So, after all our hard work..Friday finally came & we passed up all our assignments...after that, we had English Assignment 3 [it was formatted like MUET to gave us exposure to the test & as a practise for our MUET in future]..really..it was a GREAT RELIEVE after submitting everything & after going through the Assignment 3..i thought it went pretty well...it was like all the weight was lifted right off our shoulders! What a good feeling, it was...... =)

So the week passed and it was Saturday...time to hit the roads of KL & have some well-deserved fun!! =D We took the 8.30am bus... but before we left, one of my friends, Alex almost got left behind!! Gosh...thank goodness he made it in time before the bus left.. the bus driver was very patient...*phew!!* Our journey continued & we arrived at KL at around 11am...there was a traffic jam while heading to Puduraya Bus Station, so we decided to walk the rest of the way as the station wasn't very far off..inside, Puduraya was packed with people..the last time I'd been there was 3 years ago..the placed didn't change much...but I noticed flat screen TV displays that were quite new...(not bad!) We then headed to Konsortium counter to buy our ticket back home.. at first, I was undecided whether to stay overnight in KL..I'd rather go home on the same day, but in the end, we decided to stay & we would be taking the 6pm bus home the next day.

After that, I followed Wen Jie, Yi Heng & Sunny to look for hotel rooms while the rest went off to go 'house-hunting'...after we got the rooms which were situated at Bukit Bintang, we went to Sungei Wang Plaza for lunch...McD again!! yummy~ later, we went across to TimeSquare for some looking around..& took some pictures..it was kinda fun.. =) Later, we met up for dinner..and decided to eat at PapaRich...and guess what..I had steamed chicken rice with beansprout...and it was the MOST expensive chicken rice I've had in my life!! RM10.90!! But well..it was delicious, so at least my money didn't get wasted for nothing.. hehe...

After dinner, it was already 9pm & it was time to head for our 'house for the night'...Sunny & I decided to stay over at Pei Wern's uncle's house for the night, while Alex would be staying at his grandmother's house in Setapak.. we took the monorail & LRT to get to Setapak...it was my 1st time taking the monorail..(i've boarded the LRT before..but that was 3 years ago..).. Sunny, Pei Wern & I had to stop at the Wangsa Maju station while Alex would stop at the next station..we arrived at Wangsa Maju at approximately 11pm...while waving Alex goodbye...we boarded off the platform & went our separate ways...the 3 of us girls walked quickly & carefully.. KL was not a place that we were familiar with.. to me, KL was a complicated place filled with dangerous people..and we were all girls who were out alone in the night..we felt uneasy & a little scared..we saw a 7-Eleven convenient store & quickly went in as it was alot safer inside...we made a call & Pei Wern'n uncle arrived shortly after....it was a relieve...

In Pei Wern's uncle's house.. we took our showers & it felt damn good!! Pei Wern's little cousins were really cute...and also kinda naughty..haha...that night, the 3 of us had our "pillow talk" even though Alex smsed us to tell us to sleep early if we felt tired, & not have our pillow talk sessions till late in the morning..but he ignored him anyway..haha!! Personally, I felt very happy that we had our pillow talk session... it was a good feeling, really...Pei Wern, it was good to chat with you & Sunny..there are actually so many things that we can chat about... it was good to laugh & share... =) After all that talking, we finally fell asleep at around 3pm & woke up the next day at 9 something...we met up with Alex at Wangsa Maju to have breakfast..(sorry for being late, Alex! nvm la..we belanja u breakfast, ya! hehehe..)..we had Wantan mee..and it was not bad, really...quite delicious!

Next, again we took the LRT & monorail to meet up with our friends...but before that, I wanted to buy an external portable hard disk...I needed to buy one.. so we stopped at Imbi station and Alex took us to Low Yat plaza...and the place was amazing!! The whole plaza sold electronics stuff! Laptops, handphones, cameras & a whole lot of computer accesorries!! WOW! so cool! I ended up buying a Seagate HDD with 5 years warranty at a very good price.. (thanks, Alex..for searching the whole plaza for a good HDD for me..i owe u!) ..

After that, we went to Timesquare to meet up with the rest of our friends..but before that, we had our lunch at KFC & then headed to the cinema for a movie at 2.50pm..we watched Clash of the Titans..and it was not bad... =) i enjoyed the movie..

After the movie, it rained heavily & we had to take the taxi to Puduraya station to head home... we left at approximately 6.20pm & reached home at 9pm...it was a tiring day...but it was really fun...I've learned alot during this weekend...and I'm very glad that we could hang out like old times...it feels like I've found something that I thought I'd lost... Thank god, for everything.. =)

This weekend, I've learned that...

*It's good to have trips every once in a while to relax ourselves...after our hard work, we deserve some rest & fun..

*However, trips can be quite costly...so we must know how to budget ourselves...

*When we are at unfamiliar places, we must always be careful...from travelling around with the monorail & LRT & walking through the streets of KL, I've learned that we must always be alert with our surroundings...take good care of our personal belongings..in KL, you can't be too kind..even if people ask for help, we should just ignore them..because we might get cheated & more seriously, get into unwanted trouble...just do our own thing and ignore other people around you.. don't stare..and don't draw unwanted attention to yourself...the big city is a complicated place with complicated people..it's best to keep a low profile...

*Shopping is a form of exercise!! Really...in KL you can shop till you drop! Keep on walking & walking & walking...everywhere...till my legs hurt!! and my bag pack was killing me! getting heavier...but thank goodness there was someone to carry it for me.. THANKS! =)

*Different people have different opinions....

*Different people have different priorities...

*It's hard to please everyone...so it's better to please ourself first.... (??)

*It feels good to be able to talk like old times... =)

*Loneliness is only how you perceive it to be... sometimes, you can be surrounded by a sea of people, and still feel all alone...or maybe sometimes, people may be beside us but their heart & their minds are somewhere else? .. Loneliness is how you perceive it to be..if you constantly think that you're lonely, then you will surely feel lonely... i guess it's a psycology thing.. and its all just how one person looks at the situation...for me, I feel so blessed because I finally realise that even though sometimes I may feel all alone, I know that I'm not alone. JESUS is always there for me..hearing my thoughts & my prayers..and He works out all things for my good...and also, there are people who love me & care about me.. they are always supporting me, caring for me & protecting me.. and i'm am deeply thankful for that... you make my day!! =)

*Sometimes, I feel that I can share anything & everything with you...and you can do the same with me...but I realise that there are certain things that, maybe I shouldn't say or ask for some reasons... maybe there are certain things that you just wouldn't tell me..maybe it's better that way..maybe it's a smatter choice? is silence better? I'm not too sure myself.......

* Sometimes, all I really need is a shoulder to lean & cry on....everything else can wait... when I feel weak and tired...that is all that I need...

*Lastly,....maybe I appear to others as "weak"....but i'm not as weak as you think i am...many things have happened, many things have changed & I've learned alot from it...i know i'm growing..& in time, i'll be stronger..i know that right now, i'm learning...learning to be stronger, more independent and more understanding - to understand myself better, to understand the people around me better.... and I feel that perhaps it's time for some changes...I've asked myself this question: Would I change? ...yes, I would change - to be a better person - for the people who I love, for the people who love me; and most importantly, for myself...at least I would try... =)

~~Yeah, some moments..I have the feeling that life comes in shades of grey... it used to be easier and simpler before - it was a time when I was younger, naive & dependent... there were less things to think about... it was time when life was in black and white...easy to differentiate between the two.. black is black & white is white... but sometimes now it seems grey.. where black & white have mixed and its sometimes hard to differentiate between black & white...what's right and what's wrong? what's true & what's false? what should be done & what shouldn't be?.....sometimes, there are no clear answers...but only vague ideas and opinions...

Perhaps I've grown; perhaps I've matured a little bit more; GREY - perhaps that's the colour of life after all...is it really?

NO. Life is more then just a shade of grey... it's the special people and experiences in my life that make my life colourful...it's the people and experiences in my life that paint my life with all the beautiful colours of the rainbow... friends, family & loved-ones.... always cherish them & cherish the time spent together...because time flies & we grow old too fast!! (I've been celebrating too many birthdays lately...and everyone's getting older..hehe..and i'm not excluded..gonna get older soon..too soon...) =D ~~

***I had a damn great time, and I know that there'll be greater times in the near future!! =)

Roleplay Rehearsal~

2010-03-24T11:16:00.028+08:00

On Monday afternoon after Webpage Design lecture had ended, my groupmates and I had our English for Communication Roleplay rehearsal the behind 'old library'....

Our assignment task was to roleplay a meeting scene where we (the selected committee members of the Human Resource Department) were meeting up to organise a company trip.

Among the items of our discussion were:

~date of the trip

~destination

~action(s) required-who was responsible

~budget

~and etc...

There were 6 people in my group namely Alex Yip Pak Hong, Lim Yu Tai, Shio Soon Yi, Liaw Kai Jun, Ooi San Nee and myself. The roles to be played were the Chairperson, Secretary, Treasurer and committee members.... unfortunately....forcefully...I was selected to be the chairperson...haih... Sunny was the secretary & Alex (Sunny's husband..haha!) was the treasurer...(He is very concerned about money...hehe!) So, we had to come up with a plan....what to say and who to say it.... obviously, we had to come up with a script.... But the most annoying part was that our lecturer did not allow us to bring the script with us during the play.... we could only bring our stationary and new blank paper would be given on that very day - WHAT A PAIN IN THE BUTT!!! That meant that we had to memorise our script....ARGHH... and we had our Management Studies midterm test on the same day!!! OMG...there was too much to memorise already...information overload~~ No offense; but personally I feel that the play was kinda silly...and fake...but well...since we has to do it no matter what...so I'll just play around with it~

So there we were with our scripts in our hands....while some were viewing it from their laptops...all pretending to be business people..with a cat as our spectator..(HAHA!)..bla bla bla bla bla bla....BLAH.....and the stopwatch was set.... ( the meeting had to last for at least 15mins...but not more than 20mins....this condition made the play even more annoying!!) ...and more blah-ing.......and in the end...we did not hit 15 mins...apparently, our "meeting" was too short....but we added in a couple of minutes for the "uhhsss" and the "aahhhss" and time spent when we "forget" our parts during that day...and we decided...ahhh..who cares la...whatever liao la.... It was pretty fun and wu liao...so I decided to take some picture for remembrance... =)

~ The VIP guest / spectator : The Cat ~

~ it's a nice-weathered day, the sky is blue, with puffy white clouds floating by... =)

~ Sunny is soooooooo happy & excited about the roleplay ~ hahaha!

Yu Tai : "I sure no problem for 2moro's roleplay ah! hah!! 2moro I wear formal sure damn 'yeng'..."

~ as you can see....we are very busy people... businessmen ahh~

Joyce: Alex.... what r u trying to do??

Alex: I'm too wu liao until decided to do some exercise..haha~

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Me & Sunny ~ =)

-------------->> Hey kitty~ ~

Kai Jun: " Let me introduce u to my girlfriend...I love her so much...." HAHA!!

Soon Yi: " I totally agree with your proposal...........!!

Yu Tai: " I'm sorry to interrupt....but i'm afraid............."

Alex: " Haih....no eye see ahhh..............."

Kai Jun: I have the best seat in the house, man!

--------->> wah lao...Alex ahh...so relax?? 2moro's the roleplay d wor...not scared meh?

Alex: "Haiyahh....won't die de lahh.... if want to sleep just sleep lahh....relax...."

Soon Yi: "wah lao..today damn hot....." (actually he's trying to hide fr the camera!)

--->> Alex: "Pls don't take my picture lahh...if not I'll think that I'm too handsome d..." (OMG.....errrr...)

Sunny: "haiyoh...Joyce ahh..stop taking pictures d lah...U shud be like me... see... i'm focused on the rehearsal....."

Joyce: " Yes, mom!!"

Yu Tai: " Enough liao la, Joyce.... I know I very 'en tao' but u dun have to take so many pictures of me de ma....."

Joyce: " Errrr............. ---speechless--- =.='

Cat: " What the.......... no eyes see.........."

Soon Yi: " yo yo yo~~ "

Sunny: "boom boom pow......"

Tuesday --- roleplay time... we had a final rehearsal again at the old library.... go far, so good....

We entered class and we waited for our turns with cold hands & cold feet.....afraid that we would forget our scripts....Then it was time to play our roles...." Good afternoon.........bla bla bla".......... we each played our parts.....and then suddenly after I've said my line..... [silence]......tik tok tik tok........ooops...someone had forgotten what to say & the conversation had hit a bump on the road...it can't flow anymore....so as the chairperson I had to say something - anything....to keep the topic going....so ..."bla bla bla.....???" ok......but now we didn't follow the script anymore...whatever came to our minds...just shoot ba......and it was not a scripted roleplay anymore..it was really an impromptu meeting then...... wow.....really can get heart attack ah! But we did it....and finally we reached 16 mins....and the teacher had no questions for us as we've covered all the topics that she intended to ask...muahahaha.... =P Not bad de ma...for an impromptu meeting... yeahh.... =)

Later----- Management Studies midterm test from 6.30-7.30pm.... keep on reading and reading....and memorising... information overload liao.... so....6.30pm--went in the hall.....went in for 30 mins war...and then came out....... comments? erm.....not bad ler...kua....haha... =P woohoooo!! roleplay & test all settled in one day..... FREEDOM!!!!!! Hopefully everything turns out well for all of us... and all the best to my friends who will be roleplaying on friday! =)

~Another original piece by JTSM~ >.<

As Time Slips Away...

2010-03-17T17:54:00.006+08:00

As time continues to slip away.....

I start to think.

I start to wonder.

I start to feel.

I start to recall.

I start to notice.

I start to realize.

I start to see.

I start to understand.

I start to try - to try to remember - and keep it in my memory...never to forget, never to let go... of all the good & happy times we've had together.

Sometimes, the ticking of the clock seems to get faster & faster. Time is running out. Tik tok-tik tok....

Yesterday----> went out to Kampar Old Town with Alex & Yu Tai... riding on the back of the motorbike made me recall the first time I rode on a motorbike..which was in sem 1...Alex was the driver...just like the first time...nothing much has changed. He was still a careful driver...but definitely this time he rode faster....maybe its because he was worried that he might scare me if he rode too fast the first time....hahaha...we rode along the main road and decided to pump some gas...it was like that first time again, too. That time..we also stopped for gas...and I remember when Alex found out that the motorbike license was expired when he lifted up the seat!!! haha...how funny...it all seemed so familiar...like time was repeating itself...It was nice in a funny way...but somewhere..deep inside..i recognised the feeling of sadness...for I know that the opportunity for this repetition was numbered - limited. After that...we continued our journey & I saw the signboard that wrote "Hospital Kampar" - it made me rethink of past memories too...I've never been to a hospital due to any serious sickness or injuries..but who knew - 2nd sem here I had to go to the "Unit Kecemasan" after having a minor accident..haha.. and also...there was another accident...that was more serious than mine... flashbacks: the time spent at the hospital...the emotions felt...and the incidents that happened after that.................. The pain. The blood. The wounds. The scars. The care. The support...and even the lies that I have to tell my parents so that they wouldn't worry about me....thinking back about it makes me laugh... Soon, we passed Pizza Hut.. and I recalled the time spent there... playing UNO, eating pizza & the non-stop refilling of pepsi..haha... those were good times. Later we had breakfast...I had wantan mee & a glass of milo...while Alex & Yu Tai had something else..(I don't really know what its called, though..haha..) but i remember Alex giving me a piece of pig-skin-fat and asked me to try it....I did...and it tasted weird to me..lol...Alex mentioned that nowadays..since this sem he rarely comes to old town...compared to last time, where he would have breakfast there during the weekends...I asked him why...and he said it was because no one wanted to go...previously, we usually went to old town together, as a group...but then he said that things became different after the accident.. I was like "you mean my accident??" and he said "yeahh.." ..and i later found out that he did not want ot call us out to old town because he felt kinda guilty about my accident...but here, I just wanna say.. it's all ok, Alex Yip..there is no need to feel guilty at all...and you can ask me to go old town for breakfast next time..coz i do like having breakfast there...going to the market area kinda reminds me of home...and it feels good to get out of the house sometimes, you know....
it was a really good breakfast..i finish everything...and that was good because I can't eat much in the morning...so it was not bad, really.... next, we headed to Public Bank... yes, indeed...time was repeating itself again.... that first time..I'd accompanied Alex to re-make his ATM card as well... and now, here we were again...going 2 re-make his ATM card..haha! So, we went in...and he went to make his cash deposit to pay for his student bill while Yu Tai & I hung around... after that, we took a number & waited for our turn...Alex was assigned to counter 9 and requested for his ATM card application...however, the officer there found out that he was a UTAR student & asked him to make the card in UTAR as they have a bank outlet in our University....so....he decided not to apply for it...don't know why...but i think its because he's not sattisfied with the Public Bank's customer's service..haha! Chill, Alex~

Later in the evening... I went to pasar malam with a bunch of friends...and we planned to have our dinner by the lakeside afterwards...so we quickly bought our food. The skies overhead looked dark with clouds that were grey and heavy...hmm..not a good sign.. a sign of rain. But after our deliberation, we still went anyway - and guess what..as soon as we got there..it started to rain!! Yup...it was just a slight drizzle..but the winds were getting stronger by the minute. And soon after that, it started to rain heavily...there was water everywhere and thank goodness there was a little shelter for us to hide in...phew~ so there we were - eating our dinner and talking nonsense while waiting for the rain to stop...although it wasn't exactly comfortable... but i felt that I had a pretty good time...i mean...how many times in my life would i be trapped in the rain, by the lakeside, while having a burger and chatting about silly things and laughing like mad with a bunch of goofy friends? .. to make things funnier, i thought that getting stuck there was sort of romantic...hahaha!!! but all in all, it was a good experience...even though the rain did annoy me at one time.. =P

The clock ticks again. Tik-tok tik-tok. It won't ever stop. The hands of the clock only move clock-wise, never anti clock-wise. Never in reserve. Never turning back. Ever. It only continues to move on...move forward...slipping away in the midst our everyday activities...perhaps we're even too busy to realize or notice it. Really... How many more times can we really hang out together like old times? How many more times can we walk in through the doorway of that lecture hall together? How many more times can we sit together, side by side in that class? How many more times can we laugh till our tummies ache.. together? How many more times can we just sit on the roof and chat till the early hours of the morning? How many more times can we explore the university again, together? How much more time do we actually have together? Time. It is slipping away.... even as the words are typed, said and heard.......

~Time. It waits for no man. It does not wait for u...nor me.....so.... the best that I can do is to not think too much about it...and just cherish the time left together. ~

---When my time comes
Forget the wrongs that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
When you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest

Leave out all the rest... ---

~JTSM~

Random...

2010-02-21T21:28:00.002+08:00

Buzzzzz---buzzzz---buzzzz---there goes that alarm!! I hit the stop button and was happy with the silence after that. I woke up to a bright and warm sunday...yup..definitely bright...the sunlight was beckoning me to wake up-literally!! But I was too lazy to get out of bed...so I wrap the soft and cozy blanket around me, above me..while I continued to hide in its shadows.... But after a few peaceful minutes...another alarm woke me up from my slumber. Guess who. My dad. It was time to wake up..and.............................the moment I moved my legs--------------WOW.
Really..congratulations & celebrations to me~~ my legs hurt like........hurt like......well....hurt like I've been running non-stop for more than 1 kilometer and walking non-stop with my mom at Queensbay Mall for more than 2 hours-because that was exactly what I did yesterday. I did some serious jogging with my dad..and it was good....[except for the part when I woke up and my legs hurt so much. Ouch!] But I wasn't the only one..my dad felt it too..hahaha!! so..congratulations to both of us...lol... =D

Later I had breakfast with my mom and my dad..and it was good. After that, we headed into the church. Wow. It felt really good to be in church. It was refreshing...like a breath of fresh air! It was nice to sing and pray and feel free... =) All in all, it was good.

Then, it was lunch time and later I went shopping with my dad. Went DVD hunting again. =) and I'm happy to get the series that I wanted...woohoo~

Dinner time came and went....it was delicious! =)

Right now........the atmosphere is filled with the sound of firecrackers and fireworks again. It's the 8th night of CNY.....there's some ceremony going on outside....and well..my dog..as usual is scared again...haha..she's right beside me as I'm typing the words...how cute and funny!! haha..i always laugh at her when she hides from the firecrackers...[ and I think she knows I'm laughing at her...haha!!..].....

That's all for now~~ fyi..blogging is also one way to kill time..and also..to keep in touch with friends.. =)

----the most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling...and even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it! ..so smile! =) ----

To Kill Time...

2010-02-17T11:42:00.004+08:00

Time. It's a weird thing. It can seem to pass so fast..too fast, sometimes. But it can seem to past so slow, sometimes. Maybe it's because I've stopped what I've been doing routinely..so now time seem to past slower. Perhaps it's because there's nothing much to do at home. But, anyways..it's healthy to get a good rest after working hard for a long time..long time? well..16 weeks of studying can sound like a long time..but now, looking back..it sure feels like a short time to me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately...and it's good. It's healthy to think deep sometimes-to reflect on the things that I've done and work on what to do next... I also look forward to going 2 church this weekend. I do miss church. I miss worshiping and singing... It feels like I haven't been to a church in a long time. There're some decisions that I need to make..and I need God's guidance. Looking back.... I've really come a long way since high school... well..there's still a long way (super long..) to go... and I can't do this alone. But it's all so far, so good. And I really thank Jesus for helping me along the way... people may hurt us, sometimes... but it's good to know that God is there..behind my back to make me think rationally and act rationally...reminding me of what's right..and what's wrong.

It feels weird that I'm not cycling back here in Penang... starting to feel a little passive. Haha.. I seriously need some exercise! I seriously need to find things to do to kill the time.

Reading seems like a very good option. The only problem is getting the right book.

Watching tv is perfect! But the major problem is.. there are NOT MANY nice tv shows around to watch these days.. (how disappointing & frustrating!).. the shows on astro keep on repeating..and the show's are kinda substandard...low quality shows.. that it has come to the point where it's almost painful to sit in front of the tv screen! But well..sometimes..I just sit thru with it....to past the time.

Sleeping. Probably one of the best ways to kill time. Yeah. I do need to catch up on my sleep. I've been sleep deprived ever since uni life started...well actually..I've not been getting enough sleep since high school started!! It's probably time to cure my Panda-eye-tis... hahaha!!!

Next..cleaning the house and going marketing with my mom...yup. That's is also a great way to kill time. I'm telling you..cleaning the house can take up quite alot of a person's time! and..it's also good exercise..and my mom would be soooo happy... =) and thinking that I won't be able to help her when i'm studying...so..it's really time that I helped around, now that I have the opportunity....maria-ing...it's a good living skill too..ESPECIALLY FOR THE GUYS!! Hello!! Wake up call...I'm telling you.. wanna know if a guy has personal hygiene? Check out his room for once!! It can be so.......oh...what's the word?...untidy? dirty? disgusting? ....it can be so MAN...(so man...that u might faint?!) haha!

And also..I should probably update and do some house keeping for my computer. Everything's all over the place. The files are pretty messy and jumbled up. And sometimes I can't even find the file that I want! Argh...sien... I seriously need to organise this mess... and this takes..ALOT of time.. great!! =) and also..Thank God for internet! =P

Lastly...playing with my dog. Lady. She is also looking for someone to play with. HAHA..and also, she is FAT. She needs to burn some calories! So..playing with her makes me happy..and it makes her happy too! =)

Back Home~~

2010-02-12T17:21:00.006+08:00

Finally, I'm back in Penang for 3 weeks... =)

The 2nd sem finally came to an end on 8th Feb...16 weeks have passed by since the last time i came back... 16 weeks! really??..but it feels like it was just yesterday I stepped into the 1st lecture class for sem 2...

All I can say is...many things happened...some things..i wish i'll forget in time.. some things..i don't want to forget..some things...i wished it never happened. But that's life isn't it? Life- is not always a smooth sailing..it is indeed a ship travelling through an ocean of calm, and sometimes, stormy waters too. But we don't let the negative things get us down, do we? We go thru it.. and once we're pass that period of storm..we become stronger, wiser...and view life from a bigger picture. That's life. It's about learning--learning to accept. learning to reject. learning to grow. learning to change. learning to hold on. learning to let go. learning to forgive. learning to love. learning to live. We can't change the past. But we can make the best out of the present and improve the future. =)

One thing I've learned is that..forgiveness...doesn't come easy. It's not easy to be forgiven. Sometimes..it's hard to find the strength to forgive. But I pray..look to God..and I find the answer...God did not judge me..God did not judge us-humans. He sacrificed his Son for me, for us. And so, who am I to judge other people based on their past? No. I shouldn't. I should not judge other people based on what they've done. What matters is the present. And I find peace and I draw strength from that thought. Things don't always go the way we want them to..but the most important thing is to make the best out of everything that we have. =)

Today is the eve of chinese new year eve..which means...everyone's gonna be damn busy. Especially the people involved with the food preparations..people like my mom. So, its time to help out around the house...cleaning..preparing, baking.....bla bla bla....u know..the usual stuff... the roads of Penang are terribly jammed...so jammed that it makes me feel like not going out at all! Everyone's rushing for that last minute shopping...so I'd rather stay at home and watch some lousy tv shows..(even though they're lousy)...haha..and avoid the traffic!

Well..it's good to be back. It's good to be home. It's good to be together again, with my family. It's just good to have something to look forward to. =) As this year passes by.. I'm glad to have experienced all that I've been thru..everything. No regrets. No turning back. So, let's move ahead to the new year with new resolutions, new motivations, new attitude, and new perspectives ..all leading us to become a better person, altogether. =)

HAPPY CNY to EVERYONE!!! Best wishes from me!
God Bless You...

~Joyce TSM~

The coming of another end...

2010-01-24T14:14:00.003+08:00

Another sem is officially coming to an end... study week has begun and we're all now starting to get really busy preparing for our final exam..

I don't think i'll be blogging until i get back to Penang.. that time it would be so near CNY!! yeeaahh!! =)

Just wanna say All The Best to all my friends for their sem 2 final exam! Gambateh! =)

The Final of the final.......

2010-01-04T09:59:00.002+08:00

OK..I know I haven't been updating my blog much lately...I've been really busy...

The past few weeks have been.....well...how do I describe it?...It has been very fun, exciting but also extremely tiring, frustrating...and sometimes kinda uncomfortable.... but I guess that's life. We learn from every little experience, making us wiser and stronger everyday...

The week before Christmas was fun. I finally got to watch New Moon! The movie was not bad, really...yeaaahh... =) There was only one car available but 8 people wanted to go...so, thanks to my very determined friends...they took turns to drive double trips to Ipoh. Thanks, Alex and Jia Zhen for making that trip possible... =) I was in the xmas mood that week before xmas---felt happy to receive xmas gifts from special friends.. thank you, so much... I really liked them. Then, after that weekend..my friends were busy with their talkshow...went to 'kepo' during their rehearsal...their presentation was really funny..great job, you guys! I enjoyed it..laughed non-stop!! [until stomach ache..] =)

Then, Christmas week came. The degree students have all gone home. And my house was practically empty!! Not only my house--the whole residential area here is pretty empty, I would say. When night time came, silence filled the house, and the street outside was dark and scary... It felt strange... like suddenly it was too quiet..too dark...too alone. Before that, I was kinda looking forward to xmas............but well, at that time I was having second thoughts--maybe I should have gone back. Maybe that would have been a better choice. I was missing home, somehow...It was my first christmas away from home...I've been here for awhile now, haven't gone back since the new sem started. Why didn't I decided to go back when my mom asked me to go home? Perhaps--I wanted to challenge myself to see if I could endure through the entire sem without going home. Trying to be stronger, less dependant on my parents..maybe..but was I really up to it?..the xmas season really made me miss home...more than any other time so far. But nothing could be done. I've made up my mind..and I intended to stand by it. It really was a lonely christmas. But, thank you so much, Sunny for coming to sleep over and accompany me. We had a simple countdown..I really appreciate it. Christmas wasn't that bad after all! =D and thanks to all the others, wen jie, for bringing me xmas songs with speakers! haha! =) [His speakers are still in my room, now! haha!]

The weekend after Christmas..things got better...kinda like it got back to normal.. =) My friend slept over at my house for the whole week...it was fun..something new.. I'm really happy to get to know her better...to understand her better...and once again, thanks, Sunny for your company and support throughout this whole time..and also thanks to the people that helped me out with my revision during that week... [the two 'Hwang Lao Shi"..haha..] ..

This weekend..WOW. Extremely Busy Weekend. The most busy weekend so far. I don't understand it, really. How can we be so busy when my team's Problem Solving & Programming (PSP) [not Play Station Portable!!] assignment was almost done?! Doesn't make sense. The c-programming code, flowchart and pseudocode was revised, checked and compared over and over again... but the more we checked, the more errors were found, and the more changes had to be made... My team was becoming mad, in the literal sense of the word!! I mean really...mad, crazy, loco, siao.....mental breakdown!! Not only my group..but the other group... everyone was 'pek chek' ...all going siao... For a few nights, now...my house has become the campsite for PSP assignment...hahaha! The table outside would be occupied with laptops, music blaring from the speakers..and my room would be fully occupied...and after last night..or you could say this morning...finally it is officially OVER!!! YEAAHH!! Really, this time it is the final of the final. It was an internal joke. Because, we have different names for different assignment files. After so many corrections and alterations have been made, we named our files like 'the most perfect in the world'--'the final'--'completed'--'the most completed'--'the final of the final'....... but then we realised.. we shouldn't say that it's 'the final of the final'....because there will surely be alterations until the second we pass it up. We shoud say 'the final of the final-for now.' HAHA!! It was so funny... =P

But last night, really the assignment was very intense. We finally decided to use my printer to print out the hardcopy. Thanks to my printer, for being well-behaved. Hehehe... =) My groupmates and my friends in the other group slept really late. I was sleeping by 4am..and some of them even stayed until 6am, I heard. And finally we've all completed our job. It was really a very tiring task... No. Not very tiring. It's DAMN tiring. But to me, somehow...it had some fun in it. There were times, in the middle of all the 'pek chek-ness'...we laughed till we were almost mad...[maybe we were really already mad!]...and through all this---I've seen great kindness in people.. I really admire their spirit. Even though it was the very last minute, and everyone was extremely tired and sleepy but they still helped the ones that were stucked...I can proudly say that we held on...and yeah...we've managed to accomplish our task..to the best that it could and ever can be. Great job, guys!! All of us deserve a pat on the shoulder..a good scream and a good night's rest after today. It was fun having you guys over at my house. =)

~~Really. It's the final of the final d... hahaha!! =D

Holding On......

2009-12-14T00:36:00.010+08:00

2 weeks ago... my friends and I had our 3rd trip to Ipoh.. this time, we planned to go to TGV cinemas to watch 2012 and New Moon together..... I was really looking forward to it as I really wanted to watch New Moon....the most anticipated movie of the year!!---But well, in the end, we only managed to watch 2012 (luckily we booked tickets!)...as New Moon tickets were all sold out!...Haih..what a disappointment!---But its okay..2012 was great too! =)

But before the movie, I did some clothes shopping with my friends...it was fun! Be model for the day..hahaha....really my first time..... =) After that, one of my friends belanja us Secret Recipe cakes..damn delicious~~ =) ...and we went for McD after that... while another "couple" went to Kenny Roger's...muahahaha.. and another 2 people went to be "light bulb"!!! haihz.. so bright arhh..voltage damn high! I wonder why they didn't explode?!!..LOL!!

After that, we went for the movie. Comments on the movie? Well..the effects were great..but I was kinda disappointed with the storyline though... I was interested in the Mayan mystery..but little..almost nothing about the Mayan calendar was revealed.. and also, I felt that the beginning was a little boring...and everything happened too fast after that.....But besides that, the rest was not bad, really....at least it was touching enough to make me cry---hahaha! The movie also made me think about certain things. Ethics. In the movie, the government kept the whole thing a secret! They built arks..or special ships to ensure the survival of humanity. But the thing is--- who gets saved??! In the end..only the filty rich got saved..(they paid $1 billion for the ship ticket!)..and also political figures and scientists got a chance to saves themselves. Is this fair? Hmm..interesting issue to debate about. But what touched me the most was the bond between a family. There was one scene where a scientist and his family did not get 'picked up' by the rescue team...they were suppposed to be on board the ship..but somehow..they never did. The waves came and that little family-the husband, his wife and their son--embraced each other and waited for the end.....their end. Really, when the end of the world happens, the only ones we can trust and hold on to is our loved ones..... They would risk their life for you...even if it meant that they would die.... That's what family is all about. That's what true love is all about.

After that, we had dinner at the usual restaurant again. It was fun! --we found a worm in one of the vegetable dishes..and the people there changed us a brand new plate! hahaha.. how funny! because before that, we were joking about worms..and suddenly a live worm came crawling on our plate! wahh lao...damn funny......LOL...

These few weeks....hmm...what can I say? I can just say this: Many things happened. Sometimes, it happens so suddenly that I feel like being slapped in the face. Sometimes, I felt like drowing in it....somethings have changed....some changes are good...but I don't know about the rest.... In short, many things happened. Some sad. Some happy. But--I'm really happy that the 'happy' times have cancelled out the sad times. There are changes in relationships. There are changes in thinking. There are changes in opinions. Change. It happens all the time. It happens whether you notice it or not. It happens wether you like it or not. Change just happens. We change all the time. But the only question is--do we change for the better, or for the worse? That--is the question that only ourself can answer.

Assignments. Tests. Homework. And other issues. They can be very overwhelming.....
I admit. There were times when I felt like crying. Felt like drowning in the ocean of emotions. Felt like giving up. Felt like I've reached my limit. But I knew that I couldn't. I knew that I had to be strong--stronger than I've ever been in my entire life. This is the time to stand firm and hold on to that very last grip of consciousness....................
And going through all that-----I'm proud to discover that....hey, I can actually go beyond my limit! My limits have been stretched. Its more elastic now. And I discovered that I'm stronger than I've ever been before. Going through all this--I've discovered more about myself. Besides that, I'm also very glad and thankful that while going through this, I've found true friends..and people that truly provide me strength, support and care. Thank you all, so much, for your advice, your support... and positive charge! =)

I've also learned that its really not an easy task to be a leader. A leader has a huge responsibility. A leader has to take care of all the members. A leader has to sacrifice. A leader can't just be a leader---a true leader has to be a team player. But sometimes, the leader is the one that suffers the most...gets criticised the most...and maybe even, her effort isn't much appreciated or perhaps..considered not up to the standard of the teammates. Perhaps, I'm not the best leader. But, having faced the different reactions of people in my team, I've really learned alot. And if I ever have the chance to be leader again...someday...I know I would have improved and be a better one. No matter what, thank you, for giving me this chance...and I really appreciate all of your effort...and my apologies if I've said or done anything wrong. No heart feelings, ya! As long as we've tried and given our best effort, shouldn't we just enjoy the rest of it? =)

----Although these few weeks have been rough...but I'm very happy to have discovered so many new things..and learn many new lessons. We never stop learning. And that's the interesting part of life. Everyday is a new day. Just live it as it comes. And even if the world ends tomorrow...I have no regrets...I will thank God because he is always guiding me in my life...and helping me to meet the right people--beloved family & true friends that have helped me so much........ *smiles!!* =) But the most important thing that I've learned is that--never lose myself in the sea of happenings, no matter how challenging the situation may get. Always know who I am. Always know my limit..and explore its boundaries. Always cherish the people that I care about. Life is too short, live it to the max! =)

Quote--the moment we stop fighting for each other is the moment we lose all humanity--2012.

~~Even is the universe explodes, the ocean evaporates, my only wish is that you'll have my embrace in your memory~~

PS: I still wanna watch New Moon!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!

Memories That Can Never Be Erased II

2009-11-30T01:30:00.004+08:00

After that, the residents from the nearby houses and other football players from the field came to help us out...We had to search for his things..I stood there, motionless..eyes still filled with water..feeling scared and colder than I've ever been in my entire life. Sunny was beside me, arms around my shoulders..feeling warm and solid. I wiped the tears away, and I suddenly saw it - the black rectangular box, his handphone. I reached for it. Then, we tried to call his family but apparently, there was no more credit in his phone! ( no credit at a time like this!!..haihz..Yi Heng arr..always top up your hp, pls! =P) But we managed to inform his family. Kai Jun, the calmest among us was the one that helped the most. He took control while we were all helpless.

After that, a friend who had a car took us to the hospital. News arrived, saying that he was conscious and was inside the emergency ward. We reached the hospital and then all we could do was wait. His belongings was handed to him.. and the first ease of relieve came when he smsed me from the emergency room saying that he's ok and there was no need to worry. And he even asked me about his bicycle!! (worried about his bicycle, when he is injured!~~) After that, one of the health officers asked who was the one that was nearest to him during the accident, and my friends pointed to me. I explained the whole situation with my emotions in control, now that I was feeling better. But reliving the memory was not an easy thing to do, really....

Later, he was wheeled out on a chair and was quickly brought into the x-ray room. He looked okay, his head bandaged and there were some cuts on his arm. My friends went to buy us some dinner (bread) while a bunch of his friends waited for him at the waiting area. After that, he was quickly taken away. By that time, it was already past 10pm...and his relatives from Ipoh said a big thank you and send us on our way home...We were all so tired, hungry, wet and stinky! -- as we did not even have time for a shower! We went to the mamak store and had a proper dinner (or supper) and headed home. That night I couldn't sleep, although I was damn tired. The moment I closed my eyes, the images would flash across my mind--his last words-the bang-the sight of him on the ground-the red blood flowing from his head and wetting the ground beneath it----------

The next morning, we went to the hospital.. I walked in slowly..and when I saw him, he looked more fragile than before. The damages could be clearly seen. 5 stitches on his head. A fractured colar-bone. A badly cut calf. And no exercise for 6 months. Its hard seeing him like that. Fragile, weak...I felt like if I touched him, he would break into pieces. He was among the funniest and bubbliest member of our gang.. It just didn't feel right to see him like that. It was hard to breathe. Later, I was asked to retell the story of how it happened. I really didn't want to speak about it. But I knew sooner or later, I had to tell the story. I owed it to him. And I promised that I would. But for time being, I needed some time. We stayed untill it was time to leave and we went to Pizza Hut nearby. We had a good time there. We played UNO and drank unlimited Coca-Cola. The cheery atmosphere helped to lift my spirits a little. It rained again and we were stuck at the store, so we continued to play UNO until it stopped. We went back to the hospital and accompanied him until 8.30pm. The day passed just like that and we went for 'yam cha' at the mamak store again. Night time came again. The sleeping did not get any better. I would really become a living zombie if this continued...I needed sleep.

Next day. Sunday. He was allowed to discharge from the hospital and we went to visit him at home. His family was there..and we ate fruits. I knew I could not escape today. I would have to tell the story--and I had to tell it in mandarin! But I did it.. and his sister says my mandarin is not bad??!.. LOL..that's so funny... He insisted on attending lab class the next day. He was really optimistic about the whole thing.. it was as if nothing ever happened. He was still as happy as he was before...the only difference was that he had an arm sling...On Monday morning, he really attended class--and with a new hair-cut! --total makeover!!--really couldn't recognise him..haha! =P

The days that followed were not very good for me..the nights were even worse. I was becoming a zombie. The images were too vivid..it was like it was tatooed on my brain or something... I just couldn't shut it out...and looking at him only makes the memory clearer. I chose to be silent about the incident...and I felt like drowning in it. But I knew I had to be strong. Me being emo just isn't helping anyone at all. There are more important things to handle. Someone else needs our help at the moment. One night during that week, a friend came over and we suddenly sat down and started talking. I took courage to share the story that I've been trying so hard to keep.. and I felt alot better after that. I had to get some sleep. I needed to know why I felt the way I felt. Perhaps I felt a little guilty? If I'd insisted on asking him to go home without us..maybe this whole accident wouldn't have happened?? And also, it could have been me lying on the ground..I was just right next to him. Perhaps that was why the incident impacted me so much? And letting some of the tension out really did help me sleep better that night. Thank you, Wen Jie...(u know, u really can consider psycology for ur degree course!! =P) After that, I realised that I shouldn't feel guilty..because it couldn't have been avoided. It was a wake up call. Its useless to wallow in the guilt..There were other more important, useful things to do. All I knew then was that I'll do what I can do to help him, because he helped me when I was in trouble.... it's time to return the favour.

Nobody wants an accident. But to see the positive side of things, this 2 accidents really made me think alot. From it, I can identify the ones that care about me. I realise that everybody needs somebody..no matter how strong we are. I also notice that incidents like these brings us closer together, when we're in a time of need and the people around us provide us with the support, courage and help that we need. We don't feel so alone anymore when we're surrounded by friends. Friends that really care. I've also learned alot from these incidents. I really admire my friends. Kai Jun, for being so calm and able to take control of the situation..I'm sorry that I couldn't help at the time..I will learn from this experience. And most of all Yi Heng, I've learned that no matter what problems we face, it all depends on how we look at it..I admire your spirit and your courage. Lastly, this incident made me realise that life really is short. The world that we know today might end tomorrow, and we must appreciate all that we have. Live life without regrets and live it to the fullest.

~~This post is dedicated to all my friends, including all my friends back in Penang --THANKS, for helping me in so many ways~~

Memories That Can Never Be Erased I

2009-11-30T00:06:00.006+08:00

Its Monday. Again. But this monday is unique, unlike any other. This is the day that I finally decide to blog again..to share this experience..after a month of silence - the month where the most events, so far in my life, happened.

I'll first rewind and start from the beginning. A week after my 2nd trip to Ipoh.. my friends and I went to a waterfall near Kampar Oldtown. I would just go through this story briefly; I promise to elaborate on it in the near future. It rained a little that morning. And we were all deciding - to go or not to go? But in the end, we decided to go for it. The journey up the hill was very tiring as the road was steep, demanding our strength and stamina. But I managed to make it to the top..and it was satisfying to see the rushing water and greenery all around. The water was as cold as ice as I dipped my feet into the flowing water. I did not plan to get wet at all as I just wanted a feet dip..but my friends splashed me with the water and so---what the hell? since I'm already wet, I might as well go for a little swim. We had a good time there.. making fun and enjoying mother nature... But who knew--on the way back..I had abit of an accident. But not to worry..its nothing major! Just minor, really... But no matter what, I would really like to thank my friends..you guys really took care of me and helped me alot. You guys really made me feel that getting injured isn't that bad after all--I got treated like a big boss! =) THANK YOU, once again. Especially Kai Jun, Alex, Yi Heng, Soon Yi, Sunny and Pei Wern... I really appreciate it..this good deed will always be in my memory---never to be erased, forever---Besides that, I also realised that I am strong, and I can endure certain things in life..this incident, although was a painful one, helped me to notice my hidden ability-to know more about myself-to know my friends better-and to appreciate the people who care.. =)

Next, the following day after we visited the waterfall-- 3 Utarians were reported to have died there. The news struck me like lighting. The mere thought of it was scary and saddening. It was only yesterday that we were there..at that same spot where the 4 people (1 survivor) were enjoying themselves. But they went there at the wrong time, and were swept away by the cruel, furious current after a heavy downpour. I felt sad, scared..but most of all I felt really, really thankful to God. It's hard to imagine how the parents of the victims feel.. all their hopes and dreams resting on the shoulders their precious child-gone, crushed into a million pieces in the blink of an eye. It could have been us. It could have been me. And I'm just so grateful to be breathing..right here, right now.....

2 weeks after that.. it was a fine-weathered Friday. Its hard to get a fine-weather evening nowdays as it rains almost everyday here..especially in the evening. My friends and I all agreed to have a game of frisbee that very evening. The game started at about 5.45 pm at the 'pasar malam' field. The rules of the game were explained again to those that were still blur on how to play the game. After 2 rounds of warming up.. the official match finally began. The flying saucer was tossed high and low, far and near...the rush of excitement was all I could think about..all eyes were on the yellow plate--hands and feets coordinating, set in motion to bring victory to the team. My team lost the first half..we later reshuffled our teams and my team won the 2nd time around.. Later we played 'pepsi-cola'..wah liao..I didn't play this game since primary school..and how funny that I played it again in University!! hahaha!! all my friends are very siao one.. =P
It was getting late..and it was time to go home as the dark clouds beyond the sky forecasted an approaching storm... besides that, the guys wanted to go to A-Station for 'indoor-exercise' (an inside term for playing computer games..LOL)..

The evening seemed to end almost perfectly...but like I said, almost. One of us cycled off to the side of the road.. waiting for us to gather up and leave.. but one of my friend's motorbike couldn't start...I saw him at the far end..waiting under the shadow of the trees..and I suddenly have the urge to tell him to go on without us first..we would be right behind him. So, I cycle up to him and told him to go home first. But as usual, he replied, "It's okay, I'll wait for u guys.." and in the next second, I heard a loud bang, I could feel the rush of wind against my skin and then he was there--on the ground. What the hell just happened?!! I had no idea. I was there--locked on the bicycle.. confused, shocked and scared all at once. The rush of emotions made me helpless.. my body wanted to rush to his side to do something but my mind was just as blank as a sheet of white paper!!! After the longest few seconds of my life, reality set in, and I knew what had happened. By that time, he was having a seizure. I panicked..not knowing what to do. I could only touch his feet and pray in my heart while my friends did the rest. A car stopped and took him away. And then I was there--the tears suddenly streamed down my cheeks..it was hard to see anything...the tears blinded my vision.. But my friend comforted me..she was still calm..thank you, Sunny, for being there with me...

---to be continued---

An Enjoyable Weekend..

2009-10-28T18:38:00.003+08:00

Last weekend was deifnitely an enjoyable one.. my friends and I went down to Ipoh again!! yay! =) All of us (Kai Jun, Yi Heng, Sunny, Pei Wern and myself) planned to get some books at the mall.. so we decided to go to Jusco this time around. The 4 of us, excluding Kai Jun, took the taxi to Old Town, Kampar..and we reach just in time to catch the 10am bus to Ipoh. We met up with Kai Jun at the bus stop infront of Tesco and we were all off to Ipoh...

We arrived at around 11 something.. and we did a bit of looking around.. Jusco was definitely way nicer than Ipoh Parade.. =) we headed to MPH Bookstore and looked for the wanted books. After that, we went to Popular Bookstore to look some more. After much comparison and calculations, we all bought the books that we wanted. It was lunch time and we went off to McD, hoping to enjoy a warm and delicious buger - but to our surprise, the place was packed!! So, we decided to come back about an hour later and went off shopping again. We wandered off to Padini..and apparently, there was a sale. My friends decided to buy a t-shirt.. Kai Jun bought one that printed "Music Is My Life"..then later Sunny decided to buy one too. And soon after, I wanted to get one for myself..it was coloured blue and stated "Beauty & Brains".. the sales person came over and told us that if we bought RM100 and above for the categorised t-shirts, we would get a RM15 rebate. The t-shirts all cost us RM29.90..that means..the 3 t-shirts added up to RM89.70. If one of us bought another one, we would get the rebate! =) And so, we dragged Yi Heng to buy a t-shirt. There was one that printed "All Your Wishes Have Come True. I'm Single." - and he really tried it on and bought it! LOL..it was so funny!! =) In the end, each t-shirt only cost us RM25.25!! =)

After that, we finally went to McD and had our burgers and fries. Yummy! Later, we turned into Jusco and I bought a Bro. water bottle. It was about 4.30pm when we got on the bus to the Ipoh bus station. There, we took another bus back to Kampar Old Town and called up the cab to fetch us back to Yi Heng's house. And once again, it rained..what perfect timing..so, no choice. We were held up in his house to wait for the rain to stop. It was already 6 something when we all got back to our respectives houses...All in all, it was an enjoyable weekend!!

On Monday morning we had Physics Practical in one of the labs.. Our tutor was Mr Chong Poh Nam. Well, I would say that he is a very punctual man, and so he is very particular about punctuality. So, thank goodness I was on time..phew.. however, there was one friend of ours that came 70 minutes late!! and Mr Chong announced to us that our friend had broken all records! LOL..how funny.. He gave us advice on a person's character and attitude.. and what he said is all true. In the real, outside world, what really matters is character and attitude. It's useless to have a nicely printed certificate with CPGA 4.0 or a pretty face if a person's character and attitude were like rotten tomatoes! I believe that a person like Mr Chong is very smart, and able to judge a person's character - based on his many years of experience. He is a wise person..even though he may be a little naggy sometimes.. haha.. =)

Today..I'm supposed to have steamboat dinner with my housemates..they asked if i would like to join them..and I said yes. I see it as an opportunity to get to know them..and know them better... This weekend..would be a rather free one as we would have to pass up our Physics report on Friday. And we've planned a few fun activities.. hopefully, they will all come to pass..and also, hopefully the weather will be clear this weekend.. please don't rain!! =)

A New Chapter Begins...

2009-10-22T14:16:00.007+08:00

A month has passed by..in a blur.. the time ticks by too swiftly, too quickly to grasp..and suddenly I found myself asking "where did all the time go?"... When I arrived at Kampar on 18th Oct at approximately 12.15pm, it felt like it was just yesterday that I left this place for sem break. How time flies. Again.

So..the new sem officially began on the 19th Oct 2009, Monday. Back to University life. =) It felt good to meet up with friends..after we were all back from our holiday. It was good to see their faces again; to hear their voices and laugh with them again. We had Chemistry Practical on that day.. Mr Ng was our practical tutor. We were given our lab manuals and I sat in the first row..with 2 other girl friends. So, he went thru the experiments with us..and explained about the hazards in the lab. Then, it was time to form our lab groups - 4 people per group. The 2 girls and I had planned to be in the same group. All of a sudden, a guy came up to me and asked if I had a group. I told him I was grouping with the other 2 girls..and he asked if he could join us. We all agreed. After giving it some thought..it was quite funny..why would a guy wanna group with us 3 girls? Well..actually I kinda know that guy lar..from tuition during high school..but I only knew him by name..probably he wanted to group with someone he already knew? And besides that..he was sitting next to Alex during the class..why didn't he just turn around and asked to be a group? It's kinda funny though..why he would wanna group with 3 girls. Didn't guys usually grouped with guys?..Hmm..

That evening my friends and I planned a surprise party for one of our friends.. The 2 girls and I have already planned this on the last day of sem 1..when we 'chui sui' in my room till morning..hahaha.. But the plan had to be modified due to my late arrival.. so we came up with plan 2..and plan 3.. but at last..we finally decided to carry out plan 4. To cut things short, LOL... the surprise party was not really successful.. Because that friend of ours went to open the refrigerator and saw the cake!!.. But we managed to bluff him that it was someone else's cake.. So..can say that it was almost-a-surprise party..70% successful? haha..

Fast forward to last night.. went to pasar malam with Pei Wern & Yi Heng..in the rain! But it was a drizzle only lar.. Quickly bought our food and went back home. The nasi lemak sucked - i'll never buy it again! Not long after that, Sunny came to my house..and we discussed our chemistry report..and chatted a little.. =)

Today.. we had Public Speaking & Communication lecture in DDK 1.. We went early to get a good seat. The hall was packed with about 300 students by 10.10am. Our lecturer was named Ms Chan Wan Ling and she is soooo funny!! lol... =) After our 5 minutes break..the lecture continued.. and she was lecturing us about the functions of public speaking.. one of the functions was 'to promote diversity'... so she asked : What is the meaning of the word diversity??..Err..let's see which 'leng zhai' should I call.. (then she hesitated)..no lah..let's ask a girl..I want a short haired girl..( and my hair is now short..haih.. why did I go cut my hair??!) and then..Aaron said "Joyce!!" so loudly..and unfortunately, Ms Chan heard him!! Arghhh!! GREAT. Thanks alot, Aaron. Ughh. So she asked: Who is Joyce?? and I couldn't just sit down like a dummy right?..so I raised my hand unwillingly.. and she asked me what was the meaning of diversity. I said: errr.. variety?? (and thank goodness my answer was correct..ughh..).. hopefully this doesn't happen again..it's bad to be famous for this lecture..I so do not want to be the unfortunate victim to speak in front of 300 over people!! God help me.. LOL.. =P

Outdoors..

2009-10-09T16:41:00.010+08:00

Last week.. my parents and I went for an outdoor morning walk at Itam Dam.. it's good to be back after awhile.. I do miss the misty mountains, sparkling turquoise waters, cool fresh breeze and blinding greenery.. Being indoors too long makes me uncomfortable.. and being outdoors really takes that 'indoor stress' away.. =)

It was 7am when i woke up. I've just gotten about 6 hours of sleep..and it wasn't enough.. But I'd promised my dad that I would wake him up at seven, and I was planning on keeping the promise. However, I could hear the pitter patter of rain outside my window. I checked. And true enough - it was raining. My body resisted the mind's command to get out of bed. But since it was raining.. the morning walk had to be canceled..or postphoned for awhile anyway.. Forget it! Just sleep... So, I slept for another hour..and it was 8am. The rain had stopped. OK..time to keep the promise..I woke my parents up..got ready and we journeyed in our car all the way up to the dam. It was a very smooth drive as the traffic was light due to the downpour. And just when I thought it was going to be a cloudy day ... it started to rain again! But, it was just a very light drizzle - and it wasn't going to get us killed..since we had come all the way - we decided to finish what we've started..(with an umbrella..haha..)

We started our walk..and finally came under the canopy of leaves above us... it was so cold and wet.. but, I enjoyed it.. I loved the green that swirled around me.. I liked the still silence of the forest - with the soft whispers of wind every now and then...

Some random pictures...

------------> It's a jungle out there!!

-------> The misty mountains surrounding the beautiful dam.....

---------------> A mini waterfall...

----------> The forest trail that snakes around the dam...

--------> And for once! - I'm as tall as my dad! haha! =)

In short, my parents and I had a great time and I hope to do it all again sometime in the near future... =)

Recap...Part III

2009-10-06T16:21:00.009+08:00

Moving on to the final weeks of my 1st trimester in Kampar...

Final weeks..that equally meant that the Final Exam was lurking around the corner... Each day that passed meant another day closer to war... In my head, I've pictured the remaining weeks to be dreadful, suffering and basically - just hell! But surprisingly, the weeks that were to come weren't too bad..in fact, I think I had the best time ever!

Fast forward to the 3rd last week of trimester 1 ~~~ It was the last week we had classes. Lectures and tutorials came to an end. In the blink of an eye, 13 study weeks have gone by. What can I say? Time just really flies. It was kinda sad for me..during that week. Every lecture, every tutorial that ended was the last for that sem. The thought kinda made me feel sad in a way..it reminded me of the last week of my high school. All good things must come to an end, so the saying goes.. Actually..all things must come to an end; no matter good or bad. I guess, its just way sadder that good things have to end. But its okay. It's all good. I'm happy enough to have met wonderful people.. see beautiful sights and experience unforgetable feelings with them...

That week we took pictures with some of our lecturers.. lol..

-----> group pic in chemistry lab with Ms Precilla.. (don't you think she looks like one of us students?! haha..)

----> group pic in chemistry lab with Ms Tan.. lol..

----> What the hell are these people doing?! (MAD liao..hehe..)

The week that followed was Study Week. One week break..for us to study our butts off! ( Not really a break after all.. ) There were no lectures or tutorials on that week. But there were revision class..and they were all strictly optional. No one cared if you missed them. We either studied at Sunny's house or sometimes, at my house. So, yeah.. basically..that week..I studied..studied..and studied. (They don't call it study week for nothing!) However, one funny thing was that during that week..there was alot of outdoor exercise! haha! I remember playing badminton with 2 other friends..it was fun! I haven't played badminton since..last year! It was good to laugh, sweat and release all that stress after living under our books for the whole day. And also, I went to the garden beside the lake with another friend. She went jogging while I cheered her on..hahaha.. and then we chatted, took a stroll and enjoyed the view of the sunset. It really helped to take my mind off the exams - even for awhile - it felt good.

The Last Week in Kampar.. Exam Week. That week.. most of the time, study group was at my house. Somehow, it had become a routine. The whole table outside would be fully occupied.. usually. But, I studied in my room most of the time. I guess.. I couldn't concentrate with too many people around. But it was something different. And we studied till the early hours of the morning..burned the midnight oil... sometimes I even slept at 4am!! But usually at midnight, we would go out for 'yam cha'.. supper.. because..well, I couldn't function without food for so long! So.. we went out for supper at the mamak stall..almost every night! (I know it's bad for health.. but don't worry.. I don't do this all the time.. =P ) We ordered our food and watched Astro while waiting..hehehe..one of the ways of destressing, I guess. =) After supper, we continued studying and when I was sleepy..it would be time for all of the others to go home. And just like that.. the exam week..passed..all too fast.

The last day in Kampar.

It was a Saturday.. the final day of exam. We had mathematics paper. The last battle in this war. At 4pm.. it was all yahoos and hoorays!! =) it was the end of it. Well, the end of exams..and the beginning of freedom!! yays! We were held up at campus..because it was raining..(again!) So we lingered on in campus.. chatting and planning what to do later at night. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, the rain stopped. We all started to cycle home. But I felt hungry.. I needed food immediately! ( we usually don't have lunch when we had exams.. no mood to eat..) So, in the end, the 3 of us (Pei Wern, Yi Heng and myself) went off to the mamak stall (again, unbelivably! it was Yi Heng's idea..and since he was going back to his hometown earlier than all of us..we accompanied him..hehe..) We ate happily..and it started to rain again!! argh... and it got heavier by the minute. We decided to wait out till the rain drifted into drizzle..The minutes passed..and there was still no sign of the rain stopping or becoming a drizzle. So, we decided to make a dash for it - cycle home as fast as we can - who cares if you get wet? the exam's are over anyway!

After that, we all stayed home..but we planned to meet up at Alex's house later for old time's sake. It continued to rain outside - the best room condition for sleeping after being sleep deprived for 2 weeks! But, I don't know why I couldn't sleep. So, I cleaned up my room and surfed the net..... Later that evening, one of my friends called me and said: Can I borrow your econs notes? ( I was like..HUH??! You still wanna read econs now???!!!) and later he told me that his friends back at Johor wanted to have a look at it. Swt...

Later that night.. at 10pm.. we went to Alex's house.. ate ground nuts, drank Heineken on the roof and sang Balik Kampung at the top of our voices.. (Haha.. it was Hari Raya the next day..and we were going to go back to our respective hometowns..it sounded appropriate..) Then, we all decided to go to the lake side. There were some people fishing..and some playing fireworks..we chatted a little.. and then we wanted to visit basket ball court. Somehow, there were not enough bicycles.. and ended up Sunny used my bicycle..and fetched me! hahaha.. it was so funny..

We chatted some more..about movies and stuff.. and then..everyone felt hungry. Yam Cha!! hehe.. and we headed to the mamak stall.. (OMG..again!..its almost like a 2nd home now..) After eating, I wanted to go home and sleep..it was about 3.30am..i think.. but my friends did not want to let me sleep. Oh well..it was my last night in kampar..what the hell..so later after they freshened up, Sunny & Pei Wern came to my house..and we 'chui sui' till morning. At about 7.30 am..we were all so tired we feel asleep. We woke up at 9.30am.. and they wanted to go to Old Town for breakfast. But I couldn't join them as my parents were arriving at about 11pm to fetch me home (and I haven't packed my stuff yet!!)...so we said our goodbyes..and then they were gone. I packed my stuff, washed my bicycle, moved it into the house and locked it up. My parents came on time..I locked up the doors and the gate..and I left.

Conclusion.. it has been a good sem. And I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I can proudly say, no regrets! Because..its useless to regret. The best I can do is learn from my mistakes and improvise in the future. I've learned so much during this somewhat short time span - and all this lessons are priceless. I've experienced so many new things and I'm happy to do that with the new, wonderful people that I've met and known. I hope to know them better in the future. =)

To all of my UTAR friends, hope you enjoy your holidays.. and God Bless You! =)

The Facets of Simplicity and Complexity...

2009-09-30T12:59:00.011+08:00

A few days ago, I bought this Rubik's Cube.. well, it is one way to kill time..and I've always wanted to get one.. so then, I finally did...

So, then at home, my mom scrambled up the whole thing.. yup.. SCRAMBLED! So.. I started twisting around at the cube.. (in vain...) ..I could only complete one face. Yeah..that was the best that I could do... I knew there was some kinda formula to solve it..but no harm trying right? Hahaha.. i guess the joke's on me! =)

I looked up the internet.. and I learned about the inventor of this puzzle:

His name was Erno Rubik (obviously, the Rubik's cube is named after him).. He was born in Budapest, Hungary during the World War II. His mother was a poet and his father was an aircraft engineer who started a company to build gliders. ( how cool is that?! )

The Cube~~Rubik's initial attraction to inventing the Cube was not in producing the best selling toy puzzle in history. The structural design problem interested Rubik; he asked, "How could the blocks move independently without falling apart?" In Rubik's Cube, twenty-six individual little cubes or cubies make up the big Cube. Each layer of nine cubies can twist and the layers can overlap. Any three squares in a row, except diagonally, can join a new layer. Rubik's initial attempt to use elastic bands failed, his solution was to have the blocks hold themselves together by their shape. Rubik hand carved and assembled the little cubies together. He marked each side of the big Cube with adhesive paper of a different color, and started twisting.

An Inventor Dreams~~ "It was wonderful, to see how, after only a few turns, the colors became mixed, apparently in random fashion. It was tremendously satisfying to watch this color parade. Like after a nice walk when you have seen many lovely sights you decide to go home, after a while I decided it was time to go home, let us put the cubes back in order. And it was at that moment that I came face to face with the Big Challenge: What is the way home?" - Erno Rubik

That was how the Cube as a puzzle, was invented in the spring of 1974, when the twenty-nine year old Rubik discovered it was not so easy to realign the colors to match on all six sides. He was not sure he would ever be able to return his invention to its original position. He theorized that by randomly twisting the Cube he would never be able to fix it in a lifetime, which later turns out to be more than correct. He began working out a solution, starting with aligning the eight corner cubies. He discovered certain sequences of moves for rearranging just a few cubies at a time. Within a month, he had the puzzle solved and an amazing journey lay ahead..

After that, I went on to youtube (recommended by a friend) to check up the solutions. It wasn't easy looking for an appropriate video..the first one that I came across was too fast for me ( I was a beginner, after all.. ) ..and I continued to search through other videos.. and I finally came across this seven-step-tutorial for beginners. It was practical..and the tutor went at a slow and steady pace - which was great - so, I followed it step by step. Of course, I got it wrong a few times.. as the cube had millions of possible combinations.. and there were different cases for each step. But after a whole day in front of the computer....finally---------------------I can smugly say that I've successfully unscrambled the cube!!!!! =) Oh Yeahhh........

------->>> Look at this mess! The scrambled cube...

------->>> The completed white face and middle cubies...

----------------------->>> Almost there!!! =)

--------------------->>> Finally, it is DONE!! =)

-------------->>> A pat on the back for myself.. haha.. =)

Comments on this puzzle?..Well..for one thing, it is not easy.. if I didn't get some help, I don't think that I would have solved it.. But.. it is not that hard.. basically, its all about maths.. algorithms.. sequence..memory..logic... and I think memorizing the algorithms is the harder part.. I haven't memorized it ..yet.. Even though I've solved it, there's still so much to learn..as there are many ways of solving it..and I've only tried one! Overall, it is a very interesting puzzle..I got hooked!! Addicted to solving it..haha! and it also humbles me, how a seemingly very simple cube can actually be so complex! It's amazing that the inventor created it at a time so long ago.. and it is also amazing that people have come up with so many solutions!

***** 5 Stars Rating for the Rubik's Cube!! =)

Recap...Part II

2009-09-28T13:31:00.014+08:00

The weeks that followed were great... during that few weeks.. well, there were ups and downs...I remember having a nervous breakdown in one of the econs tutorial.. thinking back about it.. I don't really know the exact reason for my reaction. Maybe it was because I didn't like drawing lots - but what other choice did I have? - I was the leader - it was my responsibility. I had to do what I had to do. Maybe it was because of the stupid mid-term tests. Maybe it was because the econs assignment suddenly hit me in the face! Maybe it was because they told me I picked one of the hardest questions. Maybe it was a combination of everything. But I'm glad that I felt a lot better after the... what should I call it? Meltdown? Explosion? Yeah.. Must have been the pressure of everything mixed up.. and also, I'm glad that my friends comforted and consoled me.. I'm glad that I have friends that care.. Thank you, to all those that showed concern during my moment of weakness..and also, so sorry if I scared you guys..haha! =) From this, I've learned that it's totally okay to feel weak and helpless sometimes. After all, we are only human. Not robots. As for me, all I can say is.. give me a few minutes to be weak..and after that, I'll be strong again. =) After that..I remembered going to the pasar malam with my friends..and everything's good again. =) During this period.. also there were moments where I felt dissapointment; hurt. I felt like I was being slapped in the face. But well, i can't control what other people think. I guess I cared too much.. I thought that everything was good and well.. but I guess it was only me.. I was wrong. So, since I can't control the way others think, why bother to please them? We can't please everyone..so I might as well please myself. From this, I've learned that the best character I can be..is to be myself. And being in the middle..is difficult. I never want to be in that position again. And.. we shouldn't expect too much from people..as it'll only dissapoint us..most of the time. I've learned to be more ignorant - not to care too much...I've also identified the people who are with me..the ones who think of me as a real friend..and I'm happy and grateful for that. Thank you, again.

But despite the 'not so happy' times.. there were many happy times.. and I'll cherish all the memories.. keep them all in this blog of mine.. =)

The most activites happened during this time.. For one, we had a nice trip to Ipoh! =) Although we had to take 3 buses just to get to Ipoh Parade, and the bus drivers had crappy attitude (the old people in Old Town and Ipoh seriously need to take some 'customer service' classes!) ..but it was a great experience.. it was nice to sit by the window and just enjoy the view of the city..the buildings that passed by reminded me of my hometown, Georgetown. The arrangements of both cities were so similar - it must be because of the British occupation long ago that caused this resemblence. Once we arrived, we had lunch and we also did a lot of shopping.. surprisingly, I didn't buy anything! But my friends bought loads of stuff.. formal clothes, books, shoes.. and even belts! I actually went to Ipoh with hopes of buying a good book. But the Popular bookstore there was so poorly stocked that I didn't even bother to get anything. It was a dissapointment. But despite that, I had a great time with all my friends. It would be one of the events in my life that I'll never forget. After shopping for the whole day - i mean this literally (because we got back to Old Town at about 7pm!!), we decided to have dinner there. We had the famous curry-chicken-in-bread..and rice with other dishes. It was a feast! But I think we ordered a little too much.. as some of the guys were struggling to finish all the food..haha! But they were still able to clean it all up! I salute you guys! haha! =) Then, the very funny part was when we were going back to our houses. We called up a van..and guess what.. there were no seats at the back of the van! So, all the girls sat in the front (of course, lar.. all the guys very gentlemen mar..haha!) and the poor guys had to sit (or squad) at the back.. ( like pendatang asing!! hahaha!) ...it was so funny!! =)

-------> The ancient ticketing system (bus conductors punch holes into the tickets..) still used in Ipoh.. my dad says.. its good that I still get to see such things.. =)

Another activity was cooking at Alex's house. Sometimes eating out all the time can be very 'sien'.. so we decided to have some home cooked food instead! =) and not bad, really.. we can definitely taste some part of home in the food! good job, guys... =)

-------> The food looks good!! Hungry~~~~~~~~~~~

----------> Like family reunion.. hahaha! =)

---------> My friends..trying to take my pic.. as usual..haha!

Next, we had steamboat!! It was a Saturday night, I think... my groupmates and I were having a discussion on one of the assignments. But in the end, almost everyone from our gang ended up in my room! We were having a MAJOR DISCUSSION for the steamboat. Of course it was a MAJOR discussion - when it comes to food, eveyone is involved!! So we made a very long list of the food that we were going to buy ...and also collected the money. The next day, we (as far as I can remember..it was only Alex, Soon Yi, Yi Heng, Yu Tai, Pei Wern, and myself that went..) woke up early ..cycled to Old Town, had our breakfast and headed to the local wet market. And our shopping began...we bought lots of vegetables..and tofu ( as one of my friends is a vegetarian..) ..and there was also meat and prawns. But that wasn't all..after that, a few of us went off to Tesco to shop for the rest of the food. And my friend, Pei Wern.. she took me there on a motorbike (borrowed from another friend)..and guess what.. her license was expired! But we still went anyway... haha..and we used the dangerous road.. the one where a few of my friends had accidents there..haha! One of them..kena the hand..another one..kena the knee..that's what happens when u're not careful, guys! ha! =)

---> MAJOR discussion? Yeah..its was so tiring..untill some of them ended sleeping..and on my bed!!!

And after all the shopping for fishballs, meat balls, sotong balls, mushrooms and ice cream..we went back home.. In the evening, we prepared the food and the soup.. and as night time came.. it was time to feast! =) We all had a great time eating.. chatting.. making fun.. and we even had games after that.. =) It was a long day........tiring....but it was an unforgettable experience.

-------> Open your mouth as wide as possible..to fit in all the food... haha! =)

-------> Just shut up and eat!... LOL =)

Wow..too long liao.. need to have part III.. hahaha.. =P

Recap...Part I

2009-09-23T15:43:00.004+08:00

Its the end of a trimester and a new trimester will embark on its own journey soon.. It has been a good sem, I would say. No regrets. And I wouldn't want to have it any other way. =)

So..a RECAP of all that happened...

The first day in Kampar..was............ err........torture!!! Watching my parents leave was painful. Undescribably tormenting. It was one of the most intense feelings that I've ever felt in my life so far. The alien room made it worse. I was aimless - sitting on my bed and staring at the four walls, waiting for the seconds to tick by... "How is it possible that an hour feels like a day, and a day feels like a month?", I asked myself. Silence was my friend then.. nothing but silence. Not talking made me feel uneasy. Perhaps I was going madder by the second. I needed some company; and thank goodness, I had someone to turn to...dinner with an old friend was instant medicine to my loneliness...

The next day was registration day.. I cycled to campus by myself to collect my T-shirt, file and landyard... the entire Block A was filled with young people.. like myself..all on the same task... my mission, however was to register, get all my items, submit my scholarship form and get back home as fast as i could. Firstly.. the people at campus told me to go to BlockA upstairs..but when i got there, they said..no, go to BlockA downstairs..then they said..no, go to Block C..fine..i went to BlockC and i finally found the Department of Student Affairs there..so I actually had my campus road trip while searching for DSA..haha..it turned out that I needed my parent's signature as witnesses!! OK..great. I had to go back to Penang to get my parents signature.. but that was no big deal as I planned to go back Penang anyway... After all that, I headed back home. That day..I had a feeling of accomplishment. I felt like I've done something..perhaps it was because I managed to do everything that I planned..and by myself. It was a good thing. =)

After that it was back to Penang.. my friend decided to skip orientation..and so did I, conviniently... haha.. my parents were surprised when I told them I was coming home..but they were also tremendously glad to hear the news. I was glad that I could be in Penang for another week. But somehow...time seems to pass faster when we're happy. And the week flew by. It was time to go back Kampar. Again. This time I went back with my friend..and the new sem officially began...

First week in Kampar... was OK..but still it was the "suffering stage".. The first lecture I attented was Maths. I met this girl. We exchanged names and phone numbers. And I ended up sitting with her during lecture. And somewhere in the middle of the lecture, the lecturer asked : "Can I have a representative from each TD group? " It seems like every TD group had a class rep but none of the TD10 members wanted to take the responsibility. But finally, a guy stepped forward to take the notes and photocopy them...And I was like.. HUH? TD group? Got such thing??.. The girl, named San Nee (or Sunny)...told me that we each belonged to a TD group..tutorial group stream D... Ok..so I did not know which TD group i was in..and I didn't have a printed timetable!! GREAT. I was lost again. But it was really nice of the girl to accompany me to the office and I asked for my timetable. OK. I was in TD10..and fortunately, she was in the same group. That meant that we had the same lectures and tutorials.. it was a relieve. =) Finally it was English lecture..the last lecture for the long day..it was tiring.. I felt comfortable in English. I guess it was because english was somewhat like my comfort zone... or so I'd thought...until the lecturer said that we had a presentation that very day!! What the---------its only the first day and there's a presentation already?? Gosh! When will these insane people give us a break?! So.. I grouped with Sunny and 4 other girls.. we planned out our mind map and soon it was time to pick the presenter. And its no surprise that I was picked. OK..since I'm already so damn tired..one little presentation wouldn't bother me. Just do it.. the presentation was basically an intro of myself and my group members. The End. That wasn't so bad. =)
The whole week passed by quite slowly.. then..during computer studies lecture..the lecturer mentioned about groupings for our assignment. 6 members per group. OK.. Sunny and I planned to group together..and we needed 4 other people. We quickly searched for other TD10 members..as assignment mates have to be from the same tutorial group. We recognised the "TD10 class rep".. and he agreed to join us..and he brought along 3 other friends.. He addressed himself as Alex.. because well, I didn't speak mandarin...it was easier to deal with his nickname. Later I was introduced to the other 3 members..So..these people were my first few friends in UTAR..

The 2nd week was better. That week tutorial classes began. I now knew who were in TD10. There was a gang that spoke English.. and the most funny thing about them was that they liked to called out "JOYCE!!" whenever we met. So I took the chance to ask them..what's up with all the name calling? and they said that I had a nice name...haha..LOL.

The weeks that followed were good. My circle of friends was expanding..even outside of TD10.. I even got to know more of the TD10 members.. those that weren't in my assignment group. One of the most funny events during this time was during a maths lecture. My lecturer was randomly calling out names to find out who was absent...he claimed that there were many "ghost" in our lecture hall as the names were signed but the students were not in class! So that day he caught many "ghost" and so he decided to go one by one... then it was my turn.."Joyce Teh Shu Mei...", he called... I raised up my hand and the next thing i knew was.. everyone was calling my name..the english speaking group..and the rest of the guys in my assignment group.. OMG!!! I instantly put down my hand.. feeling embarassed..as everyone beside me was staring at me.. I seriously needed a mask!!! Arghh.. and when they were asked for the reason they called my name..one of them said..I wanna make u famous mah.. ???? What the-----hmmph.. instant name fame?? Hahaha.. it was a very strange experience...

~~That's all for now.. Part II will be up soon.. =)

Hibernating

2009-09-20T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! I'm back in Penang...

Currently readjusting and recharging my biological battery..so , that means i'll be hibernating for about 12 whole hours.. haha.. =)

Will update blog when i'm done hibernating!

~~Missing all my UTAR buddies... and i can't wait to meet up with old friends in Penang!!

1 down, 5 more to go...

2009-09-13T14:14:00.004+08:00

Yup..my final exam is finally here. It's time to march to the battle field with our brains and stationery!! =)

The past week has been hectic.. it has been MAD!! But even so, it was really fun. We studied hard.. to the point where our heads were on the brink of an atomic explosion!!! So, to avoid mental breakdown, we found a good way to relax for awhile.

When we can't take it any longer, we will log on to youtube and watch Happy Tree Friends. And the theme song starts.."Lalalalalalala..." The cartoons are really gross and disgusting. FREAK ACCIDENTS! But it's so funny and entertaining.. so, for those who are busy studying for exams.. do take breaks in between to avoid going mad. Find ways to release stress. Outdoor exercise helps. On certain days I'd go out to the garden beside the lake with my friend..take a slow walk and enjoy the evening scenery. The sunset is so beautiful..and looking at the lake gives me a calming effect... truly, nothing can compare to the beauty of God's creation. =)

Take time out, people!! and smile!! =)

Beauty...

2009-09-06T12:11:00.003+08:00

When my dad visited me last week..one of the things he told me was : Physical beauty is only skin-deep.

I have no idea why this phrase suddenly surfaced..Oh..right..it was last night.. I was reading my galaxie magazine when my friends came over for group study.. we were debating on which celeb had the best hair-style and which celeb had muscular arms..haha.. so..it was then when I brought up the subject on what my dad told me. They all agreed with my statement.

Indeed, physical beauty is only skin-deep. Physical beauty fades away with the passing of time. It is fragile; easily forgotten. However, physical beauty is what most humans look for...or we can say that physical beauty is the first feature that is looked at... and often..a book is judged by its cover.

But how is true beauty defined? I've realised that the word beauty can be so subjective. For me, beauty beyond the skin is so much more than just great hair style, smooth complexion, muscular bodies and curvy figures. The beauty of a person is in the way they talk. The way their smile brightens up the entire room. The way their laughter takes away the worries of the moment. The way their voice can be so familiar. The way they think. The way they act. The way they influence and impact your life in a million ways. Yes. True beauty is so much more than just what lies on the surface. This is the type of beauty that radiates strength, creates joy and builds up hope for another day. =)

So Close..yet, So Far...

2009-08-30T14:35:00.014+08:00

Yesterday my parents arrived at my doorstep at approximately 5.30 pm... =)

It was so good to see them again. No words can describe how I felt seeing their familiar faces again... I can only say that it felt like a breath of fresh air after being suffocated for being in their absence...

They obviously did not come empty-handed. There was food! =) and also..many other things...Later that evening we went down to Kampar Old Town to have dinner. We had the famous curry-chicken-in -bread.. yummy! and also other side dishes.. Then we stopped by at the lake near my house. There were so many people with fishing rods. Too bad my dad didn't bring his rod ..or we would have been fishing all night long.. hahaha.. =P

Back in my room, we prepared the bedding and my dad surfed the internet while i chatted with my mom.. there was so much to share..so much to catch up on.. Later my dad was done with the internet and it was soon time to rest... But we continued to chat.. I told them about my problems..my experiences and they gave me great advice and encouragement in return... =) and also..my dad opened the jam bottle for me! FINALLY! lol...

This morning we woke up early..coz my dad decided to bring us to Ipoh for breakfast.. But before that, we went to the lake to take some pictures.. The weather was beautiful and we even saw a rainbow before we left for ipoh! =) So we went to Ipoh..but my dad wasn't really familiar with the place..so by the time we reached our destination it was 11am - and we decided to have

lunch instead..hahaha.. the food was okay..but penang's still the best...no where beats penang!!

------------------> That's my mom.. =)

-----------> I Love u, mom! U're the best! =)

--------> FAMILY = Father and Mother, I Love You! =)

-----> That's my Dad... handsome huh? =) *its so bright!!*

---> A rainbow is always a good sign~~ =) How beautiful...

After all that, it was time to head for Kampar...again. So, after packing up everything it was time for them to leave. Again. We exchanged hugs and goodbyes and then they said "We'll see you in 3 weeks's time!". And that was it. It was time to part as they drove away and was finally out of my sight...

How is distanced defined? Is it the measure of the length of space that separates us? Or is it measure of the time - the seconds that tick by - the longing to see them again? Shouldn't this feeling become weaker as time passes? I should be better at this. But I guess I'm still not good with parting scenes. After all this I finally realise something...Indeed; they may be physically far away from me. But one thing I know is that they are and will always be close to my heart - a place where distance becomes insignificant, trivial...distance means nothing here. Not anymore. =) ** I'll be home soon!! Don't miss me too much! =)

Home Alone..

2009-08-28T21:39:00.005+08:00

Its that time of the year again.. Independence Day; or more commonly known as Merdeka Day for us Malaysians. Its the time of the year where we get to hear "Tanggal Tiga Puluh Satu.." and "Jalur Gemilang..." I wouldn't say that I'm extremely patriotic but hearing the patriotic songs being played in the cafeteria a few days back flashed sweet memories in my mind. I remember celebrating Merdeka Day in school with all my friends and teachers. We sang many patriotic songs, and had students reciting 'pantun' and 'sajak' that were themed on patriotism. We even had class decorating competitions and poster drawing.. =) But the best part of it was waving the Malaysian flag up high. Although I'm not a very patriotic person...but waving the flag really does get us into the Merdeka spirit...

However..this year...things are a little different. Hmm..wrong. Its a world of difference, actually. This year's Merdeka Day.. I'll be home alone. Well..not really all alone lar.. There are a few people left in my house..but I think I own the whole ground floor though.. I returned home to a dark and empty house today..and I knew this would happen as many people would balik kampung as Merdeka Day falls on a monday. Its a little scary here now.. all alone in my room..just me and my PC.. =P I know there's nothing to be afraid of..but still..haih..I'll just have to turn on the music a little louder..hahaha..However, I must say..the internet connection is so much faster..so being home alone isn't that bad after all..muahahaha.. =) I planned to balik kampung too, but my parents decided that it would be better if they come visited me instead. =)

So my parents will be arriving here tomorrow evening.. and i get to eat my favourite home cooked spaghetti!! YAY! and also my mom is going to make me glutinous rice balls for desert!! Ahhhhhh! I love you mummy and daddy! U guys are the BEST! =)

Jammed...

2009-08-25T20:10:00.003+08:00

Just decided to post this very funny conversation..hahaha..

So, last week I went to Tesco..and I saw a whole shelve of different flavours of jams.. WOW, I thought.. I haven't had simple bread + jam in a long time!! So I decided to get a bottle of strawberry jam.

Feeling delighted to taste strawberry jam after such a long time, I woke up and decided to make myself the simple breakfast... So I started to open the cover of the jam bottle. Hmm.. it's a little tight..so i tried again...but it wouldn't move. So i tried again..applying more and more force to the cover... finally i was applying as much force as i could..but it still did not move. Not even 0.0000000001mm!!! ARGH!! OK lor..forget it.. No Jam.

Then I sat in front of my PC and ate plain bread and drank coffee. I soon chatted with a friend, KJ. This was the funny part of the conversation.

J: I so kesian u know.. eating plain bread and coffee nia.. I bought jam from Tesco but I can't open it!

KJ: Hahahaha..swt~~ Got bread to eat is already very good...

J: Yeah.. and I know u sure gonna say...

KJ: You know Africa boy? So pity ahh..

(This is an internal joke. Sometimes I don't finish my food..and then everyone will say: You know Africa boy? So pity ahh..Don't waste food! Then i'll say: I dunno worr.. And they'll say: If dunno..can go Soon Yi's house and see the picture. This happens almost every meal!!! And all this started from Kai Jun!! But then got another friend, Yi Heng..he teach me how to answer back: This is my limit. If i eat more and i end up vomitting lar..then wouldn't I be wasting even more??..muahahaha..)

J: See! I knew u were going 2 say that! lol

KJ: hahaha...yeah... then u didn't ask ur house frens 2 open it?

J: I very rarely meet them mar..

KJ: Hmm..then do u have hot water??

J: Oh..got arr..why leh?
J: Ohh...I know d! Put hot water on the cover. Then the metal will expand. And can open d..
J: Yeah!! Thanks, KJ for giving me this idea! =)

KJ: err..you get my point. Swt~~~
KJ: Good thing u didn't think of breaking the bottle...

J: Ehh..actually I got think of it leh.. But then after I break the bottle where do i keep the jam?
J: I'd have to buy another empty bottle for it..

(I really did thought of it.. hahaha.. how silly.. =P )

KJ: No need lar.. easy ..keep it in ur stomach ..when wanna eat it time, vomit it out..easy~~

J: Eeeewwww!!

KJ: Just do it. BREAK IT!

J: Cannot.. we are science students. Must be logical. Hahaha..

Until now I still haven't tasted the jam in the jammed bottle. But I'll try out the hot water method soon..muahahaha.. Applying physics in everyday life.. =P

As Time Passes...

2009-08-20T16:20:00.006+08:00

The past few weeks have been long in some ways and short an another...
I've felt mentally and physically tired... Mentally tired from the facing and handling the different characters of people - from the wounds and scars that they might leave behind... Physically tired from the late nights, the never ending presentations, homework, the tormenting hours of tedious study to sit for tomorrow's test... Sometimes I just wish that I can dive under the blue ocean and completely forget about the world above me...But it that possible? Being totally ignorant is in fact, sometimes impossible...

However, things get better when there's someone that is willing to listen, to lend an ear when feelings need to be expressed. These are my friends..the few people that I can turn to when I need help. And I am quickly comforted by their presence, their understanding and their care. Thank you for being there.

Everything passes with time - like the ever flowing river that rushes along its path. Certainly; time waits for no one. Time reveals much. It reveals the distinct characters of people, especially. Time heals wounds. The passing time makes me wiser, moulds me and changes me. Many things have changed since I started a new chapter of my life. Changes are inevitable. Changes will happen, sooner or later. The only question is - do we change for the better? Or do we change for the worse?

I've learned so much, with the passing of precious time. The few main things that I've learned are------> The only person you can control is yourself. I always have a choice-in anything. The most difficult position to be in is in the middle. But no matter what happens, I 've decided to only keep the good and throw away the bad. And being ignorant isn't that hard. It's actually kinda easy. And yes, sometimes less is definitely more. I've chosen to think that people have left footprints, marks, memories and lessons in my life rather than thinking of it as wounds and scars.

Yes. We certainly have a choice in everything that we do. White or black. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Happy or sad. ....it all narrows down to which one we choose. I choose to live life as happily, as contentedly as I can...because the seconds continue to tick by and the earth continues to rotate regardless of wether we are happy or sad. I choose to see the brighter side of things. Tomorrow is another day, the sun will continue to rise and shine; and with it comes new hope, strength and grace to carry on. I am glad that I've chosen this choice and I will resume walking on this path that I have chosen. =)

Funny stuff...

2009-08-04T14:14:00.005+08:00

These are some of the things that I'd very unlikely do.. or so I'd thought...hahaha...

1. Question: Can you dislike a certain person just by looking at their face???
Answer: If you asked me this question last time, my answer would probably be.. "err..cannot..kua.." But now its a different story. Yes. It is possible to dislike someone just by looking at their face. I know. Sounds a little impossible - but it is true!!

2. Wearing a helmet...??? Huh? I don't even have motorcycle lisence! But I finally did it - wore a helmet. Not pleasant..but well..safety first! Hahaha.

3. Rode on a motorcycle that has expired road tax!!! This is definitely something I never thought would happen to me. HAHAHA... what are the chances? One to a million, I would say! But yup..that happened. However..it wasn't that serious.. because I wasn't the owner of the bike nor was I the driver...so even if we got caught..I'll just be watching drama at the side..hahahaha.. =P

4. Drink hot coffee during lecture. And in front of the lecturer!! Hahaha.. sorry lar, Miss.. but I was too sleepy.. so my excuse would be..I drank coffee during your lecture so that I won't be sleepy, I want to pay attention mar.. lol..

5. Sleep during lecture. Yeah..this time it was in front of the lecturer too. My excuse?? It was just too bad that the lecturer was to boring..and her voice..oh my goodness.. please lahh.. so high pitched!! Is that her natural voice or is she just faking it to irritate me to death??? So..the best way to cure irritation caused by high pitched voices - SLEEP.

6. Yam cha with groupmates till 3.30am in the morning!! Wah liao..

7. Didn't sleep for a whole 48hours... and the consequences?? -----> felt like a zombie for the next 24 hours... and the days passed so fast as two days fly by in a muddled one-day-blur...hahaha

=)
LOLs

Random Thoughts...

2009-08-02T23:19:00.008+08:00

For the past few weeks..i've learned, noticed and realised that...

1. A person can be surrounded by a sea of people, and yet still feel all alone..
2. Different individuals can react very differently to a situation..
3. It's okay to express your feelings..there are just some things u can't control. But then, emotions, thoughts and opinions have to be voiced out in suitable means...
4. There are just some paths in life that are meant to be walked on alone.. our family and friends can be supporting and cheering us on by the side and back..but it is still your race to finish..your battle to fight...
5. Words can hurt more deeply than a sword...
6. Sometimes, less is more...
7. The best way to live life is to take things with a sense of humour..
8. Laughing is good for health.. =)
9. When you're away from home, friends are the closest people that u can rely on..
10. Time can pass by quickly or slowly..it all depends on how you choose to spend it and with who you're spending it with...
11. My parents are my pillar of strength...
12. You can always trust and rely in God for everything..
13. Being open-minded helps us in appreciating and accepting the ups and downs of life..
14. Riding on a motorbike is a teeny-weeny bit scary but fun at the same time! hahaha... =P

--------> This weekend was spent with my parents..and my doggy back home in Penang... =)
It was incredibly overwhelming and satisfying to see their faces again..like a breath of fresh air..
Words cannot express the joy that i felt being home and putting everything else aside.. all the homework, the anxieties, the problems... it's just good to be home! I enjoyed watching DVDs with my parents, eating the best food, playing with my dog, exchanging stories and catching up with what's happening in penang... Penang is still the same.. but it seems like the traffic jam is getting worst! and it rained the whole of saturday.. the pouring rain was refreshing at first.. a change of weather for me.. i'm kinda getting used to the hot weather here in kampar i guess.. and getting tanner and darker-skinner everyday..hahaha..

However, the rain lasted throughtout the whole day.. and suddenly the atmosphere was almost sad and gloomy..but i pushed that feeling aside..and enjoyed listening to the sound of the rain instead.. =)

Back at home there were some new things that caught my attention.. one..was the new water tap in the kitchen sink. Then there was the budding pink flowers at the balcony..the last time i was home..it was just all leaves..no flowers. Yet. And the most obvious of all was the new fish my dad bought-a new addition to his existing marine tank. What a colourful fish.. =)

My doggy dearest.. is she fatter now or what??? Hmm.. but i don't care.. haha..

Little pink flowers.. =) not yet..still buds..haih..too bad i can't see them bloom..good job, mom!

The very colourful clown trigger fish...daddy and his hobby..there's always something new.. =)

Other than that.. everything else was unchanged..still the warm, familiar little place that i know.. my room was still the same - blue and welcoming...but something was off..perhaps it was too tidy..too clean..or too empty??.. hmm.. but it is still my room..and it felt good to return..even for a while... =)

I will always miss home..but no matter what happens.. i know home always awaits me..and the time will soon come when we will all meet again.. =) There's no place like home!!

First Thing's First...

2009-07-07T13:56:00.004+08:00

OK.. I know.. I know..

Wah.. this Joyce.. so long didn't update her blog.. hmm.. what the HELL is she up to huh?? gone for a few weeks already forget about her friends back in penang??!

Hahaha.. not to worry! To everyone back in Penang.. i'm back! and I still remember each and every one of u guys! =)

But first things first-----------> my sincerest APOLOGIES to all of you!! SO sorry, I didn't update my blog for a century! Hahaha.. So here's a little about my current life...

Well.. what can i say?? Being here in Kampar for about 6 weeks now.. it's pretty much like being a grown-up! I've learned how to manage my own life on my own.. without mom and dad.. sure, it wasn't easy - the first week here was torture, i tell you!! Maybe its because i am the only child in my family..so, being apart from them..i'm totally out of my comfort zone. The first week.. i actually felt like tears were going to stream down my cheeks at any moment, especially when i have time to think of home.. but ..thank goodness i didn't.. phew.. =)

So..how's life here, u ask? ..Well..yeah, i wash my clothes.. but i send them to the laundry once every week..its FOC..why not? I cycle to school everyday..yup...and the food here is really not bad, although no where beats good old Penang when it comes to food!! =) The food here is also pretty cheap.. and eveything is convenient.. besides that, I met this friend ..she's from Kedah and she speaks hokkien!! yay! and best of all - she has a car! so, she fetches me and another friend (also from Kedah and in the same tutorial group as i am..so we have the same classes..and we are together..most of the time..) and we go out 2 dinner almost everyday.. =) As for my classes..well..everything is OK so far..we do have long long breaks in between classes..sometimes up to 4 hours! so i either go home or study + sleep in the library with my group mates..

And to cut the story short.. I've made many new friends here in UTAR. They're all nice and funny people and I hope to know them better.. Thank goodness that my assignment mates are all responsible people.. =) So.. my mandarin is improving, i hope..haha.. (forced to speak..but it's a good thing, really).. i'm feeling very sleepy right now, actually.. just came back from the mamak stall..had lunch with my group mates.. being full makes me sleepy.. so that's all for now..

I really miss Penang and all of you guys!! Hope 2 see y'all soon! Love ya! Hugs!! Don't miss me too much..and don't worry about me! I'm doing fine here!!

XOXO!!

Plans for the Near Future...

2009-05-11T09:41:00.002+08:00

In the near future...
I would be leaving Penang. It's going to be time to spread my wings and leave the comfortable nest that I've known my whole life. Kampar, Perak would be my new destination. I've already rented a room in one of the 3 story houses there. I would have to handle my own life from then on; I would have to pay the rent; find my way around campus; manage my diet...and the list goes on. I feel somewhat smug to have rented a single room - that just means extra space and a whole lot more privacy! (There's even an attached bathroom in the room! - And I have it all to myself...muahahaha..) When i went to rent my room, something caught my dad's eye - it was a flyer that advertised food delivery. Apparently, there was this shop that had a wide variety of food ranging from italian chicken chop, thai tom yam and american breakfast - and all these will be sent right to your doorstep! =) And the price, I would say, is reasonably cheap. =P

The journey to Perak seemed like it was never-ending. As my dad drove with reasonably fast speed, all we could see, mostly were miles and miles of grey freeways with streaks of blinding green on our left and right. It was a green hole, no doubt. But it was a calm place, where life moved at a slower pace. This was were I would be living in...soon.

I've visited the UTAR campus twice so far, and I have to say: it is beautiful! There were two lakes on either side of the road leading to the student houses and it was like a bird sanctuary! Lilies grew everywhere, blossoming with pink brilliance. The birds of many species were enormous! I think they come from the 'burung bangau' species. The surroundings were utterly peaceful, with a low number of vehicles.

I'm also glad that I would be having a friend that was going to take the same path like me. She's one year my senior, so she would be pursuing a degree course while I would be pursuing a foundation course. We were from different fields of study, but I'm glad that somehow our fates intertwined, leading us to the same educational institute. I found out that she would be living very near to me. Her house was only opposite from mine, to be precise. Knowing this gave me great relieve. Of course, it will be nice to make new friends; but it won't be the same to have seasoned friends, especially when I'll be completely new to my surroundings.

My place of stay is only about 10 minutes from the campus. There, everyone rides a bicycle. They're obviously living up to the 'Go Green' motto! =) I have no idea how life's going to be there. But I have a good feeling about it. Things are going to be so different, but I guess it will be good for me. Distractions were going to be minimal and it's time I learn more independence.

My departure is currently scheduled on 24th May 2009. But don't be sad because Kampar is only a 2 hour drive from Penang. I'll probably visit home so much that you'll be sick of me! =)

So, to all my friends, I wanna wish you all the best in everything you do and congratulations to all those who have obtained scholarships - may all your aspirations come true!

XOXO

Shiny New Toy

2009-04-21T15:35:00.003+08:00

Last Sunday...

I finally got my new laptop! =)

I'm currently exploring Windows Vista - & also learning some new features...

Honestly, I'm no computer pro & I sometimes get panic when a virus is detected in my computer... hehe.. funny & silly - I know!

But no matter what, it's always fun to play with a shiny new toy! =)

XOXO!

Honoured

2009-04-09T20:34:00.004+08:00

Hey people!

So sorry that i've not been updating my blog recently.. I guess I was busy..perhaps reluctant, even, to write anything at all! I've totally lost track of the time - the seconds tick by; the hours pass; days slip unnoticingly away...

The most recent event in my ordinary life is the SPM High Achievers Award Ceremony. Indeed, it is an honour to be listed as one of the prize receivers. The prestigous event was held at Dewan Tunku aka Komtar Dome on the 4th of April at 9.45am. However, there was a one hour delay due to certain difficulties. Why am I not surprised?! Gah! Government workers. Inefficient as always...

Registration was opened at 11 am & we proceeded to check our names, sitting arrangements & most importantly, to collect our money! Yup, that's right. RM200 worth of cold, hard cash. =) But apart from the money, there was something bigger ahead - we were going to meet the Chief Minister of Penang in a moment! We were going to meet him in person. We were going to shake his hand! No doubt that it was an honour, a privilegde to do such a thing. It was definitely a once in a lifetime experience for me; and for all my other friends, I believe. I mean, come on! It's Mr Lim Guan Eng! He's a politician - somehow he was almost a celebrity!

He arrived at 12 pm, as informed earlier by the MC. Man! He is certainly one punctual guy! And that's a good thing. As he strolled down the aisle, he smiled his widest smile & shook many hands. Then he gave a well said speech. =)

It was finally time to step up on stage to shake his hand and receive our certificates. CGL was called and finally it was my turn. I was nervous, although I don't know why I felt that way. It must be the crowd of media photographers and overly enthusiastic parents that flashed their cameras like nobody's business! As I approached him and his fellow politicians, they all wished me 'congratulations'. Of course I replied a 'thank you', what alse?! Then he asked me : "Are your parents here?" "Yeah. My dad's the one in dark blue at the back," I confirmed. Then he said something amusing. "You must give him a good smile, ya..." I gave him a sheepish smile - perhaps I was momentarily stunned by his casualness; his humility.

After all the schools were done with that, the students from our school rushed up to the stage to request for a group photo with him. Him was more than happy to accept our request. He was kinda surprised at the number of SPM High Achievers from our school, so he asked... "Which school are you all from?" "Convent Green Lane, sir," we enlightened. Then he said: "Wah..there are so many of you. Next year I must give the school principal an award d..." =)

After all that, lunch was served. Finally! I groaned.. it had been a long day. Posing for the camera really ain't that easy. I'm amazed at how Mr Lim Guan Eng seem to be able to smile effortlessly for the camera. Well, I guess practise makes perfect! =)

** I'll be posting the photos soon, after sending them to the photo shop for editing..

XOXO!

Feeling Smug and Numb with Disbelief...

2009-03-13T10:30:00.007+08:00

Yup. SPM-results-day finally came and went. Yesterday was D-day.

To think about it, I've not been thinking much about my SPM after it was over in November 2008. All I know is that I've done what I could - given my all - my best shot, and there's nothing more I can do. The rest of the job, I've surrendered it into the SFGTD mailbox. (SFGTD stands for Something For God To Do) =) Yes, I'm the type of person that turns to my divine source for help. I have faith that my God will work all things out for my good.

Days came and went; like clouds with shapes that seemed almost decipherable - but all too soon are blown away with the passing wind. I knew what I'll be feeling very soon - fear and anxiety - and probably even insomnia! My mind has been sealing out the SPM-results-thought into a vault and so, this coming event never really got to me until the last minute. Thank god for that! I've been spending time reading endlessly..book after book. My television played its part well too..movie after movie and episode after episode. But well, all good times must come to an end. My mind could no longer vault that invading thought away. It was time.

12th March 2009, Thursday - a date unlike any other - a day that will be etched in the minds of students obtaining their SPM results. It was the day when our hard work - what seems to be like an eternity of studying - will translate into grade printings on a piece of low quality paper ( don't u think the paper is so thin!) . Wow..that doesn't sound glamorous at all..hee..

I woke up to another day when the sunlight streamed through my bedroom window and finally hurt my eyes. "Oh, no. It's almost time," I groaned internally. I dragged myself out of bed and prepared myself for the impact. The tsunami of fear & anxiety hasn't hit - wow, that's odd! But it didn't take long for it to strike. Not long after breakfast, the earthquake hit (at a reading that even the Richter scale couldn't read) - i had an ephiphany - a moment of total clearity. Time is up. You can't avoid the subject any longer. Face it! The outcome doesn't matter. You've done your best and that's all that counts! Then, the after effect of the earthquake began. The tsunami of fear & anxiety finally hit. My palms turned icy cold, my head numb and my stomach began to churn in a way that it never had before - it was like i could feel the acid corroding my stomach wall and I'd just swolled an icicle and it was slowly melting against the heat of my stomach.

As i neared the crowd of enthusiastic students I bumped into Audelia and she said "Hey! Congratulations Joyce!" I gave her a sheepish smile and I was wondering - Was I missing out on some joke?! Then I met Patsy, Angelin, Yi Lyn and Beatrice...i assumed they already got their results and it must be good as they were grinning widely. Suddenly, a form four girl came out of no where and asked me... "You're Joyce Teh right? You got straight A1s right?" and I said..."I don't know. I didn't get my results yet!"..i was super puzzled! I was LOST! Did I really get what she'd mentioned? Oh, Come on..that's gotta be some joke! I went into the results room & looked for my form teacher, Pn Cheah. In front of me, Thilages was in the midst of taking her results and she burst into tears! Her sister was crying and she was jumping and then she hugged her dad! Wow..all the drama is getting me eager, and edgier by the second. Then it was my turn. I smiled at my teacher and she smiled at me. In her funny, blur way she searched for my results slip. She found it. She looked at it. She showed it to me and she smiled her widest smile. I could see the straight line.She congratulated me and all I could say was "Thank you, teacher!" She gave me a bear hug. I smiled! Somehow, I was not jumping for joy or tearing like how my friend did. I was composed. Just a smile. Maybe I still couldn't accept the fact. Maybe I was in a dream. If it was a dream - PLEASE! Don't wake me up from it! Again, the form 4 girl, Xin Fang approached me and said "Joyce, you have to stay back for an interview later at 10.50 in the science garden,". I walked out of the room, bedazzled - still feeling numb with disbelief. I caught my mom and showed her my results; and suddenly I was jumping up and down - I guess the fact finally sank in. =)

Afterwards, I went to the science garden and there were a bunch of people at the stone table. Slowy, in my numbness, I identified them. They were also there to be interviewed. They all congratulated me and vice versa. The form 4 students finally came to interview us for the school magazine. I must say that it was the most 'siao' interview ever! Everyone was talking at the same time and some of the questions were just drop-dead-ridiculous! There were a few funny questions and hilarious answers too.. for example there was this question : If you could ask anyone anything and the person will surely have the answer to your question, what would that question be? I tried to put on my humorous side and my answer was : What's the next 4-D first prize number?? hahaha... yeah..so i think that would be the most 'siao' interview that i'll have in my life. *LOL!*

Once again, every good thing must come to an end. As I said my last goodbyes and hugged my friends, I felt an overwhelming sadness despite the numbness and the euphoria - nostalgic as usual. I'm not good at saying goodbyes. But I didn't cry. Perhaps the numbness helped me through that. However, I would now like to congratulate all my friends. You guys did a great job! Keep it up! But don't be discouraged if otherwise because life goes on, tomorrow is another day and the sun with still shine!

Finally, DEDICATIONS!! Firstly, I wanna thank God for helping me in everything in my life - including this SPM exam. Secondly, I wanna thank my mom and dad for their devoted encouragement and advice - you've been with me through ups and downs and words aren't enough to express my gratitude for all your unconditional love. Next, I wanna thank all my friends - you guys brighten up my high school days and i'll never ever forget that. All of you have helped me, one way or another in voyaging through high school life and I wanna thank you for that. Xin Ling, Patsy, Michelle, Angelin, Kar Pei, Yi Lyn, Audelia and everyone in 5 Arif - my life would never be the same without you and you guys make me believe that there is some good left in this world - Car pooling and tuitoring me when i'm stuck - thank you so much. Next, I'd wanna thank my tuition teachers : Pn Oh for coaching me in my BM - you're the best! and Ms Lee for helping me in Add Maths. Next, I wanna thank my school teachers: Pn Cheah - for being blur and funny and making add maths so much fun! Mr Oung - for being down-right-sarcastic in class - also for guiding us in our short stories. Mr Koay, Ms Koay, Pn Choo, Pn Latha, Pn Salmah & Pn Hafizah - thank you for the SPM analysis that helped me tremendously during my stressful revision. The teachers in CGL are the BEST!!

**If anyone of you is planning some sort of gathering..count me in! =)

XOXO

The Anticipation...

2009-03-11T21:18:00.002+08:00

So..it's time..time to...be doomed... hehehe..ok..i'm being too pessimistic..
It's time to.. get a piece of paper that has grade printings on it - SPM results.. now that doesn't sound so bad..does it? At least it's better than 'doomed'.. =)

I'm just here to wish all my friends "All the very BEST in your SPM results".

No doubt that the anticipation is killing me! But I'm still in one piece.. of course I feel nervous - it's only about 13 hours till D-time! It's actually perfect timing that i bought the 3rd book of the Twilight saga on Sunday..reading the book keeps me occupied and so, I don't think of D-day that much..pheww!

So..that's all.. There's no reason to be panic or worried.. because what's done is done and I believed we've all put in our best effort on this major exam..so let go and let God.. =)

All the Best u guys! =)

Friends + Food + Gossip = A Great Gathering!!

2009-02-24T13:57:00.006+08:00

Last Friday was a GREAT day..

I woke up at 8 am knowing that the day will be anything but boring...
I was going to meet up with my closes friends in school for breakfast!!

At about 9.10 am - everyone was there - Michelle, Kar Pei, Angelin, Xin Ling & myself - and to my surprise, Chee Lee burst out from her hiding place behind a car! It felt good to be surrounded by people that I've been mingling with for years...the familiarity; the chemistry and the warmth - an invisible, almost magical thread that connects us : friendship.

We enjoyed our breakfast in the canteen where we were soon delighted by the presence of Audelia and her mom... Char Koay Teow was the most popular food choice, followed by curry and roti canai - Mmmm.. the typical recess-time-food in CGL's canteen.. yummy!! *thumbs up! I really missed CGL's canteen food!*

While enjoying our food, we also updated one another with stories...aka...gossip... hee...
There were loads of interesting stories reported by Chee Lee - she's like the CNN channel for our 'discussion'... =P But to think of it...the 'news' was kinda gross too...However, I'm not going to elaborate on that because I wouldn't want to get into trouble and also, I do not want to throw up!

Meanwhile, Kar Pei took some pictures of our food.. ( u can check it out on her blog) .. and I began to chat with Aude about the anime that i'm currently following - Nodame Cantabile. =)

After that, we roamed the school and we managed to trail our former form teacher, Pn Cheah to the lower secondary block by following the sound of her voice..hahaha.. (hint: she uses a voice amplifier during her lesson). Then, we went down the corridor to meet Pn Rajes...she's still teaching 'pendidikan moral' as usual and she walked out of the class to have a chat.. She's definitely a teacher with a sense of humour! She caught a sight of Kar Pei's fashionable nails ( i think..or someone's hair ) and then she said : Wahh..now you all do whatever also we cannot do anything already... we all laughed (hint: Pn Rajes was a discipline teacher in my school - so she's obviously very particular about the presentability of the students!)

Next, we visited the staffroom - one glance and I could tell that my mentors are still as dedicated as ever. They were delighted to see us - Pn Oh, Pn Cheah, Ms Chow, Pn Latha, Pn Salmah, Pn Lim Li Li & Pn Hafizah...we had a moment of fellowship with them and I realise the one common thing that they say : Wahh..so..results coming out soon huh... then we were like : Haiyohh..teacher ahh..please don't reminds us lahh! =P

Last but not least, all of us (minus Aude coz she went home after breakfast) took a picture outside the staffroom for remembrance - the excitement was coming to an end...
But before we went our separate ways, each of us hugged Chee Lee (so sweet) ... and in our hearts, we knew that high school moments would be one of the best times of our life.

from left to right : Angelin, Michelle, Chee Lee, Me, Xin Ling & Kar Pei (front)

Despite all that, however, I do feel a slight tinge of dissapointment... sometimes I think I know someone - but well, I guess I didn't know them that well after all. Maybe I knew them...once. But they've changed. I know it's not my place to judge because I heard about them through someone else... But after all is said and done, at the end of the day it's up to them to decide what they make of their lifes. We can only do or say so much... Even so, to me, friendship lasts forever...and to all my friends... I love u guys!! I hope we can hang out again soon!! =)

XOXO!!

Experiment

2009-02-16T14:41:00.010+08:00

Currently, the word experiment brings me back to the day - about a week ago, when i first tried out the recipe for cornflakes cookies given to me by a friend of my mom's. It all started on the first day of CNY...I took out the vast variety of cookies and started munching on them, one by one. Just right after my first bite on the cornflake cookie, the taste made my eyes pop! I could tell there was a slight, glorious scent of vanilla essence; the pastry was smooth, buttery and it melted in my mouth while the rich golden coloured cornflakes was so crispy that it made a comforting crunchy sound that was so loud till i couldn't hear the TV... That was the moment that my craving for cornflakes cookies begin! I finished the whole jar in no time (OBVIOUS!!) - and all too soon, I ran out of them...

Now I had a BIG problem...I needed MORE cookies!! I was hooked! It was like an addiction - minus the cold shivers & irrationality of junkies, of course. Bottled up with determination, I vowed to myself that I would find the recipe for cornflakes cookies and make them myself - then I would have all the cookies I want, at a much reasonable price!

So, the experiment begin. I got all the ingredients : butter, flour, sugar, eggs, baking powder, vanilla essence and I was ready to begin...until i had weighed everything then I suddenly realise the ingredient that was the most important - and to my misfortune, it was also the one ingredient that had slipped off my mind while shopping for them! Of course! "We forgot the cornflakes!!!", i exclaimed. Cornfakes cookies without cornflakes... My mom & I instantly burst into laughter. Wow, the experiment started off "well" didn't it?... =P

My mom offered to buy me the cornflakes - thank goodness that she only had to walk across a lane to get them at Sunshine Jelutong! At last, i have all the ingredients - this time none was lacking. Since I had some experience in baking cakes, the steps weren't at all difficult. But when the mixture for the pastry had been prepared, I found out that it was too much - if all the cookies from the pastry were successfully baked, I guess I would have about 6 or more containers of cookies! Oh my... So, my mom and I decided that we would give some away if we had too much - that is if they taste good! I wouldn't want to humiliate myself into the next century with lousy cookies!

1st trial - Not edible. The cookies were somehow soft on the inside-kinda like cake. Is there such thing known as a cake-cookie? Well if there isn't, I think I've just invented it! My mom & I figured that perhaps the pastry was to 'wet' and we needed to add more flour. [Failure.] =(

2nd trial - Not edible. This time the cookies turned dark brown - like they were barbequed instead of baked... We decided to lower down the temperature from 180 to 150 degrees in the next trial. [Failure.] =(

3rd trial - I eagerly peeked at the cookies while they were being baked. The colour looked just perfect - the alluring golden-brown colour...but what about the texture? After cooling, I had a piece of it in my mouth...and walahh! It was my magnum opus!! Hooray! It's Edible! perfection at last! [Success.] =)

In the end, we managed to bake 3 jars of edible cornflakes cookies. So, I guess the pastry wasn't too much after all..after so many experiments, only about half the pastry made it to become cookies. Hahaha.. I wish I had taken some pictures of the ruined and edible cookies to see how the they evolved from lousy to thumbs-up, but i have neither of them now. The ruined ones are probably burried in the dumpsite and the edible ones have already been digested.. Hee.. =P

At first, I was cracking my head to find a title for this post...and when i finally found one..many thoughts start to sprout in my mind...

What is the first thought that pops into your head when you say or hear the word 'experiment'? For myself, usually, a picture of plant cells, glass slides, microscopes and test tubes filled with rainbow colours would appear in my mind in a fracture of a second after the word had been interpreted by my brain - a typical picture of a scientific experiment. But to think of it, my whole life itself had been and will continue to be an experiment! Life is all about learning from experiments. From the day we were born...we have been experimenting all sorts of things - learning to stand, crawl & finally walk without tumbling - how 'sweet', 'salty', 'bitter' and 'sour' tastes like - how to distinguish the feeling of 'hot' and 'cold' - learning how to ride a bike - the feeling of pain when you scrape your knees for the first time - writing alphabets A to Z & numbers 1 to 10 - lab tests in school - how different pets like fish, hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, sugar gliders, cats and dogs adapt and behave differently - figuring out the different characters between people - learning how to control a car...the effectiveness of the accelerator, brake and clutch and also, learning how to bake edible cookies... =P

Life, is in fact an endless experiment where we make mistakes - like parallex errors that affect the results of a test. But the most interesting, exciting and sometimes, painful part of Life's experiment is when we learn from those mistakes - the learning that will mould us from what we were into what we are and what we will be...

** Hmm..seems like nobody knows where to get pepper spray! I've only seen them in American movies! Can someone please let me know if they've seen it anywhere in the malls?...Thanks!
And for the record, there are a few new pictures that I would like to share... They're not cookie pictures, but I hope you guys will enjoy doggie pics! Check them out in my photo reel! =)

Resurfacing

2009-02-07T11:19:00.003+08:00

In relation with the title of this post, i am indeed resurfacing out of my ignorance and actually making time to post something since my long absence..

So.. first of all.. HI! - i believe it's always polite to greet whoever that may be reading this.. =)
UPDATES..what have i been up to recently?

1. I collected angpows =)

2. I had a great feast! - steamboat, carbonated drinks, cookies and honey mandarins.. * i wonder how many kg i gained! But gaining weight is something that makes me happy..hihi..*

3. I am currently a Malaysian driver who's under probation =) *hint - i didn't pass the first time; but who cares?!*

4. I guess I qualify for the status : Couch Potatoe!!
Hahaha ~ here's the story: in december, my dad decided to terminate our Astro subscription as he got super sick of the programmes on APL (Animal Planet) that kept on repeating. So, my dad went to the Astro office and requested his subscription to be terminated the following month. However, the person incharged made him an offer that he just couldn't say no to.. he was offered 2 months of subscription for all the channels at the same price which is RM49.90 per month! Of course it was all just a decoy or gimic to lure us into the continuity of the Astro subscription after we're hooked to the screen..but why not? I am currently on a long break and I need all the time-killing-activities that i can get my hands on! So most of the time, i'll be sprawling my leather couch, flicking the channels and then i'll be absorbed into the movies on HBO, Cinemax and Star Movies.. To my surprise, the movies that go on air are actually quite recent ones and they don't repeat that often! - so yeah..that's how i became a couch potatoe.. =P

**Some good movies i've watched so far : World Trade Centre, Enchanted, National Treasure 2 (Nicholas Cage was so 'yeng'!), The Covenant, Casino Royale..many more that i currently can't recall..

5. Today, i had the first taste of driving an auto car! Oh my.. Thank God for auto cars! it's seriously so much easier that it makes driving a manual car look simply ridiculous!

6. I've been reading for pleasure =)

7. I've been tidying my room

8. I've been doing house chores =)

9. I've been watching DVDs - just last night I watched a movie entitled 'Taken'. A friend of my dad said it was a nice movie and he borrowed it to my dad. So the whole family - my dad, mom and myself - watched the movie. It was an anticipating movie with a very intriguing, mind-boggling story line. It centres around a father that goes all out to safe his 17-year-old daughter who has been abducted into the human trafficking industry. If u know what human trafficking means... it scares me even thinking about it! - it is human trading - especially teenage girls into slavery and prostitution. In the movie, the happenings were based in Paris, France. The 'business' as they term it is controlled by Albanians that came into Paris years ago. And believe it or not - the French police is associated with this 'bussiness' - the Albanians have to give a certain percentage of the profit they make out of human trafficking to the police officers as an exchange for smoother operation. In the movie, 2 girls namely Kim & Amanda decide to go to Paris for vacation; that's what Kim told her dad. But actually, they were going to follow U2's concert tour around Europe all by themselves. Her dad agrees reluctantly after much persuasion and they were off toParis in no time. To cut the story short, Kim's dad goes on a hunt to find his daughter after her abduction in Paris and in order to do that, he uses all his skills he'd acquired while he was working in the American Secret Service. He has to break the law too as the French policemen can do nothing - or should I say won't do anything! So after the movie, I suddenly have the urge to find out where i can get some pepper spray?.. please let me know if u know where to get them.. but most of all..the moral i've learnt from this story : ~ there's evil all around us ~ the only person I can rely on at all times is God ~ we must listen to our parents & keep them informed of our whereabouts ~ and things are not always what they seem.

10. I'm looking forward to Chap Goh Meh for more fireworks!!! =)

That's so much about me..hope i didn't bore anyone with this long post.. but well..i have too much to say after such long silence! hehehe.. peace out!!

Hot Stuff

2009-01-13T20:33:00.004+08:00

Well, well..it seems like BGR topic is really 'hot stuff' to comment on.. LOL!

Patsy..good job.. =)

Pretty soon, i'll come up with BGR *Joyce's version* .. tune in to read about it! muahahaha..
The post will be based on a true story..but i'll add some other details with a tinge of Joycie-ness to it..like the names, for example..i can't use Eddie, Jo and Helen..or else.. Patsy will sue me! hahaha..

TODAY..
It was another early day..i had to wake up at about 7.15 am to get ready for my driving lessons with Yi Lyn.. the instructor was supposed to come fetch me at 8am..

I waited for them..and suddenly i received an sms - it was my instructor! Apparently, he was unable to contact Yi Lyn..so i told him that i would call her..

I called YL on her 1st number without success, and so i called her on her 2nd number..and to my relieve, she answered.. i was like : Yi Lyn! He's waiting for u! Where r u now? and guess what YL said? She said: S***!! I just woke up!! my reaction?? : WHAT THE H***?? and so, at last i had to wait for her for about 30 minutes before YL, Aude and the instructor arrived to fetch me..

The first thing i said when i entered the car was - Yi Lyn!! I'm so gonna kill U!!! But well, despite all that..at least YL bought me a cool tin of Sarsi when we were having our break.. =) and what else?..besides buying me a cool drink *as compensation for my waiting earlier* ...she also spilled her jar of beans - her u-know-lah stories & the case of the freaky driving instructor.. i wouldn't wanna elaborate on the freaky story because it's currently giving my goosebumps..eewwh! But somehow..the freak-i-ness only happens to her..hehehe.. lucky me!

Driving was really fun..i was assigned a car & the insturctor did not sit in with me! All by myself! yay!! So far..all's good..but i need to get the different routes right..memory power!! Besides, i'm so glad that i'm having all my future lessons with Aude! =)

I'm gonna work on the BGR post soon! I must get my wacky, funny and sarcastic hat on! Inspiration comes when it comes..and my light bulb incredulously brightens up when i'm not in the mood to write or when...i'm with a bunch of friends chatting on the topic & the downright-sarcastically-hilarious words would just spill out of my mouth! yeah - ridiculously timing!

Unbelievable!!

2009-01-12T10:30:00.002+08:00

I've been dreading 11th January for like 2 days.. honestly..i've been pretty worried about the QTI test on sunday..because i'm really not ready..at least that what i think!..

But well..we've got to do what we've got to do right? So yes..i did take the QTI thing on sunday..

And guess how it went?? Until now..i still can't 100% believe myself!!

I passed the test! I mean..really! It turned out that it's just like a normal driving practise..just that there's the 'penilai' watching u from an elevated booth..err..was he even watching? i'm can't tell for sure..hehehe..

Even so, i still need to focus more on my 'naik bukit'..i need to brake at the right spot!! Despite all that..the real test isn't over yet..there's more to come..it's the highest and last hurdle of this driving stuff..so i really have to nail it!!

Testing Date: 20th January 2009.. *shivers!!*

Absolutely Ridiculous!!

2009-01-08T17:46:00.003+08:00

Today..my driving instructor smsed me and guess what? It turns out that this Sunday, i'll be taking the "fake test"..as he termed it..this is just absolutely ridiculous!! So far, i've only took lessons once..and during that lesson..i only did the 3 point turn and parking..i totally didn't have a chance to check out the slope!!

I really hope that we'll still have a little time for lessons on sunday before the test..i mean..i'm not genetically programmed to know how to handle a car! So..i guess we'll see what happens on sunday..i dare not even think of the outcome!

Well..time for me to let go and let God.. =)

All the very best to me and all my friends that are going for the test..*Kar Pei, Patsy & Angelin*..

Hello 2009!!

2009-01-01T19:52:00.009+08:00

It's the 1st day of the new year people! so.. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!

Hmmm.. so what are my new year resolutions?? Let's see.. err..

Be an overnight billionaire , Date a celebrity boyfriend , Rid the world of injustice and Save the planet with my superhero powers??!
well..to be honest..i would; if i could =)

Naw..I wouldn't wanna get over confident now, would I?..hahaha..*not to mention that it's nearly or more accurately, totally impossible!*

I guess this year i'll try to..
1. Deepen and widen my faith+knowledge in my spiritual life..
2. Spend more time with family
3. Be a skilled driver.. but first, i have to be a legal one! =P
4. Do well in my future studies.. *prays*
5. Stay healthy
6. Keep in touch with all my good friends
7. Visit the cinema more often *smiles!*
8. Stay positive at all times..

To put all my resolutions in one..i would say that my new year resolution is to become a better person altogether.. =)

I pray that all of you, my friends, will be greatly blessed with all good things this new year.. God bless all of you! Once again, Happy New Year 2009! Let's leave the past behind, cherish meaningful events and sail through new waves of life with high spirits!! =)

Hugs!

A "cold" Christmas Indeed!!

2008-12-28T10:54:00.002+08:00

I've been stuck with cold..u know as in the running nose and a little cough - for 4 days now.. but i'm much, much better today.. *smiles!*

So...christmas wasn't as much fun as i had anticipated..but well..is was certainly pretty fun sprawling on my couch and watching hour after hour of christmas movies!! =)

Yesterday night i went to Tesco's Popular bookstore to check out the book that i wanted..but as expected, Eclipse - the 3rd book of the Twilight saga is still not available..but i was glad to have bought the latest edition of Galaxie!

Here's the very funny celeb gossip that i read..

UNCLEAN VAMPIRE : Twilight star Robert Pattinson may be putting his newfound status as a hunk at risk after he confessed to a dirty secret. Robert apparently doesn't like to wash his hair. "I don't have much a sense of personal hygiene or styling or anything. I gave up washing it a while back," Robert revealed. Ladies, you better think twice (in my case, i wouldn't even think about it now that i know..) about running your fingers through the star's luscious locks because it's dirt and grime that's keeping it in shape. -galaxie-

Ok..now that's gross!! I hope whoever reading this is not having breakfast, lunch or dinner or chewing on anything in their mouths!! hehehe.. seriously, he looks so much better in the movies! & i guess he's more hygenic in the movies too! =P

I can hear Jingle Bells!!

2008-12-23T17:00:00.004+08:00

wow..it's easy to believe that time flies, but at the same time it's hard to perceive! It has been a week since my last post and Christmas is only days away!!

Christmas is a wonderful time of the year to look back at all that i've been through the whole year..it's a time of giving, receiving and a time of reunion.. but most of all, this time of the year reminds me of the true meaning of Christmas - it's not about Santa Claus, reindeers, gifts and trees.. it's all about Jesus! He came as a sacrifice so that i could be redeemed forever! =)

Christmas reminds me of snow and snowflakes - something that i plan to see in the near future!! and although it's the cold, chilly winter season, i truly believe the warmth of a giving heart will embrace u and me this Christmas !!

Enjoy the remaining days of 2008 guys!!

what a lovely fireplace.. [image source : flikr.com]

XOXO =)

The Challenges of Future Drivers..

2008-12-16T11:44:00.012+08:00

OK..i'll try to summarize the events that took place last week..here goes..

#1. Friday, 12 Dec 2008
Undang-undang Jalan Raya test ~ for the whole week before friday, i've been doing things other than reading my KPP book.. for example.. eating, sleeping, chatting, blogging, hanging out with friends to the mall, and most of all..reading Twilight - so it was really a last-minute revision for the test on friday.. i did the exercises on the CD only once as i thought that there was only 1 sample test * swt!! ..all my friends practiced more times than me!! some even did more than 10 times! they freaked me out when they told me on friday morning! ..*

So..we reached the centre (the one opposite USM) at bout 8 a.m. and we were among the earliest..Audelia, Angelin and me arrived before Yi Lyn, Kar Pei, Patsy and Kirthiga.. some were still reading their KPP books and practising the exercises on the 'buku latihan'..but some of us were just taking things easy and chatting bout Twilight..hahaha.. we asked Audelia to sit in front of the entrance so that the order of the test would work to our advantage.. *only later did we realize that it was the smartest thing we'd done!! - who would want to endure the tantrums of that old lady? It's either she's having her PMS or her husband ran off with some other woman as said by Yi Lyn..haha..but at last, we found out she's not married.."I wonder why?"..hahaha..* Yes..our group was the 1st one to enter the computer room..we lined up in front of the counter - with an old lady sitting on her chair.. we were shocked when she told us not to stand near her camera tripod to avoid any accidents (in hokkien) with her voice harsh and merciless!! my jaw dropped and i was like ' what's wrong with her? what's her problem?!' ..and there goes the cheery atmosphere that we had before we entered the centre.. Audelia was the 1st one up to get her thumbprints and take her photo..but in the midst of the thumbprinting process there were some complications - her thumbprints did not match those in her IC!! To make things worse, the lady was expectedly aggitated and furious with the situation.. she said that Aude had to call the people from the driving school and make a 'mycard' or something..and it cost her RM20! Then, the rest of us went in to take our test smoothly.. it seemed like we were more afraid of the grumpy old lady then the test itself!! Silently, i prayed in my heart that all things would proceed with success and thank god; it did!! To cut things short, all of us passed the test with flying colours and we were embarking on our next journey - the 3-hour theory course..

All of us (except Kar Pei) were then dropped off at Queensbay mall for lunch..yup that's right.. QB! (that was certainly unexpected!) ..we had lunch at KFC and after that we roamed the mall..and spent most of our time in Borders.. =) Next, we were brought to a centre at Batu Maung for the theory course..the guy giving the talk was a chinese and he was intimidating!! His mission was to talk less and ask more - which meant that we (the students) would have to answer his questions..he'd made it clear that no one would escape his questioning and he forbid us to answer either "I forgot" or "I don't know"..so all of us were interogated and i'm truly grateful that we survived..althought i just simply gave him a ridiculous answer so that he would move on to the next person..muahaha.. when all was over for the day, i arrived home at about 8 pm!! The whole day went pass in a blur and a new day was silently awaiting in expectance..

#2. Saturday, 13 Dec 2008
3-hour Practical course ~ it was another early day for all of us..it felt like waking up to go to school! only that the lesson wasn't surrounded by books, but cars instead..we (Angelin, Audelia, Yi Lyn, Patsy and me) were gathered at the Batu Maung driving centre.. i heard that there were limited instructors for the course and the guy that fetched us there was trying his best to get us someone to coach us..and once again, i'm grateful to god that all of us managed to survive.. =)
Yi Lyn was the 1st to actually drive a car..and she 'mati enjin' more than 10 times!.. *Patsy and I kept track..but we lost count after 10..hihi *

As for me..i got this old man as my teacher.. he said (in hokkien):let's go out to the road..
I was like : OK..and i got into the passenger seat..he drove out to the road and stopped at the side and then he said: U go sit in the driver's seat..

And i was like:WHAT?! I don't even have my L license yet; all my friends are practising in the circuit and u want me - a first timer to drive on the road?!! You've got to be kidding me!!
But of course, i didn't say that out loud..i just obediently followed his instructions..so there i was.. alone with him, driving on the road - dangerous with swift-moving vehicles..and i thought of all my friends, driving within the circuit - safe, steady and slow.. I was confused and disturbed at the thought..but well..i've gotta drive on the road sooner or later..so i guess i got the "special" treatment that i didn't so much appreciated.. =)

All in all..it was an exciting and invigorating experience to meddle with the gear and drive on the road - it's the best vehicle to be in, seriously..no one will honk at you and everyone will give you your way..hahaha.. so that's so much about my first driving experience.. =) I had so much fun going through it with my friends as we chatted non-stop and created so many inside jokes!! hihihi..

#3. 14 Dec 2008
Yes!! I managed to buy New Moon at Tesco's Popular with a 25% discount! Final price:RM29.60 =) However, i'm gonna read Twilight for the 2nd time before i start with New Moon.. so now, i have a whole new book to look forward to! =)

A note to ALL my friends: Enjoy the hols u guys!! God bless YOU!!

XOXO

Twilight

2008-12-09T11:04:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was the day where i finally got to watch Twilight!! =) Hmm..comments? Well..the movie was ok..i must say that Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan was kinda stiff..but Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen was certainly the vampire of the century! =)

For Patsy, it was her 2nd time watching Twilight..but she didn't mind watching it again with us (Aude, Ange and me)..thanks Pat!! However..since she's already read the book and watched the movie once..she was able to recite the dialogues of the movie..yup..she got on Aude nerves..hahaha.. but well.. i guess it wasn't really boring for her as she got to sink her teeth into Jasper Hale.. hihihi.. *he looks like he's in pain!! And ohh..Carlisle is hot! * =)

All in all, the movie was just ok.. but the book is fantastic!!! Take my word for it..get the book!.. But i guess the book with the original cover of Twilight (the one with the apple) is currently out of stock..I guess i got lucky when i went to buy the original Twilight at Tesco's Popular! =) Even the 2nd book, New Moon is currently out of stock in Popular and MPH Gurney!! argh..if not, i would have bought New Moon yesterday.. =( But no worries.. it'll be in MPH in 2 weeks time..at least that's what i heard from the person in charged..

Speaking of vampires..that creepy message still gives me the chills! On sunday night, i received an email that notified me that i had a new message in my Facebook account..so i went to check it out..the message was sent by some stranger..a guy..and guess what it said.. "I'm your vampire"
I was like..yikes!! and a sharp surge of chilliness ran through my spine! it was so creepy that i'm having goosebumps now.. i was chatting with Patsy at that time and told her about the message..she said..

Patsy: Who is it? Robert Pattinson?
Me: No lahh..if it were Robert Pattinson.. i wouldn't be chatting with u d.. I would have fainted!!*laughs*
Patsy: Hahahaha..

So what happened next?.. I did what i always do with nonsensical messages.. just ignore them!! Because ignorance is bliss.. =) To all Twilight fans out there.. cheers!!

Boring!!

2008-12-05T20:54:00.007+08:00

Well..u might have guessed what's boring..yup..it's that 5-hour driving course i attended yesterday.. but i'm so..so..so..so.. glad that i went with a bunch of friends!! =) It was a really long wait when we arrived at the cemerlang driving school..we waited for like 45 minutes for the person in charged to call our names, get our thumb prints and enter class..

And when we entered the class, we were like OMG.. wat the.. the class was almost full and there were only a few seats left..scattered all over the place.. well..no doubt that our plan to sit together was shattered.. =( and i had 2 sit in the 1st row with Aude and Ange.. cannot sleep!! coz that was the most vulnerable and obvious spot to be caught sleeping!! But well..i guess it was a good thing.. =)

The 1st lecturer was..hmm..only 1 word to describe him..no actually two.. boring!! & long-winded!! argh..he was so slow coz he kept talking on the same point!! hey mister..we get the point!..we're not deaf or dumb k?

But..thank goodness that the 2nd lecturer was a funny dude..we kept laughing throughout his class..and he even threatened to ask us questions regarding his lesson after the class..each person must answer his question correctly, if not they were not allowed to leave..ok..now that's scary..but i must say..what an effective tactic to keep us all attentive and awake!! but at the end..he didn't have that terrorising question-answer session with us..i guess he was just scaring us..haha.. and now..i have to read the KPP book and practice the exercises on the CD.. and i just bought my Twilight book yesterday!! =) haih..i'll have to manage my time to read both books.. but i'll have to really revise my KPP book..although i'm so tempted to read Twilight.. =) hey.. would u feel more tempted to read Twilight or that KPP book if i placed both books right in front of u??..of coz u'll grab Twilight mer!! hihihi.. =P

A series of Events..busy, busy me!

2008-12-03T15:48:00.004+08:00

Okay..i'll start with monday, 1 Dec 2008..
My friends and I went to Dewan Sri Pinang to attend a concert by Jammin' Sensation & Penang Down Syndrome Associaition (PDSA).. it was real fun! =) the concert started at 7.30pm..& I had no idea that i would end at such a late hour! Basically, I was there to support a good friend of my, Patsy.. she was playing keyboard instruments and she was great! =) however..I had to wait for like..so long for her to finally appear on stage! Before that, my delicate ears were tortured by someone..someone familiar..and she's from my school! There was a performance and the team was playing the song Apologize by One Republic..Michelle and I were like.."Yay!! Ahh!".. the intro was being played..it was good..but then someone started to sing! Then i was like.."is that Jessica?".. OMG! it really was her! it was like the ELS Singing Competition all over again! Ahh! But well..although she tortured my ears..her partner was good..*phew!* and it was fun laughing with all my friends..all feeling ticklish inside!..haha.. yup!..i was having goosebumps!

Fast forward to 2nd Dec..
It was steamboat gathering day!! Yay! Quite a number of us turned up! There was of course Yi Lyn (how can she not be there?!), Kar Pei, Patsy, Angelin, Tracia, Sue Lyn, Beatrice, Melinda, Jayme, Audelia + mom, Vern Lim (the thorn among roses..coz he was the only guy present!),Julin and me..did i miss anyone?..hehe.. the BBQ was fun!! ..although the margarine kept on spurting all over the place..even on our skin! Ouch! =) But well..we all had a great time BBQ-ing, eating..and most of all we had a great time chatting! But actually..the fun and excitement only really began after someone went home..hihihi..the rest of us went to Yi Lyn's house and much was revealed! oohh.. all the gossiping and sharing of experiences..yup..now that's real chatting! =)

Plans on driving courses and lessons were also discussed and made.. And the result?.. Yi Lyn, Kar Pei, Patsy, Angelin, Kirthiga, Aude and me are going to attend the course together! =) thank goodness! If not it'll be super boring and i might fall asleep! So..the course is scheduled on Thursday (which is tomorrow!) and well..this week has been crazy so far!! Busy, busy me!

But well..i'm really glad that I can continue spending time with my close friends even after we've left school.. =) I'm looking forward to the movie marathon that's coming up soon !! Twilight! =)

Hope to have more gatherings in the future!! Love u guys!!

Freedom Is... SWEET!!

2008-11-30T18:09:00.002+08:00

Well..the only thing i can say about the SPM examinations is.. TIME FLIES!!

I've been hoping for SPM to be over & done with for like...FOREVER!!! (come on..who doesn't?!)& now it really is over! ..but i'm surprised to say that i feel a little 'aimless' now..

I guess i've been living under my books for too long...hahaha! *all the books are going to be permanently 'shipped away' from my study room..hehehe..*

But to think of it..there's PLENTY to do!! Christmas and Chinese New Year is coming up! How can there be 'nothing' to do?! and also..i'm not a legal driver yet!! =)

Well..since the 'academic' part (SPM) is over..(for now)..i've gotta catch up on my living skills.. cooking, driving & stuff.. it's gonna be fun!!

i'm certainly looking forward to going to the movies with my friends & getting some good books.. this is really 'The Life' after SPM..well..it only comes around once in a lifetime! & so..let's enjoy it to the maxx people! =)

7 Targets Down & 3 More To Go!!

2008-11-21T10:05:00.006+08:00

7/10 x 100% = 70%..so that means that there's only (100 - 70)% = 30% of "battling" to go!!

So far, we (science students) have sat for 7 out of 10 subjects of the SPM examinations! yippy!! =) The days that have gone by were certainly not easy ones..not to mention that we actually sat for 7 hours of exam on 1 single day!! imagine the torture to our butts and poor hands!!

How could they schedule BM 1, BM2 and Sejarah together?!! It's madness!! But well..i'm glad that the worst is over..*as in..the most tiring day..*

However, Physics, Bio and EST are on their way..so let's get out our "battling gears" and get ready for our final facedowns!! =)

All the best people!!

All Good Things Must Come to an End..

2008-11-07T11:02:00.014+08:00

Yesterday was the last day of schooling for the 5th formers of SMK CGL..we all knew what was coming..the hand-shake, hugging & best wishes session with all the teachers! i can still recall the moment when my seniors had to part with the school..i was thinking "Wow..we're gonna be in their shoes 1 year from now!"..and undeniably, time flies & how we've grown! It's now time to part with teachers, friends and our beloved alma mater..

Our class was the second last class to bid our last goodbye to our dedicated teachers..surprisingly, not many people cried this year as compared to last year! So, my friend, Clarissa said "wahh..u all have hearts made of steel one meh?!" So, I was in line..waiting for my turn to greet the teachers..then, i saw Patsy crying! OMG..i would have to say that I cry easily when i see other people crying.. i mustered all my courage & held back tears that were welling up in my eyes..but when i came to Pn Salmah..she was all tears! she's a very kind & nice teacher..although it was really boring during sejarah..but no..i was not crying yet..my eyes were just a little watery..so then i came to Pn Cheah..she too was all tears as she was our form teacher..& she was like "Ai yoo..no tissue d!" then the teacher beside her said "Nah..here got tissue"..haha..she hugged me & that was when i tried my very best not to cry..then we came to the guy teachers..hmm..they all surely did not cry! all trying to act cool & manly..hahaha..

yes! i've managed to shake & hug the teachers without tears!! But who knew..The only thing so predictable about life is its unpredictablility *quoted from Remy in Ratatouille* =P

After all was said and done..sadness suddenly struck my heart & there i was - in tears..my BFF, Xin Ling had managed to go through the session without any tears but when she saw me she too couldn't help it..so there we were - both crying..sobbing.. But well..of course we didn't just stand there & flooded the school! =P

All the 5th formers then started their final quest for autographs, initials & photographs.. As for me, i took many photographs with my friends..& teachers..we then had a 'taklimat SPM' after recess & Pn Lim Li Li's taklimat was so funny! After that, more pictures were taken & more autographs were signed..it was really exhausting! now i know how a model feels - posing for the camera all day!

At the very end of the day which was at 1.10 pm - time to go home..a few friends came up to me and said "Joyce, can i hug you?" .."of course u can!!"..i remembered hugging Janice! =)

then Patsy was in tears again..& she hugged me..ohh! i wanted to cry too! then, i hugged Xin Ling with BFF style! haha..we then said our final goodbyes & all the best..

For every meeting is the beginning of parting..

For every story must have an ending..

For every journey must have a destination..

For every race there must be a finish line..
And so every good thing must come to an end..

No matter what, I always cherish & treasure the good times we've had together & lets all keep in touch! I love u guys! =)

A few random pictures..sorry don't have time to post all of them!

Me & Xin Ling ..BFFs! =)

The Joyces: Joyce Lim & Joyce Teh =P

Elaine, Jing Jing, Xin Ling & Me

All the people from Ms Lee's tuition =)

Me & Mr Oung - the dramatic english teacher..lol

Me & Pn Cheah - our form teacher..love her!

Me & Pn Oh - my ex-BM teacher & tuition teacher =)

Me & Julin - miss smarty pants!

Me & Clarissa - ex-kindy mate & no.1 HSM fan!

Patsy - my godsis & Me =) luv ya lots!

Me & Beatrice - the sweet gal =)

A Tribute To Man's Best Friend.. =)

2008-11-05T16:04:00.007+08:00

Hey all! How's everyone coping with SPM stress?? Hmm..i don't know about you.. but from what i've experienced, mingling with my pets can really take my mind off things..especially exam tension! Sometimes when i'm at school..i do feel tired and stressed up..and for us - students, these things seem to escalate when exams are nearing..what more when it's now SPM - the final lap of our race!!..This is what we've been preparing for since we stepped into the realm of education!..But, I really thank God for all his guidance, strength & wisdom in everything I do..not forgetting my parents that have been and will always be there when i need them..last but certainly not least..my dog.. silently, she's been helping me cope with my stress! and how ?..u ask..well, simple.. everyday when i come back from school, she'll be loyally awaiting my return..she be walking right up to me the moment the door is opened wide enough for her little plump body to squeeze through! Without fail, she always manages to carve a smile on my face..

Then..when i'm studying or revising school work, she'll sometimes lie down beside my table & accompany me..*aww..how sweet of her!* Not only that, we even play all sorts of games..eg hit-me-bite-me, hide and seek & fetch! Although she can't talk (obviously)..i sometimes talk to her about..stuff..i don't know if she understands..but i guess talking to her makes me feel nice and comfy.. =) So..wanna take your mind off something? Get a dog!! Haha..just kidding! Hope u like the pics! *warning : i'm an amature photographer!* =P

*A dog is a man's best friend!*

My dog likes to enjoy the view of city lights on our balcony..=)
This is a 'spy cam' pic..i tip toed so that she can't hear me & i
secretly snapped! hehehe..

~ my mom took this photo..=) ~

XOXO,

Lady & Me! =)

The 'Black Pearl' Of The World..xD

2008-11-04T14:26:00.004+08:00

We were in the physics lab when this randomly crazy joke cracked..haha!
I saw a shiny dark grey bead that looked like a little pearl at my spot on the long desk..so i picked it up..

Me: Ohh..I've found the pearl of the world!! *Cheh wah..as if lah I'm Kino..haha*

Patsy & Xin Ling: *sweat* Hahahaha..

Patsy: Yeah..a black pearl..hehe..

Me: *admires the pearl..or should i say the bead!*

Patsy: Hmmm..then your name should be Kina d..not Kino..*because the founder of 'the pearl' is now a girl..unlike the founder who is a man (Kino) in the novel The Pearl*

Me & Xin Ling: HAHAHAHA!!

For those of you who don't know..there are 2 pairs of husband & wife in 5 Arif..the "angs & bohs"..hahaha.. Pair #1 is Joyce(husband) & Xin Ling(wife) and Pair #2 is Angelin(husband) & Patsy(wife)..i really can't remember how we decided who's the husband or wife..but i think i became the 'husband' because Xin Ling's hair was way longer than mine! haha..=)

Me:..Then Xin Ling should be Juano d..not Juana..hahaha..*in the novel, Juana is Kino's wife..but now Juano is Kina's husband...hahaha!*

Patsy & Xin Ling: HAHAHAHAHA!

Wow..how we've changed the story!! the 'husband' is now a 'girl' & the 'wife' is now a 'guy'...Hahaha
Now i guess you see my point when i say that this joke is very random..my point exactly!!

"Laughter is the best medicine!" =)

One Of The Last Few Days of English with Mr Oung...

2008-10-30T20:30:00.007+08:00

Ahh..its another day in school..i would say one of the last few.. :(
Today, our english teacher discussed a question on the novel The Pearl

Question: write in detail about an incident or situation in the novel which brings about a major change in the story.

So, our discussion began..here are a few funny scenes that occured in class.. xD
Ohh..but before that, our english teacher said something that was quite saddening..this is roughly the conversation that we had..

Mr Oung: Hmm..school lessons are going to end soon..

Someone in class *didn't identify who..*: Sir..will you remember us?!

Chee Lee: Yes lah! I know he will..right sir?..especially the boisterous ones?..

Class: Hahahahaha..

Mr Oung: *grins widely* boisterous ones? Ehh..as far as i know, there's only one lar! When you say boisterous, i can only identify one..

Class: Hahahaha..must be Chee Lee lar!

Mr Oung: Yes lar..Chee Lee, i'll remember you..u'll make it great.. i can see from your face that you'll be someone great..

Class: Waaahhh..Chee Lee...

I turned around to tease Chee Lee.. then she said..

Chee Lee: Hahahaha..*shakes head*

Me:..Ehh..it's a compliment larr!!

Chee Lee: Hehe..i know..but then i feel that it's so funny cause that so doesn't sound like me!

Me & Xin Ling: Hahahaha..

Chee Lee: Then who else will u remember? Julin? Joyce..Yi Lyn..

Mr Oung: Yeah..i'll remember Julin..i'll remember Joyce.. i'll remember this class lahh..

We then proceeded to the novel discussion...Ahh..so confusing..later this later that..

Julin: So sir..what is the focus of the question? Must we ellaborate on the incident or the change of the story?

Mr Oung: Good question..you used the word 'focus'..that's good..read the question lar..*reads question again*..so it must be the incident lar!

Julin: Are incidents events? or ..are events incidents?..or..many incidences make up an event?

Hiyo..what the h*** are we talking about?! I'm also blur now! Then we discussed about the plot of the story & how to tackle the question...

Mr Oung: The relevancy of the events you quote must be accurate. If not, then the student will only get 0 - 3 marks. That's why the literature part is so easy to mark! When we see that it's not relevant then we won't read it anymore..

Yi Lyn & Chee Lee: Sir!!..*both starts to talk at the same time! imagine!*

Mr Oung: Wahh..now there are really 2 boisterous ones!! Wah..cannot let them talk at the same time one!

Class: Hahahaha..

Mr Oung: Ok lar..Yi Lyn..u ask.. Chee Lee..hold your horses..

Class: Hahahaha..

Yi Lyn: Sir..wrong! What if...

Mr Oung: HUHH?! You're saying that we - examiners are WRONG?!! What man!

Yi Lyn: *laughs like how she always does..like machine gun, duck..what else..hmm..*No..i wanted to say..what if our answer is only a little bit out..

Class: Hahahahaha..

Chee Lee: Sir, what if our answer is partly correct leh?

Mr Oung: There's no such thing as 'partly correct' one lahh!

There was some sort of english literature debate ler..haih..in conclusion..we were are lost!

Mr Oung: Are you all clear?

Julin: Yeah..vaguely clear..(hahaha)

Oh Boy! this debate is to be continued next week..tiring!! but it was certainly fun! =) english class always brightens up our class..
Oh ya..there was also one more incident that i know i'll kena from Chee Lee..

Chee Lee: Ehh, Joyce arr..can u please help ask him something for me..ask him..*can't remember question*...

Me: Ok...* turns around*.. Sir!! Chee Lee wants to ask u something!!

Chee Lee: waahh..this Joyce..

Me: OOps..i'm gonna kena from her..

Chee Lee:..Yeah..u're gonna kena..i'm gonna strangle u!!

Mr Oung: Haiyo Chee Lee..why u ask Joyce to ask?..Why u can't ask me yourself??

Chee Lee: No larr..i scared u scold me again mar..

Mr Oung: Ohh..so you're saying that i always go around scolding people larr??

Class: HAHAHAHAHA!!

Mr Oung: Am i that kinda person?? * grins widely..i can see all his teeth!!*

Class: HAHAHAHAH!!

Hmm..that's about it larr..a day to remember..=) i'll definitely miss these moments when i'm gonna leave school..i'm afraid that i'll forget..so now that i've blogged it..i can share it with all of you & also take a glimpse into the window of the past..ohh..i'll stop here or i may end up sobbing!!

XOXO,
Joyce TSM

Bestest Of Wishes!

2008-10-29T10:50:00.004+08:00

Hmmm..sad to say..this may be my last post till SPM is over..u know..one of the biggest battles in a student's life..argh! about 1 and a half weeks more to go..it's agony!!

But anyways..i just wanna dedicate this post to all my form 5 friends.. All The Best in your SPM examinations.. may all of you have good health, good memory & good sleep for the weeks to come..it's the last "battle" in secondary school guys! let's gambate!! =) We'll merdeka soon.. so lets work our butts off before we party! we must berperang habis-habisan!! LOL..

XOXO,
Joyce TSM

My Self-proclaimmed Holiday.. xD

2008-10-17T11:53:00.008+08:00

LOL..in other words it means that i skipped class today..commonly said "ponteng"..haha.. but i can't help it! most of my friends..i would say 90% told me that they won't be attending class today..when the class is almost empty..the teachers won't be able to teach!
*logically!*..so then what's the point of going to school when the teachers don't teach..(especially when Ms Koay - the chemistry teacher is away for invigilation!)..besides that, if i go to school 2day i'll most probably be chatting away or writing autographs for my friends..*macam celebrity* =P.. in short.. just gonna be plain distracted in class & wasting away my time! so..i've decided to ponteng & catch up on my sleep...hehehe.. zzz...

Waking up later than usual today, I felt awesome! It's hard to get a good night's rest at this time of the year..After going to the market with mom today, we went to the gas station..the Shell gas station beside McD in green lane..before that, we drove passed Heng Ee & i noticed many students walking on the streets as if they were going home..i thought that their school might be having Price-giving Day or something and they were allowed to leave early after the event ended..then, we drove pass PFS..oh my! guess what we saw?..students playing with firecrackers at the side of the road!! *i guess PFS students are famous for that!* many students were seen leaving early..(what the h*** is going on?!)..i thought..takkan so many schools having prize-giving at the same time!!..& what coincidence that they end at the same time too! Hmm..something fishy's going on...then we stopped to pump petrol..things got weirder when i saw CGL girls walking pass to McD!! now this is strange!!..i don't recall my school having any special events 2day!! ...then it all made sense..haih..PMR was just over ler.. *SWT*..i was like "OOHHhhh..."

Argh..how i envy them! they MERDEKA already!! ..but well..our day will come when we - fifth formers can yell 'merdeka!!' after our last paper!! Wooo.. =) but now we have to work our butts off before we can relax..hmm..getting ready to go to the battle field again!..."Perang Peperiksaan 2008"...hahaha.. =)

There's Been A Death In The Opposite House..

2008-10-12T12:04:00.005+08:00

No..it's not the poem! It's what really happened in the opposite house..at approximately 9.45 am this morning, i received a phone call from my neighbour..my dad was watching tv and my mom was in the room..so i had to answer the call..she told me that her husband was gone..in eternal sleep..i did not know what to say..so i called my mom to talk to her.. she told us about the venue for the wake but my mom did not know the place..so my dad was put on the line and it turned out that my dad kinda knew where it was..

Her husband had been surferring a lot..he had liver disease, diabetes, and he had his 2nd stroke the last time we talked to his wife.. at that time, he was already on wheels..for the pass 2-3 weeks, his wife had been taking care of him day & night in the GH..my parents and i went to visit him about 2 weeks back.. his condition was not at all encouraging..he thought that he was going to die the night before and asked his wife to ring up all his old friends as he might not see them again..it was a sad sight..it turned out that there was a problem with his spinal cord and he needed surgery..but the doctors could not do anything until he recovered from his stroke because he was too weak..his wife told us that they were looking forward to the surgery..but i guess the day never came..he had gone home before being able to go through the surgery that he needed..

Although he was always quiet and i didn't really knew him, i know that he was a very generous man as he invited my family and i to his daughter's birthday party this year..he even gave me a red packet during CNY! Besides that, his wife and my mom always talked on the corridor and their dog was let out to play with my dog..i also remembered once when he had a fall in his house and his wife was unable to help him up..so my dad was called over to help..in short, they were good neighbours..we can rarely find good neighbours nowadays..i mean, come on..do u even know your neighbour's names? sometimes we are so ignorant that we don't! but i am truly glad that i got to know them and at least i've seen him before he went away..

People go when they are ready..not when we are..time passes so swiftly that we sometimes don't notice the people around us..only when something happens to them..but then it might be already too late..we have to appreciate and acknowledge the people around us before time runs out..

Although my neighbour has passed away..i guess his wife is also relieved as he does not need to suffer anymore..he can now rest in eternal peace..death is a part of life..and we should embrace it with rationality and prayers..

CHANGES...

2008-10-07T14:40:00.000+08:00

This week we're bound to get all our marks..of course i'm nervous about it! but..then again i'm not as nervous as before..suddenly, i notice that i've changed alot this year..i don't let the exam fears get the best of me anymore..even if i didn't finish studying or revising for my trials..i don't feel like crying anymore..unlike the years before.. i also feel that i've learned to be optimistic in pessimistic situations and i've also learned to let go..but the most valuable thing that i've learned is that true happiness is free and it's right beneath my nose! = )

Everyone is afraid of changes.. we are all fearful of the unknown; the unfamiliar and the alien.. speaking of changes reminds me of what i'm gonna face..& also what all my form 5 friends are going to face: changes after SPM..where will i be? what will i be doing? how am i going to adapt? these question do bother me once in a while..but i'm glad that i don't think of it too often..however these things will eventually fall into place once SPM's over..
We will be taking on different paths..different courses and careers..meeting new people and making new friends..spreading our wings and finally taking flight into the real world..the world of unknown waters filled with an ocean of people..CHANGE . It's a scary word..

Changes can be uncomfortable and scary..for example, going to a new tuition or switching classes.. but we shouldn't be too afraid of it because change is nature..we change all the time without realising.. when i sit down and observe, i do notice changes in people.. some change in their appearance..shorter hair, more stylish..some are more confident than before, however, some become more quiet, sensitive and bitter.. friends become enemies and cold war strikes without warning.. changes can occur so fast - so rapidly that we can't see it coming.."no regrets", so the saying goes..but sometimes i do wish that i could turn back time to right the wrongs and undo some deeds..sometimes i wish that the people around me didn't change into what they are now..but i guess sometimes wishes can only remain as wishes.. written words can be erased but some things just can't be changed..some changes are permanent and can't be undone..

Changes..it occurs everywhere, all the time..but the only question is..do we change for the better or for the worse?

A Walk Through Penang's Amazon..

2008-10-03T15:07:00.000+08:00

Ahh..the rain is finally easing..yesterday i get to go to the Jelutong market with my mom & dad.. =) after that, my dad & i decided to take a trip up to the Air Itam dam..whereas my mom stayed home to cook.. i love the outdoors especially when i can be surrounded by trees, fresh air and wildlife.. the condition up there is really pristine! very little vehicles, countless numbers of trees and a whole lotta cool, clear water! i would say that the air up there is the best there is in Penang!! really!.. on our way up the dam, we drove pass the Air Itam market and Kek Lok Si temple..people were marketing, hawkers were busy selling food and many Buddhist worshippers were seen at the entrance of the temple.. it was quite a jam as many people were out on the 2nd day of raya..but we managed to squeezed through the bustling traffic and arrived at the dam with satisfacion as we saw the lush green scenery of the forest..Ahh..we could finally leave all the honking, screeching of brakes and puffs of smoke behind on the pavement's grey..while here, it is only green, green and more green!!

As we approached the walking trail, my dad and i saw something surfacing the water and swimming with is head above the water..we thought that it was an otter..i ran all the way where that creature was and was a little dissapointed to find that it was actually a monitor lizard..but it was a huge one..among the largest that i've ever seen..and to my surprise, there were actually 2 lizards!..perhaps they are a couple? hehe =) we continued our journey along the trail that snakes around the dam, chit-chatting and taking more pictures as we strolled under the canopy of ever green foliage that shaded us from the morning sun..the air was very humid as a result of the rain that poured non-stop for 2 days..the dam was filled to its maximum capacity!..the breeze was cool and chilly - it was like being in an air-conditioned room! it was a very, very long walk and we finally reach the end of the trail..where we parked our car..but my dad and i wasn't done yet.. =P we decided to turn around & walk through the trail again! wow..i've never walked so much since...i don't know when..but the walk was definitely one worth remembering..my dad & i talked much..we had a really great "father-daughter time" together..we came across a few motorbikers which to me were polluting the pristine environment there! perhaps they wanted to enjoy the view but were too lazy to walk..but trust me..the best way to experience a rainforest is to walk right through it! there are so many little details that can't be seen if you ride through it!

Upon reaching the end of the trail, we came across a very beautiful green & black butterfly..as i was the 'photographer' of the day..and amatur one that is..i quickly grabbed my camera and put my photography skills to the test..capturing a shot of the butterfly was no easy task..it was fluttering around non stop! besides that, it seems to notice that i was trying to take a picture of it & tried to flutter away whenever i was ready to press the capture button! ...perhaps its camera-shy?..hahaha..but it finally lands on some soil and i get into position..zoom, zoom, zoom..and snap! but it was in such a position that its wings were closed up..i wanted more than that! i wanted a shot where its wings was spread out..i actually held my ready-photo-capturing-position for almost 5 minutes to finally get the perfect shot! .. YES!! =)

Although my dad & i were quite exhausted after our walk, we felt great as we were able to experience a tropical rainforest and fill our lungs with the fresh air of contentment..sometimes we should take time to stop and smell the roses..lets not ride through life. lets walk through it.. there are many little things in life that we don't notice because we ride through it..for example..a sunny day, a good book or maybe just drawing in a nice, deep breath.. =) Hope u guys take time to enjoy the pictures.. *warning: i'm an amature photographer.. =P

~ my personal favourite..a creeper

~interesting fern

~purple flowers

~a monitor lizard

~ green, green , green!!

~flooded river

~ the beautiful butterfly that i was telling u about! ..not an easy catch!!

~ the dam is so full!

~ typical forest fern

~ monkey cups!..but no monkeys.. =P

~ do u see a trail of ants?..hihi :-P

~ a stream..

* Hope u enjoyed the pics! *

WET! WET! WET!

2008-09-30T11:26:00.000+08:00

It's been raining non-stop since monday! My plan of going to the market with my mom was cancelled! haih..have to stay at home and eat bread with tuna spread.. no 'hokkien mee', 'char koay kak' and 'teh peng'.. =( can't even go swimming because i might freeze to death! So its "stay at home" day ..i obviously can't be studying all day coz i might go insane!! so i've been thinking of what to do to make my stay at home a whole lot more meaningful..

10 THINGS U CAN DO WHEN U HAVE TO STAY AT HOME ALL DAY (especially when it's raining)
by joyce teh

* in random order..

1. tidy up ur room! don't leave it the way it was after u woke up! it's like a pig sty!

2. take a nice warm bath... it's freezing out there!!

3. watch ur favourite channel on tv or ur favourite movies, dramas, sitcoms.. this one week hols might be the last time u can watch tv in peace coz SPM's coming!! ~do treasure the time u have with ur tv.. =P

4. spend time with ur pets (this only applies to people with pets..don't ignore ur pets! they have feelings too..)

5. take time to drink a nice cup of hot chocolate..but first check ur milk to avoid consuming malamine..hehe =P

6. do ur revision!! SPM's coming..have to 'gambate!' but do take short breaks in between to avoid mental breakdowns and insanity..

7. go wish ur Malay friends Selamat Hari Raya! sms them, wish them thru MSN, send an e-card, call them..whatever u can do to wish them happiness..

8. do ur homework.. don't curi tulang! get that descriptive essay done!! * i'm actually reminding myself coz i haven't done it yet.. =P

9. indulge in a moment of silence & nostalgia..as the song goes..listen to the rhythm of the falling rain.. it's very relaxing to close ur eyes & listen to the pitter-patter of the rain..try it!

10. spend quality time with ur family..catch up with what they're up to..help around the house.. sometimes we get too indulged with our own stuff that we don't realise that we've ignored them.. it's a joy to spend time with them..*to me, this should be number 1 =) *

FINALLY..AFTER 5 YEARS!

2008-09-23T19:52:00.001+08:00

Today I finally get to remove my braces! AAHHHHH!!! It's been too long since i last smiled to take a picture with my teeth without braces =)..it feels kinda weird after taking it off today.. It suddenly feels so smooth inside! haha.. and since i've worn it for 5 years, i need not put on the retainers..oh thank god! The trip to the dentist has been the norm and my mom & i are more like friends than patients with the dentist..obviously, I have been wearing braces for too long!! My dentist wouldn't let me take it off until he was "self-satisfied"..as he term it..he says that he achieves self-satisfaction when he completes his task to perfection - the best arrangement that he can get.. OK OK..he is a good dentist..there aren't many like him nowadays; although i always complain that he talks too much and he always postphone the day when i can finally take my braces off..but i guess it's a good thing as now, I do not need to put on the retainers..anywayz..i'm really glad to have my teeth back as it is... but a thousand times more orderly arranged of course!! hehe.. =P

My Pre-SPM Experience..

2008-09-19T15:25:00.001+08:00

The SPM Trial Examinations is finally over! YAY! Finally...i can sit back, relax and enjoy some entertainment ( listening to my favourite music, watching TV and updating my blog!)

I'm pretty sure that 99% of us-students DON'T LIKE or HATE exams..except for the 1% of students who are either mad, out of their brains, over confident or just plain robots! But nevertheless..i do know 1 person who is a robot...*those who are close to me should know who i'm talking about-especially my bff, Xin Ling..hihihi..*

BEFORE THE EXAMS...

1. I study until late into the night..or should i say morning.. burning the midnight oil..
2. Lack of sleep..sleep deprived = brain is oxygen deprived (according to my chemistry teacher,
Ms Koay)
3. Worry + Anxiety = Insomnia + Mental Stress
4. *I'm sure that all of you will agree with me on this* All the teachers are racing to finish the
syllabus..i call it " The Bullet Train Teaching Technique ".. The teachers seem to ignore our
difficulty in coping wih the lesson..finishing the syllabus is their only aim.. we try super hard
to grasp the concept of Physics, Chemistry and Biology..and not to mention cramming our tiny
brains with uncountable equations + never ending History facts - names, dates and events!
We struggle and strive like salmons swimming against the flowing current! AH! The life of 5th
formers (in the sense of studies) is undeniably hard, rough and tough!
5. Entertainment deprived...70% of the time for entertainment is cut down ( reading favourite books, listening to my mp3, watching tv, playing with my dog, sleeping until satisfaction, no fried foods..the list goes on!)..seriously.. I am having DARURAT! I believe my friends faced the same situation.. =P

IN THE EXAMINATION HALL...

1. My brain is working hard to stay focused.. ( I drank essence of chicken before coming to
school..i guess it works after all!)
2. We try hard to recall what we've revised..especially Sejarah facts, experiments and of course
equations.. Our brains are saturated, condensed and we try to squeeze creative juices out of it
to write our essays..not to mention that we are constantly battling against the ticking of the
clock to complete our papers with our best shot! Oh..what mental torture!!
3. We force our bladders to cope with our kidneys! As most of the papers are 2 and a half hours
long, we glue ourselves to the chairs and struggle to complete our papers..ignoring the urge to
empty our overly filled bladders! Not to mention that our Biology paper 3 forced us to think
about our bladders, excretory products and the loo! *currently laughing in front of my laptop
while my dog is staring at me with her eyes wide and head tilted to one side-she must think
that i've gone mad!* =) and also our Bio teacher, Pn Choo accidentally took a stack of
the test papers home and there were not enough test papers for some of the students during
Biology 3..so some of the girls had to do question 2 first (planning an experiment)..although i
wasn't affected, but somehow i felt a little disturbed over that incident..i am truly thankful
that i wasn't one of the affected strudents..phew!
4. The muscles of our hand is being stretched to its limits..we write endlessly with beads of
words threaded into a necklace of sentences.. After that, our hand and shoulders
ache..hmm..must be due to the build-up of lactic acid in our muscles! haha..

ON THE LAST DAY OF OUR TRIALS...

We were going to have our Physics paper 2 and 3..AHH! To me, it's the scariest paper of all becoz i've never been really good in physics..and it's all about calculations!
1. We were fighting against time to finish our physics paper 2..since we have like 8 questions and 2 essays!
2. Trying hard to recall equations and formulas..
3. And just when we have about 20 minutes more before the end of the paper, our physics
teacher, Mr Koay suddenly made an announcement that there was a typo error in the value of
latent heat of fusion! 'I was like 'what the...only now wanna announce?! I'm struggling to
finish my essay and now i have to change the working for that question!!' It was scary..fear
of changing the working and ending up with the wrong answer & fear of not being able to finish
up my essay which carried lots of marks!
4. Physics paper 3 - it wasn't too bad..except that i'm not sure wether or not its ok to plot the
graph to scale by starting from zero..i sure hope that its ok..and also..everyone was asking
"What is inertia balance?!" after the exam..haha..

AND SO..finally, SPM Trials 2008 for the fifth formers of CGL is over!!! And now i get to do all my favourite things.. but overall, I would say that the exam papers were not easy as they were undeniably tricky and I alwayz complain of lack of time! But despite so, I would like to wish all the very best to my friends and may u guys have great relaxations to compensate for the curfew and the WAR we just had! LOL.. =P

My 2nd Blog..

2008-09-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

Hey people! I'm creating another blog coz my old blog was not funtioning the way i wanted it to..well at least i think it wasn't functioning! Maybe there are some settings that can be made to restore it to the blog that i once had but i'm too lazy to figure it out..=)